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Wifey Jokes

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How loang does it take an english wifey tae dae a shite

Aboot nine months.

I have a headache

Hubby:brings Wifey Tylenol .
Wifey: what's this for? .
Hubby: your headache .
Wifey: I don't have a headache .
Hubby: awesome! Lets fu*k.

Had a fight with the wifey last night.

She exclaimed "Shut up, women are always right and men are always wrong." to which I replied "Yes, you are right".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hubby Went Fishing

Hubby told wifey,"going fishing early tomorrow morning." and she said,"Calling for rain." and he said,"No biggie,water won't bother me. I'm going,rain or shine." So,4:00 a.m. he hooks up his boat and just as he leaves the driveway,big storm hit. Rain,hail,high winds,so he backed his boattrailer back...

Last weekend my wifey asked me to bring her to one of those restaurants where they prepare food in front of you...

... so i brought her to Subway ... since then she hasn’t spoken to me 😥

Three Nights Drunk - Folksong [Long]

Late one night when I came home
So drunk I couldn't see,
I saw a horse in the stable
Where my horse ought to be.

Wifey dear, oh wifey dear,
Oh please explain to me,
How come a horse in the stable
Where my horse ought to be?

You old fool, you stupid fool,
It's plain...

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Boob job

Wifey wanted to get a boob job to up her cup size, so she asks her husband what he thinks. He replies:"Boob jobs are very expensive, why don't you just rub toilet paper between your boobs, it'll make them grow in no time!"
Wife:"Really, you really think it'll work???"
Husband:"Well, it worked ...

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A facebook user, a LINE user (japanese social media), and a redditor are having a drink at a bar.

The facebook user says "I've got to go home and spend time with the wifey."

The LINE user says "I must go home and spend time with the waifu."

The redditor says "Then I'll go home and spend time with the wifi."

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So this young newlywed couple is on their honeymoon...

They're both kind of shy about sex, so they make an agreement after their very first encounter.

"I'll tell you what," she says. "Instead of any awkward requests for nookie, why don't you just reach over and squeeze my boob three times if you want sex. And if you don't want sex, squeeze it on...

Where's the fire.....

A firefighter’s wife suspects the hubby is getting some on the side. Being non confrontational , she plays it close to the chest. One day she goes through the hubby’s car and discovers a packet of unused condoms.

With a knowing smile, she soaks ‘em in jalapeño for an hour before putting the...

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Young naive couple

A young naĂŻve newlywed couple from rural China decided to move to America to start a new life with nothing but big dreams and the love for each other. They arrived at their new home in rural Minnesota, and although they were happy and still in love, the first couple of months were difficult. They ...

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