A blonde went to city hall to register to vote. The clerk asked her, "When s your birthday?" She replied, 'June 10."

The clerk asked, "What year?"
The blonde said, "Every year."

Timezones are so weird like, it’s june 1 in Australia, May 31 in Canada

and still 1920 in America

What do you mean June is over.

Julying.

What has your favourite day of 2020 been?

Mine has been June 31st

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in June!”

“Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.

It’s now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won’t say where she got them.

My dad said everything would be back to normal by June

So I told him yesterday "Julyed"

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe

and 1954 in america

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

No wonder Pride month is in June...

It always comes before the Fall.

Someone told me today is June 1st.

But they May be wrong.

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Man should ejaculate 21 times per month

Research says a man should ejaculate 21 times per month to reduce risk of developing prostate cancer.

It's June 2020 and I'm already done with August 2023

What would have happened if Hank Snow married June Carter?

Six inches of Snow in June.

I was 35 when 2020 started...

It's June and I'm 42.

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Today is devils day

June 6 Saturday

Nostalgia: What did June Cleaver say to her husband, Ward, in the morning?

Don't you think you were a little rough on the Beaver last night?

June 7th, 2019, the day the moon became a part of Mars

Thanks POTUS.

Why do truck drivers love the 1st day of June?

Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas

I was born in june.

Even the zodiac knows I'm cancerous.

Me and my girlfriend are getting married

"When?"

Me on 10th June

She on 20th July

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A Toronto man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Toronto.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then ...

What happened in Hong Kong this week?

According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.

You should cut people born between June 21st and July 22nd out of your life...

They're Cancer.

Don't forget, Sperm Donor day is June 16th this year.

It's like Father's Day, but it comes a little early.

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

Husband: I have cheated once

Husband: I have cheated once

Wife: me too.

husband: 1st of Apriii....

Wife: 18th of June

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

Buzzfeed must have been born between May 22nd and June 22nd...

Because it’s definitely a Cancer

What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month?

Don't July to me!

When is the beginning of June also the end of May?

When it's the UK general election

JUNE (to Yoda): Do you think April will march in the parade?

YODA: March April may, June.

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"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust.

We call her Summer for short.

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

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When was the first time sex was discussed on TV.

When June Cleaver told Ward, “ You were pretty hard on the Beaver last night.”

What did May tell June when they were fighting?

Don't July to me

What do you call someone who doesn't belive it is June yet?

A May-Sayer

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed

The label says the expiry date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time

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Girl, you're like school in june..

No class.

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Joe goes to buy a new suit after surgery

This joke belongs to Buddy Hackett (August 31, 1924 – June 30, 2003)

I never saw a version here that correctly attributed this to him.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.<...

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After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

The doctor could not find any explanation for this.

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: 'E...

If you have to schedule a meeting with a person or people you do not like, here are some days to tell them, no manner what year...

February 30th

April 31st

June 31st

September 31st

November 31st

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A very elderly British gentleman arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

“You have been to France before, Monsieur?” the immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

“Then you should know well...

The Indian that never forgets.

Once a man was traveling through the west on vacation, when he saw a sign that said, "Meet the Indian Who Never Forgets, Next Exit". Well, being curious, the man stops at the attraction to see the Indian. He asks the man, "What did you have for breakfast on June 9, 1978?" The Indian replies "Eggs!"<...

How do you stop a dog barking in July?

Shoot him in June.


From the old Adam West Batman, as told by Cesar Romero. Still the #1 Joker, apologies to Heath Ledger.

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah nah nah. Nah nah nah.

Hey June

A man comes home one night to find his blonde wife reading his personal journal.

“I can explain everything,” he begins. She interrupts him midsentence and exclaims, “You’re darn right you’ve got some explaining to do, and you can start with telling me who April, May, and June are!”

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A young and aspiring journalist is going around her town trying to find interesting local people she could write a good story on.

Suddenly she spots an old shriveled bald man that is furiously smoking cigarettes. He looks to be around ninety or even hundred years old but still vigorous enough to be outside on a bench and smoking.

She goes up to to the man because she finds it interesting that he is so old and yet still ...

I loved watching "Leave it to Beaver"

Just so I could hear June say "Gosh Ward, you sure were hard on the Beaver last night"

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No Nut November.

Guess it prepares me for Dick Devouring December, Johnson Jumping January, Fuck Frenzy February, Manic Masturbation March, All Anal April, My Magical May, Just Jizz June, Jimmy Jacking July, Arse Adventure August, Stained Sheets September and my all time favourite Oral Only October.

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New Scam on Senior Men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco,...

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Didn't you hear about that scandal at NASA's JPL in Pasadena?

hey guys, did you hear about that story that came to light a few years ago? At Caltech's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (where they assemble a bunch of the spacecraft that they go on interplanetary missions on, such as Voyager 1 & 2, all of the mars probes, and Cassini, for a few examples) round 2010...

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So there’s a 12-floor building

The first floor is named January
Second floor is February
Third is March
Forth is April
Fifth is May
Sixth is June
Seventh -July
Eight - August
Ninth - September
Tenth October
Eleventh November
And finally the twelfth floor is named December.

How do ...

Q: When does January end?

A: February 1st


Q: When does March end?

A: April 1st

Q: When does May end?

A: June 7th

One Sunday morning...

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at ...

My crush finally texted me first

"I'm updating my privacy policy to make it easier for you to understand what information I collect from you. Click here to review my updated privacy policy, effective from June 2018"

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Blonde Logic Highlights

Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

Apr...

With the current outlook on UK exit polls...

It looks like june is the end of May

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Boudreaux goes to Hell

So one day, Boudreaux gets into a boating accident and dies. Unfortunately, St. Peter sends him to hell.

Later on, the devil's making his rounds and sees Boudreaux, just sitting on a rock, smiling like an idiot. The devil goes up to him and says, "Hey, why the heck are you smiling? You're in ...

April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

June bugs.

What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies.

I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is...

He responded with June, July, and August

A farmer dies and goes to hell

While down there the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it's 90 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the farmer and asks why he's so happy.

The farmer says, "I like it here. The temperature is just like plowing my fie...

I emailed Netflix and asked if they had Batman Forever

they said, "No, just till the end of June".

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

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