If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Smallpox.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually, she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted...

What’s the only difference between Valentine’s Day and April fools?

I don’t get my hopes up when April fools comes around

I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.

Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can’t read so I’m relatively sure she didn’t find it here.

What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Going to be a father in April and remembered this classic:

A new machine had come out in the medicine field and a doctor was working with a pregnant couple that wanted to participate in the clinical trials.

"This machine," he says, "once hooked up to the mother will make it so she feels none of the pain, but the father will have to endure all of it."...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I know April keeps going until May comes...(NSFW)

Because the wall I share with my lesbian neighbors is real thin.

Why do native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It's a healthy relationship

My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deepthroat blowjob today.

"Really!" I exclaimed.

"No," She said, "April Foogargagggrraggggle."

That'll teach her to try and be funny...

My wife on April's Fool's Day texted me a picture of a sonogram with the message: "Guess what I'm pregnant again”

I texted back: "Haha very funny, I know what today is, you're like the third person to send me that today.

What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

I just ran over my dog.

April fools! I don't know whose dog it was.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

So it's April 2nd

And my wife's still pregnant...

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind

Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind. One evening as his mother puts him to bed she says to him, "Jonny, tomorrow is a very special day: if you pray extra hard tonight God will grant you the miracle of sight". Super excited, Jonny jumps back out of bed, clasps his hands together and begin to ...

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

The last time Easter fell on April Fool’s Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

As an April fools joke, I told my SO that I was pregnant...

...sadly she didn't fall for it.

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp on April Fool's Day

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in f...

Snow in April

Tommy and Ricky were looking out the window
“How could it still be snowing in April” Tommy asked

“I don’t know, but at least we have something in common with the black community now”, Ricky replied.

“What’s that”, Tommy’s asked

“We’re both tired of seeing white”

JUNE (to Yoda): Do you think April will march in the parade?

YODA: March April may, June.

If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring?

Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.

April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

June bugs.

What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies.

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April....

....but that's fine, my life is already a joke.

Timmy's April Fool's joke

The day is April 1st, and Timmy wanted to play an April Fool's joke on his mom.
His mom comes home from work, and Timmy rushes to her.

"Mommy! Mommy!" He says, frantically.

"What is it, Timmy?" She asks.

"Dad hanged himself in the garage!"

The mom screams, then rushes...

We can always count on /r/jokes on April 1st...

for not making jokes like the rest of the subreddits.

April 1st Operation

(Doctor walks out of operation room. A man quickly reached the doctor.)

"How's my wife? How's my baby?"

"Well your wife is okay, but... Your baby... umm..."

(Man starts crying)

"APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHA! Jokes on you!" (laugh)

(Man starts laughing with the doctor.)
<...

In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived.

I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

Today is "International Women's Day",

but don't worry guys “International Men’s Day” is coming April 1st.

April fool!

While at work, right in a quite important meeting of some sort, Rick's mobile phone rings. Anxious because he knows what might be the reason behind this call, he answers the phone, only to jump up some seconds later, breathlessly take his coat and hat, squeaking some excuses to his smiling boss, has...

I just thought of a great April fools joke

If everyone posted original content all day. But it wouldn't last 5 minutes if we are realistic.

Mark Zuckerberg published “a privacy-focused vision” for Facebook today.

Oh wait, it’s not April 1.

Pope John XXIII is going to formally become a saint on Sunday (27 April 2014). Here is a sample of his humorous quips:

1. Visiting a hospital he asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy said either a policeman or a pope. "I would go in for the police if I were you," the Holy Father said. "Anyone can become a pope, look at me!"

2. "It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think ab...

What's cold and comes in April?

Her dad.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

April 1 . . .

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?


Old Lady: I am 94 years old.


Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?


Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening...