Why do Native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school...

Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and t...

My colleagues took April Fools Day pretty seriously this year

Over a month and a half of going into the office and they're all still hiding from me

My birthday was in April, and 2020 made it a joke..

Same as my first cake day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

I once knew someone who was born on April 1st and died on April 1st...

...His entire life was one big joke.

Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April

He simply forgot to say 2021.

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

I have joined reddit on april 1st

so I guess you can say

I'm the joke.

Roses are red, April is grey, The next time you leave your house

It’s Gonna Be May

If April showers bring May flowers...

I'm on track to get 2 flowers next month.

We are not sure what April's disaster is...

It May not exist

Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?

They just went through a grueling 31 day March.

In honor of the eve of April Fools Day... just remember that tomorrow you need to be cautious of many tweets and news reports because most of them will be lies and simply there to try and trick you. Believe nothing, and trust no one.

Just treat it like it's any other day.



Have fun!

I have an April fools joke going on with my landlord

I am not paying rent this April 1st hehe, don't tell him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My best April Fools

A long time ago, before work, I drove through the shittiest neighborhood I could find, looking for broken auto glass. I found a pile from some unfortunate soul that had their car broken into and scooped it all up.

After settling in at work, I asked to borrow my boss's keys for access to the s...

My boyfriend said he wanted to break up on April Fool’s day

It would have been funnier if he hadn’t been saying it for weeks now.

April Fool’s Day has been POSTPONED.

I’ll tell you the new date tomorrow.

We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.

I think the Stimulus Package is a sick April Fools joke.

It’s a Stimu-LIE!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife offered me a blowjob today.

‘Really’ I said

‘No, April fooaarrrrglegargle’

That’ll teach her to be funny

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

So John is sitting in class in front of April, and...

The teacher asks "Who created this world?"
John pokes April in the back with a pencil, and April shouts "Oh lord!"
The teacher says "That's right, April! Now, does anyone in the class know what happens when you die and you lived a good life?"
John pokes April again. "Heavens for crying out ...

Shoe Store

When I was young my parents started up a shoe store, which wasn’t overly successful but they made ends meet. Due to various economic pressures they had to outsource labour overseas to China. My father, Bob, could speak Mandarin so always conversed with the manager of the production plant in their na...

Little Johnny is sitting in class behind a girl named April

The teacher asks “who created the universe”
Little Johnny poked April with his pencil and April yelled “MY GOD”
the teacher replied with “ yes, god did create the universe”
Then the teacher asked another question “where do you go when you live a good life after you die”
Little Johnny pok...

Another day at the underwear store...

A man walks up to the counter. "Two pairs of underwear please." The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief.

"Only two pairs of underwear?"

"Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash."

The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order....

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy's mom comes home. "Billy, what's wrong?" -"Dad hanged himself in the attic!" he said in tears.

The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling.
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."

Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between my wife and my vacuum?

The vacuum doesn't snore after sex.



April fools, I don't have a wife.

Parents should wake their kids up early tomorrow and tell them to get ready for school because coronavirus was canceled

April Fool's

Alright 2020, you’ve had your fun.

Now say ‘April fools’ and let us get back to our lives, yeah?

A woman is giving birth to her child

And finally, after much effort and pain, the doctor manages to help deliver the baby. The Doctor then proceeds to chuck the baby out of the window.

W: "Why? Why did you do that to my poor baby, you monster?"

The Doctor laughs maniacally and replies "April Fool's! He was already dead."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandma in Court

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you please state your age?

**Little Old Lady:**
I am **94** years old.

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of **April 1st?**

**Little Old Lady:**
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my fr...

The Mongolians are afraid that the Queen will still be alive on the 21st April 2026.

Because then she'll be a Hun dread.

Husband: I cheated on you once

Wife: well if we are coming clean I cheated on you too

Husband: haha April First!

Wife: it was May 17

E: grammar

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

Mr. T set the ninja turtles up on a blind date.

Mr. T: Here's your girl.

Ninja Turtles: who is she?

Mr T: Its April, fools.





Also, I'm sorry.

April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”

2020 is a unique leap year...

It has 29 days in February.

300 days in March.

And 5 years in April.

Today is the day many people will confess to their crushes

And say it was an April fool's joke when they get rejected

If the situation we’re in right now were an anime, what would it be called?

Your Lockdown in April

Good morning! Coronavirus was just a bad dream!

Happy April Flus

What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello

This morning my wife walk's into the kitchen as I am fixing my morning coffee.

Wife in a very excited tone: "Babe! Babe! I'm pregnant you're going to be a father!"

Me: "Ha! Can't fool me it's April Fools Day!"

Wife: "Haha, got me, you're not the father."

The cold January Month is making life difficult for the couple

The German wife says "I so desperately wish for April"

The Husband though thoughtful of their economic toils consoles her and says he'll try everything he can.

The husband comes home gaily one day and proclaims "Here's your Pril"

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

Today my wife told me she's pregnant because of the mailman

"Really?" I asked her.



"No, April Fools!" she replied, "I got an abortion".

What's the point of the quarantine?

We are all going to die from a meteor in April anyway.

Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So it turns out my mom’s birthday, April 18, is national piñata day

She sure is gonna be surprised when we shove candy up her ass and beat the shit out of her!

What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does May come after April?

Because that's when Parliament is *really* gonna fuck her.

CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools

Just another day in the office.

Why doesn’t April ever eat with the other months?

It starts off fool

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can’t read so I’m relatively sure she didn’t find it here.

What was the worst april fools day joke?

Well logan paul was born in 1995.

What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to be a father in April and remembered this classic:

A new machine had come out in the medicine field and a doctor was working with a pregnant couple that wanted to participate in the clinical trials.

"This machine," he says, "once hooked up to the mother will make it so she feels none of the pain, but the father will have to endure all of it."...

So it's April 2nd

And my wife's still pregnant...

Hey guys, why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 began a racially motivated crime spree on April 28th, 2000 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which left five individuals dead and one paralyzed.

Can February March?

No, but April May. Joke credited to some nice older gentleman at my work today

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

A woman successful gives birth to a baby after several hours of labour. The doctor takes the baby and leaves to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly behind to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against the wall.

The woman screams, "OH MY God! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY Baby!?" To which the doctor replies, " April fools! It was already dead!"

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

You may have heard of No Nut November

But after I came twice in April what I’m really hoping for is a No Fetus February

The last time Easter fell on April Fool’s Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

I think my calendar is broken...

Haha, April Fools!
It works just fine.

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:



“Where were you on the night of October to April?”

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

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