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Areas Jokes

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Having some areas in pandemic lock down and others not in lock down is like...

trying to organize the section in a swimming pool.

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

Why was the narrow strip of land with sea on either side, forming a link between two larger areas of land so happy?

It was a merry isthmus!

Ever notice how Washington D.C. rarely has a significant snowfall compared to the surrounding areas?

It must have to do with all the hot air coming from the Capitol/Capital.

During a marriage preparation class, the teacher asked how many kissable areas there are on a woman's body

One guy said, "18."

A French guy in the back yelled, "119!"

Another guy said, "12."

The French guy piped up again, "119!"

A sweet girl in the front said, "I know only one...the lips!"

The French guy shouted, "120!"

Did you know that chicken strips are a new form of currency in some areas?

They’re considered legal “tender”

Trump made an effort to list certain areas as "no-fly" zones.

Looks like he missed Pence's head.

I am pretty good at almost all areas of Math

But graphing is where I draw the line

The CDC recommends you disinfect the areas you touch most.

I don’t recommend it because it does burn.

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Two Beggars in London. ()

Two beggars in London

Ali and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of London ...

Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects ÂŁ2 to ÂŁ3 every day.

Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of ÂŁ10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot ...

I run a dating service for lower income areas in The UK

It's how I make ends meet

A farmer man had never left his area

So, he decides to take a week vacation on the nearest big city.



When he comes back, his fellow farmers, start asking how it was and what did he thought of the big city and he answers that he was very impressed by the very big buildings, the huge amount of people and cars all buzzing ...

Did you know that in malaria ridden areas, muslims are not required to remove shoes when entering their praying buildings?

Mosque-y toe control is essential.

The Thane Of Cawdor’s (Scottish equiv. Of Earl) castle is protected by high stone walls. The weak point is the old wooden drawbridge, which is showing the first small signs of rot in some areas.

The smartest men in the castle assemble to advise the king, but all of their solutions involve paying for a brand new drawbridge, which the Scottish Thane is not a fan of.

“Oh, the cost!” He cried, “isn’t there anyone in the kingdom who has a better, cheaper idea for protecting the wood of ...

The world is full of grey areas.

I don't know how you can get any more black and white than that.

A person has been infected by a disease that has made him unable to see well in dimly lit areas with his right eye.

The doctor proposes he receives a rod transplant in his right eye immediately and tells the surgeons.

Directly after the surgery, the patient asks the doctor, ‘Doctor, the surgery didn’t work, I am now unable to see anything and I even set off metal detectors accidentally.’

The doctor ...

I heard Anheuser Busch is sending 9 truckloads of canned water to the areas affected by Hurricane Matthew.

Who knew there was such a demand for Bud Light after a disaster?

What marker is only sold in shady areas?

Mr. Sketch.

Rednecks can't describe large areas as expansive...

Listeners will just wonder why they paid so much for it.

Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.





I'll show myself out

Is your name Area Fifty-One?

Because I wanna storm your private areas
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