November Jokes - 65 Hilarious November Jokes

I told my wife I was taking part in No Nut November...

She said she was excited for me to see how she feels the other 11 months of the year.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was November 25th and the Indians on the reservation asked their new chief if it was going to be a cold winter.

Raised in the ways of the modern world, the chief had never been taught the old secrets and had no way of knowing whether the winter would be cold or mild.

To be on the safe side, he advised the tribe to collect wood and be prepared for a cold winter. A few days later, as a practical aft...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having too much can cause memory loss.

I read it on page 14 in a medical journal on the 14th November 2019 at 3.19pm

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

it’s November!

Now I can’t eat peanuts.

November is way spookier than October…

October just has candy and costumes. November is the time of year when cuts appear in my skin for no reason.

Vote wisely in November

HEAVEN AND HELL

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a...

Santa most definitely passed No Nut November

He only comes in December.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months......

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed!

Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad...

Wait until No Net December.

So, no nut November has been over for about a week...

About how long should it take for them to grow back?

Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?

It is probably the most anticlimactic month

I am really glad that No Nut November is over.

A whole month without cashews was rough.

Got a big decision to make in November...

Pumpkin or pecan pie for thanksgiving?

I've already failed No Nut November

I failed the first time at 1:37am, and the second time at 1:11am.

America failed No Nut November,

This election featured the two biggest nuts in recent US history.

John F Kennedy was just "John Kennedy" From May 29, 1917 To November 21, 1963

They only added the F after he died

What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?

"What were you doing the night between November and May?"

What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?

Nuttin'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm participating in No Nut November.

I just wish my wife would have told me that I was starting in September.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ...

... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.

It's November 10th 1823, Paris, France...

And 3 prisoners are to be executed on the public squared that day; An artist, a cook and an engineer. The artists walks up to the guillotine bows down and prays to god. The burrow releases the blade and it stops 10 centimeters above the artist's head. They try and try but the blade won't fall all th...

It’s No Nut November’s Muslim cousin time

Refrain Rub Ramadan

Who will survive no nut november the longest?

The people with a severe nut allergy

No-Nut November?

That’s called being married, kid.

I am not turning my clocks back in November.

I am not giving 2020 an extra hour’s worth of damage.

I'm like a November afternoon ...

Short, not very bright, and I finish too soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old Sven collapsed one chill November Saturday after chopping maple wood near his house in the birch forest, five miles outside of Eagle River, Wisconsin.

He arose, sauntered home and changed into his flannel, tractor-print pajamas. It grew quiet and his breathing became labored. So, Sven lay down on the plaid-quilted single bed in the green guest room. His wife, Lena, tended to his care. He said nothing and sipped only a cup of water or two. On the e...

No Nut November challenge is not gonna be a problem at all

It’s not hard at my age

What are you doing after November?

Nuttin’ much.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Due to the growing popularity of no nut november, its wave of abstience is spreading to other months

Such as: no july, no september and no dong december

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On November 9th...

Me: "I guess President Hillary Clinton is with VP Tim Kaine now. And both feeling pretty high. You could say she's ....co-Kaine! Hahah!"

Wife: "Trump won."

Me: "..."

I didn't fail No-Nut November...

I just finished the challenge 29 days early!

These no nut November memes

They’re really getting out of hand

How do crypto traders call no nut november?

HODL it

What did Freddie Mercury say when he was informed about No Nut November?

"Nutting really matters to me"

Why can’t you beat No Nut November?

Cuz if you beat it you lose.

You may have heard of No Nut November

But after I came twice in April what I’m really hoping for is a No Fetus February

I hate that it's already no nut November

I'm going to have to jack it a whole lot to keep my mind off of cashews...

Why is it difficult to follow no nut November ?

Well, it gets increasingly 'hard' as the days pass by.

The US government took No Shave November quite seriously

As soon as the calendar hit December 1st, Bush was gone.

Don’t bother having a party during No Nut November...

Nobody will be able to come

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is another name for No Nut November?

Virgin Pride Month

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear that Japan sent the US a case of on November 3?

They heard the US was having problems with its erection.

Never let your kids stay with the grandparents for too long

Someone asked my 6 year old what's his age?
He said : With God's will, I will be 7 in November.

Everyone hates my facial hair for No Shave November

But it’s growing on me

I threw a party to celebrate making it to week 4 of No Nut November

Nobody came

'No Nut November' was going pretty good for me until

someone played 'Beat it' by Michael Jackson.

Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in November?

Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

I, for one, found No Nut November to be quite a breeze

But then again, I am highly allergic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a million dollars in October, it's now mid-November and I'm broke.

I hate working at he Mint.

I've heard Dunkin Donuts is going to be the official sponsor of no nut November.

Their name will be Dunkin Nonuts for a month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember, there’s a simple mnemonic device to remember month length: “30 days hath September; April, June, and November. All the rest have 31,

Excepting February, who can off, son.
Pay the same bills but get less time
And guess if you get 28 or 29.”

My mom has a rule that no friends are allowed at our house in November because of holidays. (It makes no sense.)

But she has a friend that she decided that she'll let over in November. My mom told her "You're an exception. You can come any time in November." So I said "Very poor choice of words." and her friend started dying of laughter, but I got grounded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DIARY of a POMMIE EXPAT in AUSTRALIA

August 31

Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally...

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Thank you for your query. Your number is #204588. We have allotted a timeslot for you at 2-3pm on Tuesday the 28th of November, during which time you will be required to fill out and submit forms 32.B and 44.A from our catalogue. Once these forms have been processed by our team we will begin an inve...

Boys have a thing and girls don't.

One November afternoon when my daughter was in kindergarten, I picked her up after school. She bobbed out to the car and crawled into the back seat.

"What did you do today?" I asked.

She couldn't wait to tell me. "We learned that boys are different from girls" she chirped.

Looki...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate that SEPTember, OCTOber, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Whoever fucked this up should get stabbed.

However, if I recall, they did use to be the corresponding months. It was just that when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came to power, the months of July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the number on the calendar....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade...

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me
Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who
had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by
t...

Stopped shaving for November, at first I hated the mustache, but what can I say?

It's grown on me.

What did King Arthur say when his wife asked if he failed No Nut November?

"Yeah, I Camelot"

Green Day released a new politically fuelled single today called "Wake Me Up When November Ends"

T___T

My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year!

Me in August, and her in November.

When I started no shave November I thought I would be excited to shave again in December, but now I don't want to cut my beard at all.

I think it's grown on me.

Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.