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Regions Jokes

Climate change is causing people to move into hilly and mountainous regions

According to one expert on YouTube it is plain unsettling.

My friend laughs at regions with small mountains

He thinks they're hill areas

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Why are there regions in England named Wessex, Sussex, Essex and Northumbria?

... because nobody wants to live in a place called Nosex.

My friend had a dream of studying birds native to coastal regions before he died.

It's honestly really sad he never got to accomplish his Sea*goals*

Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air.

Usually by pilots of the carob bean.

As a lover of history, I always wondered how Genghis Khan would seek shelter whilst traversing various regions of the vast Mongol empire

Then it struck me. Finally! A regional Khan tent.

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The man anticipated a night of ravenous lovemaking when the Russian woman entered wearing nothing but a bra and panties. However, as she was walking, he heard a faint “Hello! Hello!” coming from her nether regions with each step she took...

“Where’s that sound coming from?” the man asked with a confused look on his face.

She smiled and said, “Don’t worry, that's just my Privyet parts.”

NSFW A 90 year old woman walks by her bathroom

A 90 year old woman walks by her bathroom on fall evening, and sees her 90 year old husband. He has a can of spray paint and is spray painting his nether regions. She stops and yells, “ You idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!”

A man decided to march in the holy crusades...

Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”

So, the husband leaves on horseback and abo...

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A man went to Harley Street in London having seen an advertisement for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.

Naturally interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.


The clerk pulled up the file and read: The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynaecologist.


You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regio...

As tensions rise in Ukraine

Vladimir is Putin troops in separatist regions, and Joe is Biden his time with imposing sanctions.

Do I use over elaborate sentences?

Do Ursine mammals defecate in Circumpolar Arboreal Forest Regions?

Gynecologist appointment

A woman has an appointment with her gynecologist, but oversleeps and wakes up 30 minutes before her morning appointment.

She has to drop her daughter at school first, so she runs to the bathroom and quickly wipes her neither regions with a flannel lying on the side of the bath and runs out th...

A bloke goes into the job centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a gynaecologist’s assistant; intrigued, he goes in to find out more…

‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he says to the guy behind the desk.

The job centre guy sorts through his files and replies, ‘Ah yes, I've had quite a few enquiries about this one; the job involves you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist – you have to help them out of ...

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An academic from Oxford University is writing a paper on sheep shagging technique.

Having no personal experience on the subject, he decides to travel across the country and interview farmers from different regions to find out how they shag their sheep.

First, he visits a farmer in Scotland and asks him what his sheep shagging technique is.

“Well laddy, after grabbi...

How do you make a Dutch person happy?

Explore their nether regions

An oil prospector is waiting at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter had some bad news for an oil prospector who appeared at the pearly gates of heaven: “You’re qualified for admission,” said St. Peter, “but, as you can see, the section for oil prospectors is packed. There’s no way to fit you in.”

After a moment, the prospector asked to say just four...

A pirate walks into a bar.

He has driving wheel sticking out his nether regions.

The bartender asks him "Doesn't that make you go crazy?"

The pirate replies "Argh. It's driving me nuts!"

Caesar on Cleopatra:

I, Caesar, when I learned of the fame
Of Cleopatra, I straightway laid claim.
Ahead of my legions,
I invaded her regions,
I saw, I conquered, I came.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...

Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his net...

A guy and his girlfriend are in a sportscar...

...the guy is doing daredevil stunts to impress her.
She turns to him, and says, "If you can go over 150 mph, I'll take off all of my clothes."
The guy obliges, and the car speeds down the road at 175mph, so the girlfriend tears all of her clothes off.

The guy loses control of the car...

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I saw a 7-eleven coffee cup on the table in the break room.

I was curious, so I looked on the back of the cup. It said that the coffee beans were mountain-grown in the world's finest coffee-growing regions and were inspected for premium quality five times prior to being roasted. I snuck a sip of the coffee and thought, "Wow. That's impressive."

Becau...

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A King asks two guards to protect his beautiful daughter's virginity...

Unbeknownst to the guards, the king put a trap in his daughter's nether regions.

The next day, the king summons the guards and one showed up with mangled genitals. The King had him executed for making attempts on his daughter.

The other guard, with his manhood intact was offered a pr...

What's the difference between Justin Trudeau and a baker?

While a dozen can go from 12 to 13, it's the other way around for the regions of Canada.

RIP ALBERTA

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New Job!!

A young guy living in Boston recently became unemployed and he immediately went to the nearest job center where he noticed a flyer pinned to the job board seeking a "Gynecologist's Assistant to work at a newly-built 'Soothing Approach Gynecology Center', no experience required".
He was very inter...

A man contracted a rare STD...

He finally went to the hospital to get his manhood examined.

He nervously took off his pants, "Doctor, what is wrong with me? It's been getting more and more painful down there."

After close examination, the doctor said in a grim voice, "I'm afraid we have to perform surgery to have ...

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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...

Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.

They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...

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A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.
The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, “What do you want?”
The bartender replies...

A northern man goes on a date with a southern woman during his vacation to the south.

Southerner: What do you and your friends do in your free time?

Northerner: We love to play the well known game called Club Penguin. Our favorite activity is to spend hours together on the iceberg.

Southerner: I play Club Penguin too!



As the two people from different regi...

Where's the fire.....

A firefighter’s wife suspects the hubby is getting some on the side. Being non confrontational , she plays it close to the chest. One day she goes through the hubby’s car and discovers a packet of unused condoms.

With a knowing smile, she soaks ‘em in jalapeño for an hour before putting the...

Salty Pete The Pirate

So, Salty Pete the pirate hobbles into the bar one night. I mean, he's so piratey. He's got a parrot on his shoulder, an eye patch, the peg leg and hook for a hand, and he for some reason has the helm of his ship stuck to his nether regions.

Anyway, he hobbles up to the bar and tosses down...

TIL about GMO Corn

Scientists have been working on developing drought resistant corn that will be a better crop for regions that do not get as much rain. They have developed a strain of corn that has stoma on the underside of the leaves that are stiffer.
It is hard pore corn.

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The terrible 2nd place prize

A girl enters a game show that allows her to win a trip to space and visit the cosmos at the furthest regions of our solar system. The girl must compete in games related to space and physics to determine if she’s got what it takes to go.

After hours of grueling physical and emotional trauma t...

Father Patrick had one weakness as a priest

He *hated* the English. His favorite fire and brimstone line was "...and you'd go to Hell with the English!" He had been admonished by his Bishop more than once about this.

Well, the Bishop was visiting for Holy Week when Father Patrick again assigned the English to the nether regions, and he...

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