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Shes Jokes

What do you say to your sister when shes crying?

Are you having a crisis?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wife said she's leaving because of my sexual fetishes

I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out

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My wife always cheats when shes dieting

She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other men...

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

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NSFW An upset older gentleman calls his doctor. "Doctor Smith," it's Harold Renquist." "How can I help you today, Harold?" "Doctor, it's my wife of 42 years, Ethel. I think she's dead." "What do you mean you "think" she's dead?" asked the doctor.

"Well," said Harold, "the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up in the sink”

A genie grants three wishes to an old lady.

She says, "I want to be young again."

\*poof\*

She's young again.

"I want my little house to be turned into a beautiful mansion."

\*poof\*

She's now living in a beautiful mansion.

"I want my cat to be turned into a handsome young man!"

\*poof\*
...

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A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."


He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.


They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."


She's there at 6:30 am. sharp ...

A man hires a blonde to paint his porch.

He tells her that the brushes, paint, and ladders are in the garage.

About 30 minutes later he hears a knock and answers the door. The blonde lets him know that she's finished.

"Wow" he says, "that was quick. Did you have enough paint?"

"Yup, enough for 2 coats!" she replies....

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So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. She's funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop...

How cool is that for someone her age??

A lady is walking to the store when the sees the most beautiful garden shes ever seen....

She askes the man wattering his garden

"Excuse me sir, how do you get such red tomatoes?"

"Well" he said, "it's a bit embarrassing, but every morning I get up and come outside in just my robe and flash my tomatoes. Then the tomatoes blush and turn redder! You should try it sometime!"...

My Crush just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you"

Now she's staring at the bushes confused, wondering who said that.

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