Little Johnny is sitting in class behind a girl named April

The teacher asks “who created the universe”
Little Johnny poked April with his pencil and April yelled “MY GOD”
the teacher replied with “ yes, god did create the universe”
Then the teacher asked another question “where do you go when you live a good life after you die”
Little Johnny pok...

If April Showers bring May Flowers what do May Flowers bring?

Genocide.

The Mongolians are afraid that the Queen will still be alive on the 21st April 2026.

Because then she'll be a Hun dread.

Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”

You may have heard of No Nut November

But after I came twice in April what I’m really hoping for is a No Fetus February

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?

Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

Can February March?

No, but April May. Joke credited to some nice older gentleman at my work today

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I think I was actually born on April 1st

Because my life is a fucking joke

A woman successful gives birth to a baby after several hours of labour. The doctor takes the baby and leaves to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly behind to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against the wall.

The woman screams, "OH MY God! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY Baby!?" To which the doctor replies, " April fools! It was already dead!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually, she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted...

April Fools Day............

The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.

April Fools!

girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So it turns out my mom’s birthday, April 18, is national piñata day

She sure is gonna be surprised when we shove candy up her ass and beat the shit out of her!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can’t read so I’m relatively sure she didn’t find it here.

What’s green and comes in April?

Donatello

What's the worst part about April Fools?

Jokes without punchlines

What’s the only difference between Valentine’s Day and April fools?

I don’t get my hopes up when April fools comes around

Why do fewer people get asked out on dates after April?

Because no ones got confidence in May

CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools

Just another day in the office.

A joke I made on the spot to my piano teacher

Me: Hey, so by the way, I’m not going to be able to come to practice April 4th, I got a robotics meeting that day (I actually did have that, this wasn’t just added in for me to make the joke)

Piano teacher: Alright, no problem, let me just write that down.

Me, in a stroke of genius: I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does May come after April?

Because that's when Parliament is *really* gonna fuck her.

Doctors have the most fun on April Fools.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."


Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

Why doesn’t April ever eat with the other months?

It starts off fool

What was the worst april fools day joke?

Well logan paul was born in 1995.

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:



“Where were you on the night of October to April?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to be a father in April and remembered this classic:

A new machine had come out in the medicine field and a doctor was working with a pregnant couple that wanted to participate in the clinical trials.

"This machine," he says, "once hooked up to the mother will make it so she feels none of the pain, but the father will have to endure all of it."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandma in Court

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you please state your age?

**Little Old Lady:**
I am **94** years old.

**Defense Attorney:**
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of **April 1st?**

**Little Old Lady:**
There I was, sitting there in my s...

What did the first person to get "April Fooled" say?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

Q: Can February March?

*A: No. But April May!*

The Darkest Joke I Know

A boy is blind from the day he is born, Never knowing his mothers face never knowing colors and never knowing anything except what he can feel, smell, hear, or touch.

One night the boy is in his bedroom when his mother comes in and sits down on the bed beside him, she says "Sweetie I have som...

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.

I have no words to say how angry I am.

There are three people who die and go to heaven: a teacher, construction worker, and a lawyer

St. Peter greets them and says "Here's the thing: heaven is becoming overcrowded, so in order to get in, you have to answer the one question I give you correctly. If you don't, you go to hell."

The teacher decides to go first; she walks up to St. Peter, and asks "What is my question?"

...

So it's April 2nd

And my wife's still pregnant...

Little Johnny was 5 years old and born blind.

Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind. One evening as his mother puts him to bed she says to him, "Jonny, tomorrow is a very special day: if you pray extra hard tonight God will grant you the miracle of sight". Super excited, Jonny jumps back out of bed, clasps his hands together and begin to ...

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

Today is April Fools day so question everything and trust no one.

Basically...it's reddit day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Let us celebrate the birthday of Logan Paul!

april fools you piece of shit

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

I don’t care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman,

but April identifying as January is crossing the line.

The last time Easter fell on April Fool’s Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

As an April fools joke, I told my SO that I was pregnant...

...sadly she didn't fall for it.

This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.

Still no matches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy gets transferred to Norway through his job.

He’s pretty excited about it. He’s working his dream job, he’s young, he doesn’t have a wife or kids, he’s looking forward to the adventure. The town he gets transferred to is beautiful. It looks like a Christmas card! The people are so nice and welcoming. He loves this town. He’s there for almost a...

If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring?

Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.

Snow in April

Tommy and Ricky were looking out the window
“How could it still be snowing in April” Tommy asked

“I don’t know, but at least we have something in common with the black community now”, Ricky replied.

“What’s that”, Tommy’s asked

“We’re both tired of seeing white”

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

MOM! Dad hung himself in the attic.

April fools! He hung himself in the basement.

What is Mr. T’s favorite month?

April, fools.

James Bond is going to be played by a woman

As a woman, James Bond's name will be Fools, April Fools.

The worst day to be born

Okay so, imagine you were born on April first, the day that is a joke. Your life inside itself would be a joke and your birthday, too.








































...

"mom, dad, I have something important to tell you: I'm straight"

Parents: "You do realize we just assume you're straight until you tell us otherwise, yes?"

Child: "HA! Got you! April fools!"

April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

June bugs.

What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies.

A man comes home one night to find his blonde wife reading his personal journal.

“I can explain everything,” he begins. She interrupts him midsentence and exclaims, “You’re darn right you’ve got some explaining to do, and you can start with telling me who April, May, and June are!”

Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April....

....but that's fine, my life is already a joke.

Orange, apple, strawberry...

April foods!

April 1st Operation

(Doctor walks out of operation room. A man quickly reached the doctor.)

"How's my wife? How's my baby?"

"Well your wife is okay, but... Your baby... umm..."

(Man starts crying)

"APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHA! Jokes on you!" (laugh)

(Man starts laughing with the doctor.)
<...

April fool!

While at work, right in a quite important meeting of some sort, Rick's mobile phone rings. Anxious because he knows what might be the reason behind this call, he answers the phone, only to jump up some seconds later, breathlessly take his coat and hat, squeaking some excuses to his smiling boss, has...

We can always count on /r/jokes on April 1st...

for not making jokes like the rest of the subreddits.

Girlfriend to boyfriend

GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.

BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.

GF - April fools day!

BF - Mine was on 24th March

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