UPJOKE
takeremovetake awaywithdrawunclotheundresspeeldiveststripteasecleanbandbaredeprivedisrobestrip down

A Möbius strip walks into a bar, sobbing.

The bartender asks, “What’s wrong, buddy?”
The Möbius strip replies, “Where do I even begin?”

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A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
...

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Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blond woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice

She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that, she strips down, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice come to a stop she jumps up and down and squeals, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”

She hugs each of the de...

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A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, ....

... they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed.
The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free.
He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to take a 20 minute na...

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A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens t...

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A wife takes her husband to a strip club for their 20th anniversary

At the entrance, the guard says to the husband, "Hey Simon, how's it going?"
The woman asks her husband how he knows you, the husband answers from the gym.
They enter and sit at the bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey Simon, the usual?".
The husband turns to his wife tensely saying, we pla...

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What does a stripper do to her asshole before going to work?

Drops him off at band practice.

I went through airport security and the alarm went off

The TSA agent asked if I had any metal on me.

I said hell yeah I do, pulled out a Metallica CD and slammed it on the table.

I was detained and strip searched but it was worth it.

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A man goes to a bank every wednesday to deposit hundreds of thousands

He comes in with a big bag of money, every wednesday and deposits large amounts of money. The manager gets suspicious after a while and when the next wednesday comes, approaches the man:

-Good morning and welcome sir, you must be one the richest customers of our bank. We are thankful for choo...

I used to enjoy the Snoopy & Charlie Brown comic strips in the Sunday papers, but lately I've been getting a rash after reading them.

I think I've developed an allergy to Peanuts.

A molecule tells another:

“A free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them!”

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A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because they have teeth...

A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because "They have teeth!" One day when he's older he starts seeing a lovely girl who he begins to fall in love with. Things are going great, but she starts to feel frustrated at his lack of sexual progression with her. F...

"Alexa where's my dad?"

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas

"Ha gottcha Alexa my dad is sitting right next to me"

Your mom's husband is sitting right next to you. Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas

" ... "

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Nuns are painting the chapel on a hot summer day.

Nuns are performing a much-needed renovation on the chapel. Today they paint... and the AC isn't working great (that's getting fixed tomorrow). It's a sweltering hot summer day, so they decide that since they're all sisters in Christ, they'll just lock the doors and strip of their gowns and other cl...

I need a power strip to plug stuff into.

Should I go an Outlet Mall?

Why did the pasta maker go to the strip club?

Because he was feeling cannelloni

I'm so fat, that when I went through airport security they didn't strip search me...

They burlesque searched me.

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

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A woman sits in a gynecologist's office

She's getting her exam done. The doctor looks up at her and says, "Uh, Mrs. Johnson? Everything looks perfect, but I've got to tell you you have an extremely large vagina."

The woman gets all pissed off, she's offended as hell. The whole way home, she's driving home thinking *'Damn doctor, he...

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Got thrown out of a strip club once

Didn’t know I wasn’t supposed throw quarters at the strippers

What do you get when you cross KFC with a gentlemen's club?

Chicken strips!

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Guy dies and goes to Heaven and God grants him a final wish. He tells God, "I've never won in Vegas." God winks and says, "Okay! Let's go." And God snaps his fingers and - poof! - God and the guy are at a blackjack table at Bellagio Casino on the Strip.

God gives the guy $100,000 in chips and says, "Bet it all." The guy shrugs and puts up all the chips and the dealer deals him an 19 - against the dealer's 6. God says, "Take a card." The guy says, "Hit a 19 against a bad hand?"

Gods insists. "Take a card." The dealer deals him a 2. The guy sa...

Joke a kid told me today: Why did the rooster go to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip

Cold

A man woke up early and kissed his wife good morning and goodbye. He made a thermos of coffee and a thermos of hot soup as his car warmed up in the driveway. He packed his fishing gear and proceeded to drive out to the lake for some ice fishing.

As he drove down the road he realized ...

Diversity is good for the workplace

For instance, she is the best dancer at our local strip joint.

A lady walked into a tattoo parlor...

'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist.

'Why of course!'

'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.'

'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get up on the...

Why was the narrow strip of land with sea on either side, forming a link between two larger areas of land so happy?

It was a merry isthmus!

Bad boy and good girl (long)

So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. After constantly asking her, she finally agrees to go out with him. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. He wants ...

Walking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.....

Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you
doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree."

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

"Well, OK..." So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against ...

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Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino.

She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said,

\- "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped...

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On the wedding night...

A man is about to be wed in the next day and is bicycling. He slips and his junk is mangled...utterly mangled...by the bicycle fall. He goes to the doctor and says "Am I going to be alright to consummate the wedding tomorrow night?"
The doctor shakes his head sadly and says "the only way we can f...

What will you see if you visit a haunted strip club?

BOOOOOOBIES

Why do pirates love strip clubs?

Because they love seeing booty

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Priest, nun, camel, laugh.

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.

After several days of not being r...

Ya know why they put rumble strips on the side of roads?

It's braille. So that the blind can see where they're driving.

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Two Nuns are tasked with painting a room.

Two nuns are tasked with painting a bedroom. They are concerned about getting paint all over their outfits, so they lock themselves inside and strip out of them and begin painting in their underwear. All is going well until there is a knock at the door. “Who is it?” They ask. “Blind man,” is the rep...

My dad said 'Son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn't.

So i went in and he was right.





I saw my dad.

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The Hawaii Special

Two guys are talking.
“Hey, did you know about the Hawaii special at the strip club?”.
“”No?”.
“It’s sooo good. One of the dancers gets naughty with you, and once you get hard, she slips a pineapple slice on your penis and eats it.”.
“Sounds great, I’m gonna try next weekend!”.

N...

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Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....

visits a modern art exhibition. "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."

"Ah-h… And what i...

A redneck is hiking through the woods with two Native Americans

A redneck is hiking through the woods with two Native Americans. They happen across a cave. one of the Natives yells, "Whoop! Whoop!"

Another voice calls from the cave. "Whoop! Whoop!"

The man strips naked and runs into the cave.

"What was all that about?" The redneck asks...

As Jack was marrying Jill, his father gave him some advice “Son, when I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was strip her naked, take off my pants...

Then, I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' ...Ever since that day, son...

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2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other...

The Irish Smuggler

There was a man who would cycle across the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland every single day without fail carrying nothing but the clothes on his back.
The border guards stopped him every day, patted him down, searched his bike, deep thorough searches and never found ...

Why do women like roofers?

Because they strip em and nail em all day long

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A prostitute goes to see a gynecologist with severe stomach pains....

After she had stripped off and the doctor had examined her, he said "The issue is with your aviaries". She said "Don't you mean ovaries doctor?" He replied "No, there's been a cockatoo in there!"

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Eyes on the prize

It was a slow night at the Casino, just a few regulars playing the slots…

Two bored dealers were standing at the "mini-craps" table when out of nowhere, an incredibly attractive blonde woman from South Alabama placed a $5,000 bet on a single roll of the dice.
With a deep southern drawl, ...

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A man with a head the size of an orange walks into a bar

He sits down, and orders a thimble of beer. The bartender looks confused, but gets him the drink. "Here's your drink, sir," says the barman. "But I have to ask. Are you, um, okay?"

^("Yes, I'm fine,") says the man. ^("It's not painful or anything.") He gestures at his tiny head.

"But, ...

Best wife ever

My wife told me to strip her naked, hand cuff her arms and legs to the bed posts and put a ball gag in her mouth then, do whatever I wanted, so I went fishing.

The Life of a Bug Spray Salesman

A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. *"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."*

The farmer was dubious. *"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you...

Why should you not build an outdoor strip club?

In the winter time, you’ll get your lips stuck on the pole

Why did Rudolph go to the strip club?

He heard he’d see his good friend Dancer there.

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A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room

The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and seeming a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed," she replied.

"Strip down to your waist," the Doctor said.

She did.

He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and r...

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Four monks were called by an abbot for a test of purity. They were asked to drop their robes and stand naked.

The abbot brought four small bells and asked the monks to tie them to their penis. Their task was to stand still and not make the bell ring. The task seemed easy until the abbot brought a super hot model into the room. None of the bells rang ,so the abbot asked the super model to do a strip dance. T...

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Genghis Khan and his soldiers attacked a tiny village of their enemy country and took all the men and women as prisoners..

Later in the evening,after being intoxicated,the sadistic Genghis decides to play a game..

He asks all the men from the village to stand in a line and strip down their pants..

He then instructed one of the wives of the men to be blindfolded and she should recognize her husband after ex...

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The year is 2222 and John and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

John asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian resp...

Fireman;s hose

So, a fireman comes home from work one day, and says to his wife, "you know, we have a wonderful system at the firehouse. Bell 1 rings, and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings, and we all slide down the pole. Bell three rings, and we all get on the trucks".

"So from now on, we're going t...

"I'm hungry. I just need something small to satisfy, any suggestions?"

"...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?"

"Maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."

My dad told me to never go to a cheap, sleezy, raunchy strip club, because you will see something you really shouldn’t

So I went…

I saw my dad

Did you hear that Shirley MacLaine once let Robert Redford rip off all her clothes?

Well, it was unavoidable; try to put a left-handed nut together with a right-handed stud and at least one of them is going to end up stripped.

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I went to the Worst Strip Club in Texas

There was only one other person there, a 80-something year old woman with flabby tits and makeup so thick it caked up around her eyes. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, smoking a rolled up cigarette between her dentures with her prosthetic metal hook hand.

When she saw me, she stood u...

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A six lane motorway and an autobahn are having a drink in a bar.

The door opens and a skinny useless looking single strip of asphalt walks in and sits near them. The motorway nudges and gestures the autobahn to move quietly to another part of the bar. When they are seated again the autobahn asks what the problem is. The motorway replies "You don't want to be near...

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A benefit of Charles III ascension to the throne

Once they change the picture on the money to the new King, Andrew won't have to tuck a picture of his mother into the G-strings of strippers.

There is a haunted strip club in my town

I asked my wife if I could go see some BoOoOo-bies

Who has no choice to strip to make ends meet?

Electricians

I feel sorry for the guys who regularly go to strip clubs...

Every time I go I think, "Man, I see some of these losers here every week."

A young couple walks into the doctors office.

The wife start complaining to the doc: "look, we have been married for three weeks but he hasn't even tried to touch me downthere". The doc says "well we'll fix that, please strip down and lay overthere" the doc turns to the man and tells him to watch closely.
While the man watches, the doc give...

Woman goes to see a doctor about her bed wetting problem

Doctors listens to her, nods sagely where appropriate and then tells her to strip. Woman is a bit confused but does as instructed. While she is undressing doctor places a big mirror on the floor and then tells woman to do a headstand over it. Even more confused woman does as instructed, figuring doc...

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Anniversary Surprise.

An old couple are married for 60 years.
At the night of the anniversary, to surprise her husband, the wife goes into the bathroom, strips naked, puts on a cape and jumps out shouting:
“SuperPussy!!!”
To which the husband says:
“I’ll have the soup.”

A Man And A Woman Get Into An Argument About Infidelity

The man is suspicious of his wife so he starts interrogating her asking her question after question.

The wife answers every question truthfully and even calls her friends or coworkers so that they can confirm too.

But this wasn't enough for her husband so he keeps on arguing and askin...

*Dad walks into strip club*

Dad: “Twerking hard or hardly twerking?”

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It's Catherine and Michael's 15th Wedding Anniversary

>**Catherine:** "You know what, You've bought me enough jewelry the past 15 anniversaries, so this time I'm gonna make it all about you."

*Catherine decides to take Michael to a strip club as a special little gift. They arrive at the strip club, and are greeted by the bouncer at the do...

Why was the shopping center’s father ashamed?

He didn’t raise his daughter to be a strip-mall!

I hate getting into arguments about Mobius Strips.

They're always one sided

A man went to a strip club

When he got inside he noticed an empty seat in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat. As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, ‘Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!’ The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look.
...

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A man is walking the Las Vegas strip, and runs into the most beautiful women he has ever met. [NSFW]

He starts talking to her, and to his luck he finds out she is a prostitute. So, he asks her.

"How much for a hand-job?"

"5,000$" she replies.

"5,000$?? You must be nuts, no way."

"Walk with me." She replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment to end up in front of a re...

It's another hot day, so I've opened all the windows and stripped off all my clothes .... it feels fantastic

The other people on the bus are complaining though

A married couple is lying in bed one night....

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradual...

A farmer is obsessed with Tractors

His whole live revolves around them. He eats, sleeps and dreams tractors, but one day his wife is killed in a tragic tractor accident. The farmer decides he's had enough and completely strips tractors from his life, moves off the farm and tries to move on without his wife and love of tractors
...

Myself & a bunch of guy friends tried to go to the new strip club named “The G Spot”…

We couldn’t find it.

Boris Johnson and the Queen are riding in the horse-drawn Royal carriage along the Royal Mile...

Suddenly, the horse lets out a long, godalmighty fart, the kind that sounds like it could strip paint.

The Queen, embarrassed, leans to Boris and says "I'm sorry about that".

And Boris replies "That's quite alright, ma'am, I thought it was the horse."

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A United States Marine walks into a restroom at the Pentagon to take a leak...

There, at the row of urinals, a Soldier and a Sailor are also relieving themselves. The Marine pulls up to a vacant urinal next to them and gets ready to do his business.

Just then the Soldier finishes up, zips up, and goes over to the sink. He turns on the water and lets it get nice and wa...

A woman goes to the store to buy a parrot as a family pet.

As she walks into the pet shop, she asks the owner, “How much are your parrots?” The owner replies, “The orange one is $150, the yellow one is $150 and the red one is $30.” The woman asks, “Why is the red one so cheap?” The owner replies, “He used to work at a strip club.”


The woman decid...

The Cashier said "Strip down, facing me"

By the time I knew he meant the credit card it was too late.

What's the best location for a gentleman's club?

A strip mall.

(Possibly OC)

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Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

Went to the strip club at lunchtime today and it was not open.

The sign on the door said, "Sorry, we are clothed."

Why do strip malls love renting space to Chinese restaurants?

Because they’re lo mein tenants.

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Is that a frog in your pocket …?

A man surveys the women in a nightclub, picks out the most attractive, and takes a seat next to her at the bar. He uses all his best lines, but gets nowhere. Finally, he reaches into his pocket, takes out a small box, and pulls a frog out of it.

‘Cute,’ says the woman. ‘Is that a pet?’
...

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A kid goes to the shops with his mum...

A kid goes to the shops with his mum.  He has always wondered about the female anatomy,  so he peers under the skirt of a mannequin. But unfortunately,  his mum sees him doing it.  


Whack! She smacks him over the head.  


"What are you doing,  you dirty little boy? There's nothi...

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I'm going to open a Scottish themed strip club...

I'm going to call it haggis, nips and titties

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A Soviet Strip Club

In the seventies, Soviet party members decide on establishing the first strip club in Moscow


They plan out everything, yet somehow there's next to no income. After some discussion, they decide on inviting two American experts to inspect the place.

The Americans look around for a m...

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A detachment of US Marines are conducting jungle warfare training in the Congo, and one night around the campfire, the Congolese troops they're training with tell the Marines the tale of a cave in the middle of the jungle, filled with golden treasure but guarded by a fearsome monster.

According to the local soldiers, the cave is filled with the treasures of an ancient African king, but a sorcerer used his arcane powers to create an unholy creature to guard it. She was formed from a mix of human, gorilla, chimpanzee, and baboon, and stands seven feet tall, enormously strong. She h...

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Larry walks in on his friend stripping inside a barn….

“Barry what the hell are you doing”

“ well Larry, I went to a therapist and she said to do something sexy to a tractor “

A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman...

The general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general ...

What is the deal with strip club food?

It lacks dressing

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A man was driving home from work when he remembered it was the 20th anniversary of his marriage

He still needed to get a gift for his wife, so he stopped at the department store on his way home. He quickly went to the lingerie department to pick up a gift and a sales associate was very happy to help. The sales associate asked what his budget was, to which he responded about $50. She showed him...

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A wife strips naked in front of her husband and says, "when I did this 30 years ago, what did you think?"

He replies, I was thinking I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out."

She asks "And what are you thinking now?"

"Looks like I did a good job."

What do you call adult nightclubs for nerds?

Comic strips.

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Two Nuns are ordered to paint a room

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In...

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An obese man is tired of being fat

He has tried everything to lose weight but nothing has worked.

He eventually got suicidal and went to his friends house and told him he will take his own life.

His friend said “wait wait, I know of a clinic that will 100% help you lose weight”

The obese man had nothing to lose s...

TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...

On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

My mate asked what I wanted to do on Friday night

I asked if he was up for chicken strips and a drink
He replied “nah man, I don’t wanna see no naked chickens”

The owners of my local strip club have closed until further notice

Apparently nobody wants to twerk anymore!

What did Julius Caesar say after visiting a strip club?

Veni vidi veni

One of the problems with being a waitress at a strip club is...

You only get the tips.

Alison Brie, Anna Kendrick, and Keira Knightley play a game of strip poker. Who wins?

The internet

Why is chicken a hoe?

Because chicken strips.

A policeman goes home to his wife

A policeman goes home to his wife in the evening after work. Exhausted, he enters the dark bedroom and strips out of his uniform, leaving it on the floor. He looks for the light switch but figures his wife is laying in bed and decides not to disturb her. Just before he's about to get into bed, his w...

A man with a hunchback, limp and massive bald spot is sitting in a bar, drinking his beer

When a knock out blonde sits next to him, smiles and says "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" Man, dumbfounded, can only nod. He gets his drink and woman keeps flirting. Guy, thinking this must be some sort of prank isn't engaging when she suddenly asks if he wants to go to her place. "What the hell, why ...

Blind Man

Two female privates are ordered to paint the general's office. They are warned not to get paint on their uniforms. So they lock the door, strip off their clothes and get to work. An hour later, there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" they ask. "Blind man." Thinking nothing of it, the privates open...

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Guy visits his favourite Dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he...

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I'm planning on starting a strip club....

... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.


I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.


The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".

The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.

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Up or Down

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to hi...

In the spirit of Superb Owl, I am opening a strip club inspired by recent events

called Oscar’s Lap

i have a nice laptop at home.

one day I was outside playing some ball game with some girls when one of the girls asked me to come over. I said yes of course, **as usual**. We get there, take off our shoes, and she stripped naked and laid down on the bed. Then she told me to take what I want, so i took the laptop and went home.

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Yo mama so fat

The strip club calls her Hitler after all the damage she's done to the poles.

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Canoe ride.

My grandmother was in a nursing home and caught the eye of an elderly gentleman in the home. The home was on a gentle river and he asked her if she would like to go on a canoe ride with him. She took him up on the offer of a date on the water. As they drifted away from the dock, he first looked u...

An English bishop was visiting New York and had been warned about quote-hungry American reporters.

As he was walking down the stairs off the plane, a voice amid the camera flashes called out "Hey, Bishop! Will you be visiting any strip clubs while you're in New York?"

The bishop gave a crinkly smile and said innocently: "Dear me, are there such establishments in this city?"

When he ...

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