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Buffer Jokes

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[Long] Bruce Buffer invites Joe Rogan and Dana White over for dinner...

On their way to Bruce’s house, Dana says “Joe, you’re gonna fuckin’ love Bruce’s cooking. This guy is the best, he could start his own restaurant. But hey, I’ve got to warn you - *do not* ask him how he cooks the food.”

Joe agrees, but thinks to himself *Well fuck, now I really wanna know...*...

What’s Bruce Buffer’s favourite herb?

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s THYME

What's the secret ingredient in Bruce Buffer's spaghetti sauce?

iiiiiiit's Thyme!!!

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Porn buffering is their way to tell you...

"We did not think you would last beyond this point"

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During sex with my wife,

I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She said "What the hell are you doing?"


And I was like "Hush, I saw this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

My Chemistry Professor told me that Hydrofluoric acid and Hydrochloric acid are the perfect buffer system.

Her accusations are baseless.

Why is the pH of youtube so stable?

It constantly buffers.

Why did the acid go to the Gym ?

To become buffer solution

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My blonde girlfriend froze

In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".

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New Style

Man: *Stops having sex.*

Woman: What are you doing?

Man: I saw this in a porn video once. It's called buffering.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend, and thought I'd try something new

so I stopped and completely froze in motion. She asked me "What the hell are you doing?" I said " a move I saw on pornhub.. it's called buffering"

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Dave and his missus were going for it one night when Dave suddenly froze for 5 seconds

‘What was that all about?’ asked Dave’s wife

‘It’s something I saw on Pornhub. It’s called buffering’.

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What does Mark Zuckerberg call his wife during sex?

Buffering…

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I spent my adolescence watching porn on dial up.

Now I have a fetish for buffering.

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Sometimes I stop suddenly when I have sex with my girlfriend.

She asks, "Why did you stop?"

I reply, "Oh, it's something I learned in porn. It's called buffering."

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What's the worst thing about sex?

Buffering.

I asked my grandpa why it takes him so long to pee. He said

The stream is buffering.

A biologist, a chemist, and a mathematician are looking at a glass of water, half filled.

The biologist says the cell count is too low.

The chemist says this solution needs to be buffered.

The mathematician says the coffee is very weak.

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A man was having sex with his wife and stops suddenly...

A man was having sex with his wife and stops suddenly, then continues again after a minute or so. He did this a few times.

His wife getting frustrated asked him what was he doing. He replied, you silly you don't know anything, I have seen this in porn. Its called buffering...

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Frank and his wife are having sex

All of a sudden, Frank stops and remains completely motionless. His wife exclaims: "Frank, what the hell are you doing?". Frank replies: "Oh, it's just something I saw on a porn site...it's called 'buffering'..."

How I feel when watching youtube...

I dont mind the buffer ...

I dont mind the adds...


But when the ads buffer...




I suffer

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While having sex ...

While having sex he suddenly stops and completely freezes.

"Whats wrong honey?", she asks.

He replies:"I've seen them do this in porn, its called buffering."

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New sex technique

A man and his wife are in bed and things start to heat up. After a little bit of foreplay the man suddenly stops. His wife asks "What's wrong? Is it me?" The man replies " No I learned this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

A man told his wife he wanted to try out something new in bed that he had seen on the internet.

They started making love as normal, then all of a sudden he froze and stayed perfectly still.

His wife asked him what the hell he was doing.

The man replied, "Apparently it's called buffering."

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My wife has been watching porn to learn new ways to spice up our sex life.

The other night she laid down in bed and remained completely motionless while we made love. I asked what she was doing. She said “it’s called ‘buffering’ honey”.

What do you call a puffer fish which takes a long time to inflate?

A Buffer fish

What does a video of a Food Buffet being set up, look like?

I dont know yet, its still Buffering

The janitor couldn't remember where he put the floor polisher

As a programmer, this isn't the first time I encountered a 'buffer allocation failure due to memory error'

Why are chemistry labs a good workout?

Because they make you Buffer.

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I asked my wife to go online and watch some porn to get some ideas for the bedroom.

Next time we made love, she laid there motionless. I asked her "what are you doing?". She replied, I saw this online, it's called "buffering".

1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a cold war...

5, 6, 7, 8 loser is a buffer state.

Man: Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!

Friend: OMG is she okay??

Man: Well she may need some buffering and new coat of paint but she should be alright.

Why do chemists go to the gym so much?

Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!

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Porn

I was having sex the other day, banging away, when I suddenly stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.
She said "What's up"?
I said "Nothing, it's something that I picked up watching internet porn, it's called Buffering"

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How to spice things up

A man and his wife are having a lot of trouble when it comes to being creative in bed. The wife begins to become fed up with the same old boring routine sex so the husband decides to do his research. The next night, the husband is feeling good about himself and tells his wife that he has something b...

So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ...

Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke.

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A bit of history

In the Victorian era the rich people drank tea from bone china cups while the poorer classes had to use earthen-ware mugs. Bone china can stand the shock of having boiling water poured directly into it but earthen-ware can't. So the upper classes would pour their teas and then add the milk but the l...

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A husband and wife come home one night and decide to make love...

They go to the bedroom, take each others clothes off, and start to get it on. Things were starting to get hot and heavy, the husband suddenly freezes in place. The wife said "Honey, what the fuck are you doing?". The husband replied "I wanted to try this technique I saw in a porno one time, it's cal...

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During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless..

..

Girl: What the heck are you doing??

Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called "buffering"

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An Old couple is having sex..

Right in the middle of it, as the old woman is moaning and twitching, the old man stops suddenly and remains motionless for a good 20 seconds. Then he continues from where left off.

Another minute later, he does the same thing. This goes on for a few more times, till finally the old woman h...

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Another Santa-Banta Joke

During sex ,Santa suddenly stops & remains motionless....

Wife: What the hell are you doing?

Santa: I have seen this on youtube... Its called BUFFERING

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A giffer dies and goes is sent to Reddit Hell...

A giffer dies and is sent to Reddit Hell. He's bored and miserable, so he decides to take action. The submit button has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Content starts getting created quickly. The upvote button is jammed, so he un-jams it. People can support content more easily. The gifs...

(NSFW) Computer tech humor

A computer technician was boasting about the size of his hard drive and how much RAM he had. A female colleague said that she had three user friendly ports and some of best port knockers around.

The female technician suggested that perhaps they should combine their equipment and connect his h...

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Virgin has sex for the first time.

A virgin is having sex for the first time. The woman he likes agreed so they went into the bedroom to have sex. The virgin was very nervous because he doesn't know how to get started. The woman said to the virgin "It's okay, I'll show you what to do." So the woman lays down on her back, pulling ...

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity,

especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me insane, Tyrone.”
One day Tyrone’s mom came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her...

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

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