The 78+ Best April Jokes

Roses are red, April is grey, The next time you leave your house

It’s Gonna Be May

Why do Indigenous people hate April?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers

Don't forget that today is April Fools!

**APRIL FOOLS**!

Am I doing this right?

Did you know that the original Easter took place on April 1st?

That Jesus sure knew how to pull off a prank!

What did they say to the first guy to pull off an April fools day prank?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professor: April, you are failing my class.

April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I’m sure we can fix this. I’ll do annnything to pass.

Professor: {gulp} anything?

April: YES! Anything you can dream up.

Professor: Will you…… study?

Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?

They just finished a 31 day March.

The Longest Memory in the World

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the...

Every year on April 15…

…the IRS pays its taxes to Chuck Norris

So June came before May and April...

It was a spectacular threesome

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly woman winds up in court for murder...

Defence barrister: 'Will you please state your full name.'

Agatha: 'Agatha Louise Hewson.'

Defence barrister: 'Will you please state your age'

Agatha: 'I am 94 years old.'

Defence barrister: 'Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question.'
<...

I finally fixed my time machine!

April Fool's! It's still broken.

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel thr...

How many Seconds are in a year?

12!

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What do you call a mud pie on April 22?

An Earthday cake!

I'll see myself out.

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II

# Alaska

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous va...

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

I’ll be here all week folks, try the veal.

What do you call pandas on April 1st?

Bamboo-zler!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oh, April!

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and ...

In April 2021, India was struggling with the coronavirus.

Prime Minister Modi was really concerned, and so he decided that it would be a great idea if he appointed a "Minister of Virus Control." He was considering many of the country's top doctors to fill the position, and eventually, he said that he would tell the public who he appointed on April 25th....

The best time to propose is on April 1st...

If they say no you can yell April fools!

One day in April, three blondes died at the same time and found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

"All three of you have sinned your whole lives," said St. Peter. "Normally, I would send you straight to hell. But since it's near Easter, if you can tell me what Easter is, I will let you into heaven."

"I know what Easter is!" said the first blonde. "Easter is when you dress up as something ...

I played an April Fool's joke on my parkour team this morning.

They all fell for it.

April 5th national read a map day

Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards.

I thought to myself, "That's just spam."

Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.

April fools.

A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day...

The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"

The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!"

Pravda news from April 27th 1986

Glorious Soviet technology allowed workers at Chernobyl power plant to complete five year plan of power production in mere five milliseconds.

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember, there’s a simple mnemonic device to remember month length: “30 days hath September; April, June, and November. All the rest have 31,

Excepting February, who can fuck off, son.
Pay the same bills but get less time
And guess if you get 28 or 29.”

My mom told me she hated me today

She forgot to say April Fools

April 4th National School Librarian Day

I asked the librarian if she would direct me to the self-help books.
She said, “that sort of defeats the purpose doesn’t it?”

After a long labourous birth...

... the gynecologist finally holds the baby. Just as he is about to give it to the mom, he drops it on the floor.

The mother cries out in distress, and the doctor goes: "April's fools! It was already dead!"

Which monster loves April Fools jokes

Pranken-stein!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is going through labor on April 1st

Her husband is driving her to the hospital and when they get to their room, he tells the doctor that he can’t watch up close but he asks if he can stand and watch outside the window. The doctor agrees.

As the baby comes out, the husband gets excited as he sees his new child. The doctor grabs ...

I’m a librarian so I put out a display of invisible books on April Fools day.

But my patrons saw right through it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

What is the name of the musician who was born in the first of April?

Prank Sinatra

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: My wife and I have been working from home since April, and I finally called her HR Department with a complaint.

There has been far less sexual harassment in our workplace than I was hoping for.

April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I think I was actually born on April 1st

Because my life is a fucking joke

A letter from Walmart

Dear Mrs. Samples:

Over the past six months, your husband, Royse Samples has been causing quite a commotion in our Lawton store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and, as a result, will ban your entire family from shopping in any of our stores if even one more incident occurs. We have ...

A man from northern Alaska is on trial…

The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, “Where were you in the night from October to April?”

What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello

My colleagues took April Fools Day pretty seriously this year

Over a month and a half of going into the office and they're all still hiding from me

People always ask me why I celebrate 420 a second time at april 22nd

I just thought, 422 is 420 too

Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May

The Mongolians are afraid that the Queen will still be alive on the 21st April 2026.

Because then she'll be a Hun dread.

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

I have joined reddit on april 1st

so I guess you can say

I'm the joke.

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

My birthday was in April, and 2020 made it a joke..

Same as my first cake day.

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

I once knew someone who was born on April 1st and died on April 1st...

...His entire life was one big joke.

Tee Pee a House on, April Fool's, 2020

Wouldn’t today, April Fool’s Day, 2020, be the best time to TeePee someone’s house?

The neighborhood will clean it up in four minutes.

Aprils fools

A mom comes home from work on aprils fools and the lil bro runs up to her screaming mom mom bro hanged himself in the bedroom, petrified she makes a run for the bedroom and its empty. Turns to her kid in relief telling him that this is not the apropriate joke, while he says aprils fooooools, hes han...

Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April

He simply forgot to say 2021.

We are not sure what April's disaster is...

It May not exist

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,

"Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

In honor of the eve of April Fools Day... just remember that tomorrow you need to be cautious of many tweets and news reports because most of them will be lies and simply there to try and trick you. Believe nothing, and trust no one.

Just treat it like it's any other day.

Have fun!

I have an April fools joke going on with my landlord

I am not paying rent this April 1st hehe, don't tell him

I think the Stimulus Package is a sick April Fools joke.

It’s a Stimu-LIE!!!

I just thought of the ultimate April Fool's Prank. Let me spell it out for you.

I T O U T F O R Y O U

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So it turns out my mom’s birthday, April 18, is national piñata day

She sure is gonna be surprised when we shove candy up her ass and beat the shit out of her!

What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines

April Fool’s Day has been POSTPONED.

I’ll tell you the new date tomorrow.

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

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