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Whilst having sex I suddenly stopped & didn't move

Wife said 'What are you doing?"

I said I've seen this online it's called buffering

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[Long] Bruce Buffer invites Joe Rogan and Dana White over for dinner...

On their way to Bruce’s house, Dana says “Joe, you’re gonna fuckin’ love Bruce’s cooking. This guy is the best, he could start his own restaurant. But hey, I’ve got to warn you - *do not* ask him how he cooks the food.”

Joe agrees, but thinks to himself *Well fuck, now I really wanna know...*...

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Porn buffering is their way to tell you...

"We did not think you would last beyond this point"

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My wife has been watching porn to learn new ways to spice up our sex life.

The other night she laid down in bed and remained completely motionless while we made love. I asked what she was doing. She said “it’s called ‘buffering’ honey”.

A man told his wife he wanted to try out something new in bed that he had seen on the internet.

They started making love as normal, then all of a sudden he froze and stayed perfectly still.

His wife asked him what the hell he was doing.

The man replied, "Apparently it's called buffering."

Russia is merely a buffer state.

If it was not for the peaceful landmass, North Korea and Norway would be at each other's throats.

My Chemistry Professor told me that Hydrofluoric acid and Hydrochloric acid are the perfect buffer system.

Her accusations are baseless.

Why is the pH of youtube so stable?

It constantly buffers.

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I asked my wife to go online and watch some porn to get some ideas for the bedroom.

Next time we made love, she laid there motionless. I asked her "what are you doing?". She replied, I saw this online, it's called "buffering".

What does a video of a Food Buffet being set up, look like?

I dont know yet, its still Buffering

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While having sex ...

While having sex he suddenly stops and completely freezes.

"Whats wrong honey?", she asks.

He replies:"I've seen them do this in porn, its called buffering."

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A bit of history

In the Victorian era the rich people drank tea from bone china cups while the poorer classes had to use earthen-ware mugs. Bone china can stand the shock of having boiling water poured directly into it but earthen-ware can't. So the upper classes would pour their teas and then add the milk but the l...

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[NSFW] a man and a woman are having sex

A man and a woman are having sex and suddenly he stops moving and after a minute he continues. The woman asks "Honey, what was that?" The man explains: "This is a new technique I learned on the Internet: it's called buffering."

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I was having sex with my girlfriend, and thought I'd try something new

so I stopped and completely froze in motion. She asked me "What the hell are you doing?" I said " a move I saw on pornhub.. it's called buffering"

Man: Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!

Friend: OMG is she okay??

Man: Well she may need some buffering and new coat of paint but she should be alright.

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My new girlfriend and I were having our first tryst...

In the middle, I stopped completely. She looks at me and asked what the hell I'm doing?

I looked at her and said it's a trick I recently learned. "It's called 'buffering' and all the chicks in the porn video I was watching seemed to LOVE it"

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My blonde girlfriend froze

In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".

What do you call a puffer fish which takes a long time to inflate?

A Buffer fish

The janitor couldn't remember where he put the floor polisher

As a programmer, this isn't the first time I encountered a 'buffer allocation failure due to memory error'

Why are chemistry labs a good workout?

Because they make you Buffer.

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A very beautiful blonde woman meets a nice young man

A very beautiful blonde woman meets a nice young man and, after a while, they end up in her house and they start having sex. They're having fun, doing it in different position, and during one of the good moments the woman freezes for a few seconds and then continues. After a while the same thing hap...

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Porn

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when I suddenly stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.
She said "What's up"?
I said "Nothing, it's something that I picked up watching internet porn, it's called Buffering"

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While having sex with my girlfriend

I whispered in her ear, “Can I try something new?”

She asked, “what is that?”

“Just something I saw on a porno.” I replied

Amazingly she agreed.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
“Well, are you going to try this new thing, or just sit there?!” She resp...

Why did the jar of weak acid go to the gym.

To become a buffer solution

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A giffer dies and goes is sent to Reddit Hell...

A giffer dies and is sent to Reddit Hell. He's bored and miserable, so he decides to take action. The submit button has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Content starts getting created quickly. The upvote button is jammed, so he un-jams it. People can support content more easily. The gifs...

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New sex technique

A man and his wife are in bed and things start to heat up. After a little bit of foreplay the man suddenly stops. His wife asks "What's wrong? Is it me?" The man replies " No I learned this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a cold war...

5, 6, 7, 8 loser is a buffer state.

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What's the worst thing about sex?

Buffering.

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Sometimes I stop suddenly when I have sex with my girlfriend.

She asks, "Why did you stop?"

I reply, "Oh, it's something I learned in porn. It's called buffering."

A boy is at a spelling bee.

Judge: "Your word is 'buffering'."

Boy: "Let me know when it's loaded."

Judge: "It's not 'loaded'. It's 'buffering'."

Boy: "No problem, just tell me when..."

Judge: "Buffering!"

Boy: "Oh, OK..."

Judge: "No, it's actually B-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G."

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Frank and his wife are having sex

All of a sudden, Frank stops and remains completely motionless. His wife exclaims: "Frank, what the hell are you doing?". Frank replies: "Oh, it's just something I saw on a porn site...it's called 'buffering'..."

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How to spice things up

A man and his wife are having a lot of trouble when it comes to being creative in bed. The wife begins to become fed up with the same old boring routine sex so the husband decides to do his research. The next night, the husband is feeling good about himself and tells his wife that he has something b...

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity,

especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me insane, Tyrone.”
One day Tyrone’s mom came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her...

Why do chemists go to the gym so much?

Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!

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An Old couple is having sex..

Right in the middle of it, as the old woman is moaning and twitching, the old man stops suddenly and remains motionless for a good 20 seconds. Then he continues from where left off.

Another minute later, he does the same thing. This goes on for a few more times, till finally the old woman h...

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A husband and wife come home one night and decide to make love...

They go to the bedroom, take each others clothes off, and start to get it on. Things were starting to get hot and heavy, the husband suddenly freezes in place. The wife said "Honey, what the fuck are you doing?". The husband replied "I wanted to try this technique I saw in a porno one time, it's cal...

How I feel when watching youtube...

I dont mind the buffer ...

I dont mind the adds...


But when the ads buffer...




I suffer

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Virgin has sex for the first time.

A virgin is having sex for the first time. The woman he likes agreed so they went into the bedroom to have sex. The virgin was very nervous because he doesn't know how to get started. The woman said to the virgin "It's okay, I'll show you what to do." So the woman lays down on her back, pulling ...

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During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless..

..

Girl: What the heck are you doing??

Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called "buffering"

So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ...

Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke.

(NSFW) Computer tech humor

A computer technician was boasting about the size of his hard drive and how much RAM he had. A female colleague said that she had three user friendly ports and some of best port knockers around.

The female technician suggested that perhaps they should combine their equipment and connect his h...

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Another Santa-Banta Joke

During sex ,Santa suddenly stops & remains motionless....

Wife: What the hell are you doing?

Santa: I have seen this on youtube... Its called BUFFERING

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