What does a Rail Siding at a Marble Quarry and Lindsay Lohan have in common?

They both had a train run through them for rock.

Thomas Edison needed Nikolai Tesla, Joseph Swan, James Bowman Lindsay etc to invent the light bulb.

Many hands make light work.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead mom go to a cafe....

They had each stolen their daughters purses to see what their girls did in their free time.

The redhead mom opens her daughters purse first and finds a pack of cigarettes. “Oh my God, Debbie smokes! I am going to kill her!”

The brunette mom opens her daughter’s purse second, holding ...

Lindsay Lohan got her blouse dirty...

..and had to take it to the dry cleaners. She says "I need to get this cleaned" to the man behind the counter. The man who was hard of hearing replies "come again?", Lindsay responds "No, mustard".

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

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Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario.

Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin...

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Donald and Bill are bragging about who had sex with more girls in their neghborhood......

Each one says a girl name and the have to say done if they had sex with Her.
-Lindsay the cashier. Bill says done, Donald says done too.
-Brittney the nurse. Bill says done, Donald says done.
And they keep going with a long list of names with no end until Bill says lets finish this fast the...

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Lindsay Lohan walks into a bar, with a one winged, beat up, inebriated parrot on her shoulder

The bartender says, "Where did you get that drunk, fucked up bird?"

The parrot says, "The Rehab clinic in Malibu."

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A teacher asked her students to use definitely in a sentence.

Mrs. Durst asked her students to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny's hand shot straight up.

Mrs. Durst decided to ignore Johnny because he was always saying nottty things.

She called on Lindsay and she said "the sky is definitely blue"
And the teacher replied "well the s...

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Derrick goes to Asian night at the club.....

Derrick (a white american) learned that his Chinese friend has an american name (Joey) and a Chinese name (Yao). He has the yellow fever so he tests his luck at the local bar for Asian night. He musters the courage to talk to one of the girls at the bar.

"Hey what's your C...

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