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April Jokes

Roses are red, April is grey, The next time you leave your house

It’s Gonna Be May
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professor: April, you are failing my class.

April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I’m sure we can fix this. I’ll do annnything to pass.

Professor: {gulp} anything?

April: YES! Anything you can dream up.

Professor: Will you…… study?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oh, April!

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and ...

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.
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Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?

They just finished a 31 day March.
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CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools

Just another day in the office.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

Don't forget that today is April Fools!

**APRIL FOOLS**!

Am I doing this right?
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Every year on April 15…

…the IRS pays its taxes to Chuck Norris
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What do I have in common with april fools?

Coming too soon.
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I got a picture of my girlfriend sleeping with another man, followed an hour later by a message saying "April Fools!"

I should stop falling for that, it's the fourth time this month.
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Did you know that the original Easter took place on April 1st?

That Jesus sure knew how to pull off a prank!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools
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April's fool's Is canceled This Year

No one has managed to come up with a prank that can match the unbelievable shit going on in the world right now...

What do you call pandas on April 1st?

Bamboo-zler!
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What do you call a mud pie on April 22?

An Earthday cake!

I'll see myself out.
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Why do Native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

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A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel thr...

What did they say to the first guy to pull off an April fools day prank?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!
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April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...
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It's a healthy relationship

My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deepthroat blowjob today.

"Really!" I exclaimed.

"No," She said, "April Foogargagggrraggggle."

That'll teach her to try and be funny...

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.
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Which monster loves April Fools jokes

Pranken-stein!
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April 5th national read a map day

Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards.

I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
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The best time to propose is on April 1st...

If they say no you can yell April fools!
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Aprils fools

A mom comes home from work on aprils fools and the lil bro runs up to her screaming mom mom bro hanged himself in the bedroom, petrified she makes a run for the bedroom and its empty. Turns to her kid in relief telling him that this is not the apropriate joke, while he says aprils fooooools, hes han...
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I once knew someone who was born on April 1st and died on April 1st...

...His entire life was one big joke.
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Pravda news from April 27th 1986

Glorious Soviet technology allowed workers at Chernobyl power plant to complete five year plan of power production in mere five milliseconds.
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April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father
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I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
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In April 2021, India was struggling with the coronavirus.

Prime Minister Modi was really concerned, and so he decided that it would be a great idea if he appointed a "Minister of Virus Control." He was considering many of the country's top doctors to fill the position, and eventually, he said that he would tell the public who he appointed on April 25th....
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April 4th National School Librarian Day

I asked the librarian if she would direct me to the self-help books.
She said, “that sort of defeats the purpose doesn’t it?”
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What comes after April?

Casey Jones
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April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
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If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring?

Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.
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I played an April Fool's joke on my parkour team this morning.

They all fell for it.
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Every year, my uncle comes to town and has his way with me on April 15th

And I'm like "Please, no, Uncle Sam! It hurts"

But my taxes have to be paid either way.
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I have joined reddit on april 1st

so I guess you can say

I'm the joke.
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Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.


April fools.
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A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day...

The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"

The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!"
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How many Seconds are in a year?

12!

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
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when it's april 2nd

and she still pregnant
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April Fools Day exists, YouTubers:

This is my last video
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Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"
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April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.
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What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is going through labor on April 1st

Her husband is driving her to the hospital and when they get to their room, he tells the doctor that he can’t watch up close but he asks if he can stand and watch outside the window. The doctor agrees.

As the baby comes out, the husband gets excited as he sees his new child. The doctor grabs ...

Tee Pee a House on, April Fool's, 2020

Wouldn’t today, April Fool’s Day, 2020, be the best time to TeePee someone’s house?

The neighborhood will clean it up in four minutes.
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We are not sure what April's disaster is...

It May not exist
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April 1 . . .

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?


Old Lady: I am 94 years old.


Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?


Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does May come after April?

Because that's when Parliament is *really* gonna fuck her.

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.
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April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.
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Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May
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What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy's mom comes home. "Billy, what's wrong?" -"Dad hanged himself in the attic!" he said in tears.

The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling.
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"

My colleagues took April Fools Day pretty seriously this year

Over a month and a half of going into the office and they're all still hiding from me
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April Fool’s Day has been POSTPONED.

I’ll tell you the new date tomorrow.
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Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April

He simply forgot to say 2021.
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Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
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Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”
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What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend?

April, fools
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What is the name of the musician who was born in the first of April?

Prank Sinatra
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April Fool's!

A woman goés into labor éarly and is rushéd to thé hospital. Aftér an agonizing night, shé finally givés birth, and thé doctor doés thé littlé pat on thé baby liké hé normally doés to stimulaté air flow. Thén hé tossés thé baby in thé air liké a pizza, and grabs it by thé légs and slams it into thé ...

The Longest Memory in the World

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the...
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What was the worst april fools day joke?

Well logan paul was born in 1995.
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A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...
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We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.
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People always ask me why I celebrate 420 a second time at april 22nd

I just thought, 422 is 420 too
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I have an April fools joke going on with my landlord

I am not paying rent this April 1st hehe, don't tell him
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Doctors have the most fun on April Fools.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."


Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."
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One day in April, three blondes died at the same time and found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

"All three of you have sinned your whole lives," said St. Peter. "Normally, I would send you straight to hell. But since it's near Easter, if you can tell me what Easter is, I will let you into heaven."

"I know what Easter is!" said the first blonde. "Easter is when you dress up as something ...
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Timmy's April Fool's joke

The day is April 1st, and Timmy wanted to play an April Fool's joke on his mom.
His mom comes home from work, and Timmy rushes to her.

"Mommy! Mommy!" He says, frantically.

"What is it, Timmy?" She asks.

"Dad hanged himself in the garage!"

The mom screams, then rushes...
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Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.
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