51 Jokes - 62 Hilarious 51 Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We should send sex offenders to storm Area 51

Alien Vs Predator

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We’ll take the aliens, you get the predators

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Veg...

I am 51 and my girlfriend is 8

Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

I M LIVID

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base ...

09:51 Arrive at the crime scene.

09:51 Find murder victim.

09:51 Cordon off the area.

09:51 Start searching for murder weapon.

09:51 Realise watch has stopped.

51/17 = 3

Odd. Very odd.

Whats the difference between Capitol and Area 51 raid?

People were not stupid enough to actually go inside of Area 51.

Guys I m sneaking into Area 51

They didn't see m...

The Geography of a Woman:

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile, and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like the USA. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, r...

Hey girl are you Area 51?

Cause the government will shoot me for trying to get inside you forcefully

A basketball team is created in Area 51 and for the inaugural match they decide to play against the Vatican.

How do they call the event? Aliens vs Predators

Old farmer Joe just uses all his savings to buy 51 sheep...

To pass the season he plans to reproduce the 50 female sheep he bought with one ram doing the work.

To his misfortune the ram dies suddenly just after he got it. He goes to complain to his neighbor Bob about his problems and Bob, who also was a farmer, told him he had to do the job him...

Congratulations America. 51 years ago you landed on the moon!!!

Now you can’t even go to Canada.

We stormed Area 51 and found an alien

He’s name is Juan, they found him at the border.

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, who were attending a writing convention, booked a 3 bedroom suite on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, "I'm terribly sorry, but all the elevators are broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs."

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does my alien girlfriend from area 51 have a Penis?

Something inside me says yes

All these people posting about invading Area 51..

All they need to do is change the “restricted area” signs to “now hiring” and “now recruiting” and it’ll lower the numbers by at least half.

My fortune teller is such a fraud, said my dad would live a long life but he died at 51

I wish my dad could live longer like our chef who completed 73 years yesterday.

I think the Area 51 raid is just stupid.

How do we not know the government won't just relocate them aliens before the 20th?

People keep talking about how they’re going to raid Area 51

Don’t they know that Donald Trump is moving all the aliens to Mexico?

Why do spiders hate Area 51?

It's a no-fly zone.

In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place???

Extra terrestrials

I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.

I’m now the main stake holder.

Jokes on us when the “Storm Area 51” event...

turns out to be a timeshare presentation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They should just let sex offenders raid Area 51...

So that way it would be a real depiction of 'Aliens vs Predators'.

If I won the $51 million powerball jackpot, I’d give a quarter to charity.

Not sure what I would do with the other $50,999,999.75 though...

Can you imagine Netflix making a TV show about storming Area 51?

But then again, Stranger Things has happened

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I lent my deck of cards to an this idiot I work with, and he gave me only 51 back.

He was a jack-off.

Donald Trump heard about the Area 51 raid today and he said he wants to go.

He said, "if there are illegal aliens there I want to find them and send them back to their own planet."

I think now that we've meemed and raided area 51, we should also raid the Vatican so we can compare...

We could call it Aliens vs Predators

51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...

With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.

What if we tell the flat earthers that the answers they are looking for are in Area 51

Then that way we get to watch people storm Area 51 and no one dies that anyone cares about!

A guy looking to become a bee farmer went to a seasoned Apiarist and asked if he could buy some bees off him to start up a hive. The Apiarist said he had plenty to spare and was having a sale for 50 bees for $50...

The man bought the bees, went home and began putting the bees into the empty hive; he counted each one to make sure he got his moneys worth but by the end of the gruelling task he realized he had not 50 but 51 bees. He called the seasoned Apiarist and asked why he was given 51 bees when the sale was...

Floyd Mayweather's true record is 51-0...

They forgot to count the 3 times he beat his wife.

I have a feeling that quite a few people are getting "probed" over at Area 51 this weekend.

And its not by aliens.

Which government organization is involved with protecting Area 51?

The C.I.ayy

Some might doubt that TV shows inspired hundreds of thousands of people to raid Area 51 looking for supernatural beings

but I've seen stranger things

I heard Martin Shkreli is sentenced to 7 years in prison, although originally he was going to serve 51 days

they raised it 5000%

A recent study shows that 51.9% of the UK are under educated.

It was called the EU referendum.

Ole, Sven, and Nels came into the bar.

They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort.

"Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued.

They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked.
...

The key to a successful marriage is patience

I've been waiting 51 years for a successful one

After the Russian election Putin meets with his staff

Staff: “Sir Comrade Vlad, we have got good news and bad news for you.”

Putin: “I’m not scared of bad news, I’ve wrestled bears, tigers and a small rhino with my bare Russian hands. Hit me!”

Staff: “Your opponent got 51% of the votes.”

Putin: “That is terrible news! What on earth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] After area 51 raid, Joe drugged and took an alien to his home. When the drug worn off, Joe saw the alien walking towards him with a massive boner and he asked Joe in perfect English with a seducing voice "Who are you, sexy thing"?

Joe replied... Sapien.. No homo

A woman with a 69 inch waist goes to the doctor (Calculator Joke)

A woman went to the doctor.

He measured a waist of 69 inches (type into calculator).

He said that that was too, too, too, much (type 222).

And gave her 51 pills (type 51).

But she took 8 times that my (type x8)

Do you know what happened? She became...(Hit = and fli...

How many Republican does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve to investigate Obama’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.

A group of blondes walk into a bar

They immediately start to set up what looks like a big celebration; they order numerous pitchers of beer, then push tables together, one of them even hangs a big banner over it. As they're celebrating, the bartender notices that the banner says **"51 DAYS!"**

Curious, he walks over to the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ant

1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants
2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = Important
3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant
4. Ant that is looking for a job = Applicant
5. A spy ant = Informant
6. A very little ant = Infant
7. An ant that uses a gun = Militant
8. ...

What would you hear at a very long opera about aliens?

Aria 51.

Did ya know that Oreo had a secret base in Nevada?

It's called Oreo 51

48, 49, and 50 were in a race...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pragmatic wife

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, "Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a 13 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice hou...

I told my girlfriend I liked her company. She didn't think "like" was a strong enough word.

So I bought 51% of her shares.

What happened to the beef between 50 Cent and Ja Rule?

how many englishmen does it take to screw up a country?

about 51%

What Reddit taught me...

If I'm doing that too much, I should do it again after 51 seconds.

I’ve always wanted to know how many pounds it would take to crush a man’s chest and after an accident at work yesterday I finally got my answer.

£51,839

Did you hear about the 50 plus year old Sci Fi fan with big nipples?

Areola 51

10 Blondes and a Puzzle Box

One blonde walked into a tavern one day and asked for a table that will sit 10 and a for a pint. She received her beer and a table that would sit 10. Later 2 more blondes walked in and ask for a pint a piece and sat by the blonde from before. More and more blondes came in until 9 sat at the table....

When I have a headache, I take an Advil and follow the instructions on the bottle:

"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

(based on Kauffman, G. and Blakeley M. eds. 1980. Pulling Our Own Strings. Page 51)

When I go from dictionary to urban dictionary.

*Discussion about Discord server raids...*

Friend: define raid

Me: hundreds of bot accounts spamming the server.

Friend: define area 51 raid

Me: millions of incels running out of breathe to their death.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.