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Zones Jokes

Putin decreed that all time zones in Russia be unified.

After this had occurred, the Prime Minister approached him.

*"Dearest Putin, I had a problem. I called my relatives in the east to wish them good night, and they told me they were on the beach enjoying the sun."*

*"And then I called my family in Kaliningrad to wish them a happy holiday...

I don't understand time zones!

How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?

Russian prime minister Medvedev comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
<...

Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe

and 1954 in america

There's so much controversy surrounding school zones

I swear, I see a sign saying "end school zone" in every single one.

Russia has 11 time zones...

North Korea has only one...

Kim Zone

Time zones are amazing

It's a different time all around the world. For example in some parts of the US it's still 1950

Trump made an effort to list certain areas as "no-fly" zones.

Looks like he missed Pence's head.

Time zones are weird - Australia is in 2020. America is in 2019..

Des Moines is in 1998, Alabama in 1865, Saudi Arabia 1576.

Time zones are crazy

On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S. is still stuck in 1940.

If you are a man, don't visit nuclear disaster zones.

Because chernobyl fallout.

Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone

So, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone is a police-free area surrounded by police.

Does that make it a doughnut hole?

I was told to get out of my comfort zone

So I started driving on the other side of the road

Not only I’m I uncomfortable, but so is everybody else

Samoa is in 2 time zones

Some of those people are living in the past

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The average male ejaculation occurs at 28 Miles per hour

Which makes it illegal in school zones

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Say what you will against pedophiles, but at least...

they drive slowly in school zones.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Naked and Afraid is a fun show because you get to watch the participants removed from their comfort zones and they try and get something edible within the allotted time in order to survive a harsh environment that will punish them for every failure.

Incidentally, that is also why I watch Chopped.

A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”

The wife gets up slowly looking startled but slightly excited. She wanders into the kitchen and comes back quickly with a beer and some food for her husband.

The man gulps down the beer and looks back to his wife “quick!” He says “get me another beer before it starts!” The man goes back to fl...

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