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Jessie Jokes

Woody and Jessy were doing intimate things

Woody stops and asks, “Does this mean we are a thing?”. Jessie doesn’t answer and starts whispering “*I got a friend in me..*”

What did James say to Jessie?

You gotta big Meowth

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Woody say to Jessie while they were having sex?

Now I’ve got my friend in you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Jessie say to woody after doing anal for the first time?

“There’s a snake in my booty!”

Sorry, bad joke but I thought if it last night and kinda half chuckled

Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emma was not like the other girls. She didn't know why all the others were crazy about Derek. She felt more intimate with Jessie and the cheerleaders than with another guys. She was reaching a moment in her life when she had to ask herself the question.

Emma gay

I'm working on a "rock opera" adaptation of The Wizard of Oz that would employ the songs and sounds of the best British artists, including the Rolling Stones, Jessie Ware, Mumford & Sons, the Verve, David Bowie, and Radiohead.

It's called "Mum-Ware Stone-Verve the Rade-Bow."

A teacher asks her students to use the word "contagious" in a sentence...

Sally raises her hand. "Yes, Sally?" She answers, "I was at the doctor's office with my mom, but she told me not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious."

"Very good, Sally!" the teacher said, "Anyone else want to try?" Jessie raises her hand. "Yes, ...

My hair is always really messy, and I can never get organized.

I asked me friend today ''hey Jess, how do you get your hair like that?'' and she told me it's natural.


I wish that I had Jessie's curl

What's one of the worst songs a to put on at a wedding?

I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

EDIT: Also:
Dude looks like a lady
My best friends girlfriend
Jessie's girl
Another one bites the dust
What's love got to do

Boss calls in his top 4 employees.

Boss:
Been doing some evaluations. And I am very upset at the results. James, you appear to be buying Cocaine from some K-Fish. Peterson, you appear to be taking marijuana from this same K-Fish. I’m mostly disappointed at you, Jessie, for purchasing pills from this K-Fish person as well.
...

Having immigrated at 1 and been raised in Los Angeles

by two hard-working first generation Korean parents,

I still struggle with insecurities, some of which are

worsened by deeply ingrained Asian stereotypes from my past.

Just the other week, my Caucasian friend Jessie and I hit the links

and I tee off 250 yards straight dow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Roman army was making it's way through Scotland... [long]

Their march was interrupted by a frenzied shouting in the distance. The general ordered his men to stop and directed his attention towards the source of the noise. A single highland warrior was standing alone at the top of a small hill, yelling at the oncoming army.

"Come ahead ya big Jessies...

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