Roses are red, April is grey, The next time you leave your house

It’s Gonna Be May

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little April isn’t always the best in school...

Little April isn’t always the best in school, she’d always fall asleep in class, on their first day of school for the year, they started with a religion class. Near the start of the lesson, the teacher decided to ask little April a question.

‘April, who created this universe?’ To the rescue, ...

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.

Would February March?

No, but April May

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: My wife and I have been working from home since April, and I finally called her HR Department with a complaint.

There has been far less sexual harassment in our workplace than I was hoping for.

People always ask me why I celebrate 420 a second time at april 22nd

I just thought, 422 is 420 too

A man buys a train ticket to go to New York City...

A man buys a train ticket to go to New York City on April 4. The ticket costs $44 and he notices that the ticket number is 4444. He finds the train at platform 4 and his seat is in train car 4, seat number 44. The train leaves at exactly 4:44.

When he arrives, he goes to the hotel that is on ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

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One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What...

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A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

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Heard in court.

An elderly lady was on trial for murder and the judge asked the woman to reitrate what had happend.

“Well, I had been on a date with this man, yes even at my age, and I asked him in for a cup of coffee. As we sat on the couch he put his arm around me.” The lady answered.

“That seems al...

I have joined reddit on april 1st

so I guess you can say

I'm the joke.

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A woman is going through labor on April 1st

Her husband is driving her to the hospital and when they get to their room, he tells the doctor that he can’t watch up close but he asks if he can stand and watch outside the window. The doctor agrees.

As the baby comes out, the husband gets excited as he sees his new child. The doctor grabs ...

What comes after April?

Casey Jones

Aprils fools

A mom comes home from work on aprils fools and the lil bro runs up to her screaming mom mom bro hanged himself in the bedroom, petrified she makes a run for the bedroom and its empty. Turns to her kid in relief telling him that this is not the apropriate joke, while he says aprils fooooools, hes han...

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

I once knew someone who was born on April 1st and died on April 1st...

...His entire life was one big joke.

Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?

They just went through a grueling 31 day March.

A son asks what his father's favorite day is...

the father says, "April 19."

the son says, "Dad, my birthday is April **20"**

Why do native Americans hate the month April?

Because April showers bring may flowers..
and mayflowers bring the white people

My colleagues took April Fools Day pretty seriously this year

Over a month and a half of going into the office and they're all still hiding from me

My birthday was in April, and 2020 made it a joke..

Same as my first cake day.

Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April

He simply forgot to say 2021.

We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Tee Pee a House on, April Fool's, 2020

Wouldn’t today, April Fool’s Day, 2020, be the best time to TeePee someone’s house?

The neighborhood will clean it up in four minutes.

Year 2020 passed like a kid reciting the alphabet.

January — ABCD...


February — EFG...


March — HIJK...


April to December — ELEMENOP.

In honor of the eve of April Fools Day... just remember that tomorrow you need to be cautious of many tweets and news reports because most of them will be lies and simply there to try and trick you. Believe nothing, and trust no one.

Just treat it like it's any other day.



Have fun!

We are not sure what April's disaster is...

It May not exist

I have an April fools joke going on with my landlord

I am not paying rent this April 1st hehe, don't tell him

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My best April Fools

A long time ago, before work, I drove through the shittiest neighborhood I could find, looking for broken auto glass. I found a pile from some unfortunate soul that had their car broken into and scooped it all up.

After settling in at work, I asked to borrow my boss's keys for access to the s...

I just thought of the ultimate April Fool's Prank. Let me spell it out for you.

I T O U T F O R Y O U

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I'm hoping for a peaceful transition of power if Trump looses.

Just like Germany did in April 30, 1945.

A man visits a wise man and meets his three daughters...

He's staying for the night and each of the girls come to him in turn to offer their hospitality.

The first one tells him her name is June because she was born in June. She is well practiced in fortune telling and gives him advice on the future.

The second one tells him her name is Augu...

I think the Stimulus Package is a sick April Fools joke.

It’s a Stimu-LIE!!!

Surviving an attempted murder on April 1st.

Is just gods way of saying "April Fools"

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My wife offered me a blowjob today.

‘Really’ I said

‘No, April fooaarrrrglegargle’

That’ll teach her to be funny

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Stop alright! It's not No Nut November!

It's always Jack-off January, Fap February, Masturbate March, Abuse-yo-cock April, Maniacally beat-yo-meat May, Jizzy June, Jerk July, Abolish-yo-junk August, Seep-yo-seed September, Orgasmic October, Nut November, Destroy Dick December.

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

The Mongolians are afraid that the Queen will still be alive on the 21st April 2026.

Because then she'll be a Hun dread.

Little Johnny is sitting in class behind a girl named April

The teacher asks “who created the universe”
Little Johnny poked April with his pencil and April yelled “MY GOD”
the teacher replied with “ yes, god did create the universe”
Then the teacher asked another question “where do you go when you live a good life after you die”
Little Johnny pok...

April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can’t read so I’m relatively sure she didn’t find it here.

April Fool’s Day has been POSTPONED.

I’ll tell you the new date tomorrow.

Blond

So this blond gets a jigsaw puzzle for Christmas and she proudly posts in April "Hah I finished this in four months! The box said 2 - 4 years!!"

“After this is all over”

was a fun thing to say back in April

Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May

There was this little 9 year old blind kid, and one day he said to his mom, "Mom, All I've ever wanted was to see."

His mom said, "Well son it's your lucky day, today is the last day of March, and if you pray your hardest,your prayers will be answered."

So the little boy goes to bed 2 hours early and starts praying himself to sleep.

He wakes up half way through the night and realises that the night ...

A lady goes into labour and is rushed to the hospital

She is in labour for hours and the birth is excruciating but eventually the baby comes out. The doctor taps the baby's bottom to get it to cry but nothing happens. The doctor then uses a little more force and smacks the baby's bottom harder but still nothing. The mother is getting extremely worried....

Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”

April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

So it's April 2nd

And my wife's still pregnant...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy's mom comes home. "Billy, what's wrong?" -"Dad hanged himself in the attic!" he said in tears.

The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling.
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So it turns out my mom’s birthday, April 18, is national piñata day

She sure is gonna be surprised when we shove candy up her ass and beat the shit out of her!

What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools

Just another day in the office.

What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Condom packaging

Do you know why high schoolers buy condoms in 2 packs?
.
No?
.
For Friday night and Saturday night.

Do you now why college kids buy condoms in 4 packs?
.
No?
.
For Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday
.
.
Do you know why married men buy c...

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does May come after April?

Because that's when Parliament is *really* gonna fuck her.

Doctors have the most fun on April Fools.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."


Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

I've been to all of the local stores to buy Draino but it's sold out

Must be the after effect from everyone buying all that toilet paper back in April..

Why doesn’t April ever eat with the other months?

It starts off fool

What was the worst april fools day joke?

Well logan paul was born in 1995.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to be a father in April and remembered this classic:

A new machine had come out in the medicine field and a doctor was working with a pregnant couple that wanted to participate in the clinical trials.

"This machine," he says, "once hooked up to the mother will make it so she feels none of the pain, but the father will have to endure all of it."...

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.

The last time Easter fell on April Fool’s Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

As an April fools joke, I told my SO that I was pregnant...

...sadly she didn't fall for it.

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

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