What would have happened if Hank Snow married June Carter?

Six inches of Snow in June.

Nostalgia: What did June Cleaver say to her husband, Ward, in the morning?

Don't you think you were a little rough on the Beaver last night?

The Retired Husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following...

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I’ll be in June!”

“Oh I don’t know princess, why don’t you tell me?” I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.

It’s now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won’t say where she got them.

How do you stop a dog barking in July?

Shoot him in June.


From the old Adam West Batman, as told by Cesar Romero. Still the #1 Joker, apologies to Heath Ledger.

Theresa May is going to resign as the prime minister in the first week of June

Which means that the first week of June is the last week of May

Pride month shouldn't have been in June.

It should be in August.

After all, pride comes before the fall.

Someone told me today is June 1st.

But they May be wrong.

I kept hearing some crazy stuff was happening in Hong Kong so I looked it up.

According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.

Did you know?

You’re 100% more likely to get Cancer if you’re born between June 21st and July 22nd?

A Miami man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Miami.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then go...

If you have to schedule a meeting with a person or people you do not like, here are some days to tell them, no manner what year...

February 30th

April 31st

June 31st

September 31st

November 31st

Why do truck drivers love the 1st day of June?

Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas

A man comes home one night to find his blonde wife reading his personal journal.

“I can explain everything,” he begins. She interrupts him midsentence and exclaims, “You’re darn right you’ve got some explaining to do, and you can start with telling me who April, May, and June are!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

The doctor could not find any explanation for this.

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: 'E...

A young and aspiring journalist is going around her town trying to find interesting local people she could write a good story on.

Suddenly she spots an old shriveled bald man that is furiously smoking cigarettes. He looks to be around ninety or even hundred years old but still vigorous enough to be outside on a bench and smoking.

She goes up to to the man because she finds it interesting that he is so old and yet still ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No Nut November.

Guess it prepares me for Dick Devouring December, Johnson Jumping January, Fuck Frenzy February, Manic Masturbation March, All Anal April, My Magical May, Just Jizz June, Jimmy Jacking July, Arse Adventure August, Stained Sheets September and my all time favourite Oral Only October.

Indian Memory man

Once a man was traveling through the west on vacation, when he saw a sign that said, "Meet the Indian Who Never Forgets, Next Exit". Well, being curious, the man stops at the attraction to see the Indian. He asks the man, "What did you have for breakfast on June 9, 1978?" The Indian replies "Eggs!"<...

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

Don't forget, Sperm Donor day is June 16th this year.

It's like Father's Day, but it comes a little early.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe goes to buy a new suit after surgery

This joke belongs to Buddy Hackett (August 31, 1924 – June 30, 2003)

I never saw a version here that correctly attributed this to him.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.<...

What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month?

Don't July to me!

A symphony is preparing for a concert.

The crowds eagerly await this outdoor performance of the Hallelujah Chorus. However, it's the middle of June, and the heat is terrible. All the flutes, trumpets, and tubas are out of tune. The choir is miserable and sweaty.

Ultimately, they're forced to cancel the performance. It was simply t...

My crush finally texted me first

"I'm updating my privacy policy to make it easier for you to understand what information I collect from you. Click here to review my updated privacy policy, effective from June 2018"

Q: When does January end?

A: February 1st


Q: When does March end?

A: April 1st

Q: When does May end?

A: June 7th

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there’s a 12-floor building

The first floor is named January
Second floor is February
Third is March
Forth is April
Fifth is May
Sixth is June
Seventh -July
Eight - August
Ninth - September
Tenth October
Eleventh November
And finally the twelfth floor is named December.

How do ...

I loved watching "Leave it to Beaver"

Just so I could hear June say "Gosh Ward, you sure were hard on the Beaver last night"

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah nah nah. Nah nah nah.

Hey June

Husband: I have cheated once

Husband: I have cheated once

Wife: me too.

husband: 1st of Apriii....

Wife: 18th of June

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

One Sunday morning...

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blonde Logic Highlights

Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

Apr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Scam on Senior Men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco,...

June is already over?

Julying

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed

The label says the expiry date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time

When is the beginning of June also the end of May?

When it's the UK general election

A marine hits the beach on D-Day

A young marine hits the beach on D-Day, June 6, 1944. In the chaos of storming the beach he drops his rifle. Panicing, he runs to his Sergent and tells him what happened. The Sergent hands him a peice of driftwood and says "Now anytime you see a Kraut, just point this stick a him and should 'bangity...

What did May tell June when they were fighting?

Don't July to me

What Month Is It?

No, not January.

June.

We’ve just seen the end of May.

My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust.

We call her Summer for short.

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very elderly British gentleman arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

“You have been to France before, Monsieur?” the immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

“Then you should know well...

What do you call someone who doesn't belive it is June yet?

A May-Sayer

Girl, you're like school in june..

No class.

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