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Sis Jokes

They finally did it, Reddit has made impossible for blind people to moderate their sub with the api changes. This is their last statement from r/blind

"H dhei osndhsjbw siso is koqp odjd jsoa JD djs sis ikksbs"

(I am sorry for this horrible joke and I really hope things may work out for you)

Sis. Boom. Bah.

What is the sound of an exploding sheep?

Snow isn't a problem in Muslim countries, but

ISIS

My step sis asked me to bring her something hard to write on...

Idk why she's so mad, it's really hard to write on scrambled eggs.

Winged horses are illegal in most US states.

But in Alabama, it's perfectly fine to peg-a-sis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

(This might be a repost, but my friend told me it and I thought it was funny.)

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

"Daddy, what does ass mean?"

"It means... beard."

Downstairs, the b...

My sister when through a phase where she spontaneously split down the middle making two identical copies. Now they are...

My one Sis and Mitosis.

My sister came in my room and said this

Ok, so say ketchup and liquor after each sentence ok?


What did you eat for breakfast?

ketchup and liquor


What did you eat for dinner?

ketchup and liquor


What do you do when a girl runs

...
Nice

15 year old sis of mine tried to show off her photoshop skills

I said it's just a minor editing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.



"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister...

A little boy says to his sister: "Guess what sis, I have two Blow Pops!"

Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight."

Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's

Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"

My 5yr old sis is smarter than me

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What sis Selenium say to Xenon?

U SeXe.

My sister made me some coffee today

Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis

Her: It was good?

Me: I just said it was average.

I am 23 and haven't had my periods as yet. My little sis is 17 and had her period since 13...

... I feel ashamed to talk about this to my friends because I don't know if I have a problem....

Or does it take longer when you are a boy?

Elise heard her little brother sniffling in the next room, so she went over and asked him what was wrong.

“I’m just having a bit of a cry sis,” he said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two girls walk into a pub.

After a little while, the barman notices that the older one is actually transexual.

The transexual walks up to the bar and says in a deepish voice, "One chardonnay and a large guimess for my sis please."

She takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them up. A few rounds late...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks all students of her class to learn 4 clauses before the next class next day.

Amit goes to his busy dad and says

Amit : Daddy Daddy. Can you please tell me a clause?

Dad : Shut up

Amit : Thank you Daddy

Next, Amit goes to his mom who is busy cleaning trash.

Amit : Mommy Mommy, Can you please tell me a clause?

Mom : Trash

Am...

What Do You Call A Schizophrenic Nun?

Psycho-sis

My sister trod on my foot…

My sister trod on my foot so hard that part of it split off and formed an exact replica of me.

‘My toe Sis!’ I yelled.

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Joke about Silicon Integraded Systems (super dark) (not funny)

"*if i was in a room, with a pistol with 2 bullets, and in this room there were, Hitler, Stalin and a SIS Integrated GPU, i woud shoot the SIS card 2 times*"

A brother and sister

A brother and sister are sitting in a room when the brother asks:

The brother: hey I got a question

The sis: what is it?

The brother: what’s it called when you create the topic sentence for an essay that outlines your argument and position and supporting details

Thesis:

Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom.

On the way back to bed, he passed his parents’ room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his dad, “Hey, Dad, what are you doing?”
The dad answered, “Playing Cards.”
Little Johnny asked, “Who’s your partner?”The dad answered, “Your mom.”

Little Johnny then pas...

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A woman is in a restaurant... (Science humorish)

She asks the female waiter,
"Is that condiment on the table the process in which a sex cell creates
haploids for sexual reproduction?"

The waiter replies,
"No, thats mayo, sis"

A brother and a sister are hanging out...

and the brother is barefoot. He notices his sister has been staring at his feet for awhile, so he asks,

Bro: “What’s up, why are you staring at my feet?”

Sis: “Well, i was just curious...”

Bro: “About?”

She points to his big toe

Sis: “Is that the process which moth...

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

OUCH! MY-TOE-SIS!

My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree.

I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”

A pair of hot twin sisters, one blonde, the other brunette get invited to a Halloween party.

A pair of hot twin sisters, one blonde, the other brunette get invited to a Halloween party. The theme is "snacks" so they decide to go as a pair of popular candy bars.
The party is a real blast and the brunette is having tons of fun, but the blonde is just kind of off to herself with no one giv...

I got arrested at the airport yesterday.

All I said was hi Jack, hi sis and bro
wassup.

What does a microorganism say when they give birth to their sister?

OW! My toe sis.

Son: “Mom, how do you feel about abortion?”

Mom: “Ask your sister.”

Son: “I don’t have a sis-“

What do you call the sister of a paraplegic?

Paraly-sis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a redneck say after sex?

Thanks, sis.

Just waiting for my sister at Heathrow Airport,

as I saw her emerge in arrivals I shouted, "Hi sis, " Never seen as many armed police appear as quickly in my life!

My sisters so rude...

Yesterday I was just minding my own business and she asks me
"Hey can you tell me what a lake in a desert is?"

Startled, I ignored her question and quickly said
"Oh hey sis!"

And then she just said thanks and left. I can't believe some girls.

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

Death of an Eel

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to J...

What do you you call redneck foreplay?

“Hey sis, you awake?”

What kind of pictures do u get when ur plant's sister eats the camera

Photos in the sis

My little brother (5) told me a joke that I kind of had to share.

¨Hey, sis?¨

¨Yeah?¨

¨Can I tell you this new joke I learned?¨

¨Sure, go for it!¨

¨Knock, knock!¨

¨Who is there?¨

¨Knock knock..!¨

¨Who is there?¨

And that continued for about 2 more times. Until he asked me to come closer and whispered in my ea...

My sister was diagnosed with a terminal disease affecting the lungs...

The doctor said she only had 5 more years to live. Her last wish before she died was to go to Berkeley University. I thought it over for a while and said “To Berk You Go Sis!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

nsfw Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly........

At Family Dinner:
Son: Dad, remember when I killed that butterfly and you told me, "no butter for a week?"
Dad: yeah...
Son: and when sis killed that honeybee and you said, "no honey for a week?"
Dad: yeah, that was a month ago. So what?
Son: Mom just killed...

What did the fertile spot in the desert with water tell it's sister?

Oh, ey sis

I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks -

Dad loved her, so did my sis, but mum said she could’ve done with another hour or so on a low heat.

[Request] redneck jokes

My sis is in jail and really wants funny slang terms used by rednecks. I have looked online and there are a couple of short list and some books for sale. I don't mind mailing her a book but I thought this might be a better resource to try first
Thank you all in advance.

My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed...

I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, "having an existential cry, sis?"

A woman plans to pay her sister a visit. They haven't seen one another for years, since her sister moved to New York.

"So, Rebecca- what's the best way I should find your apartment?"

"Well, Miriam it's real easy. When you leave the subway you'll see the great big tower-block, the one with the revolving glass-door to your immediate right. Give it a shove with your foot and scuttle inside while it's turning. S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of nuns got hit by a bus and died.

On heavens gate, st. Peter stopped them and told them to get in line and said: "Sisters, wash your sins away in this bowl of holy water, and you can step into heaven!"

First nun:"st.Peter, i've sinned. I once saw a penis."

St.Peter:"Then wash your eyes, and go in, sister!"

Secon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun walks into a bar

"A bottle of whisky please." The nun asks.

"No, sorry I can't sell whisky to a nun, You understand sis..."

"Mary Clarence." The nun interrupts. "It's not for me, but for mother superior."

The barman let's down his gaurd and agrees. When his shift ends he finds the nun drunk, hal...

A redneck goes to a bar...

A redneck goes to a bar and sees a cute girl. He has the bartender send her a drink. She flirts with him from across the bar, sending glances at him and he racks his brain trying to think of something good to say. He finally mans up, walks over to her and says "Hey sis what's up?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Prostitute goes to a Stutterer’s Convention...

A prostitute goes to a Stutterers convention
And sees three guys standing in the hallway and figures she can use a warm up...

She says fellas..
If any of you can tell me where you are from without stuttering I’ll give you a blowjob...

So the first guy says Cinci Sis isisisiisisi ...

What did the redneck say after his girlfriend swallowed?

You gots the purdiest tooth I ever comed across, Sis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny and his family are preparing for Christmas dinner.

Johnny goes upstairs to his brothers room while he’s playing video games. His brother gets a kill and yells “Yeah, eat that bitch!”
Little Johnny asks, “Hey bro, what does that word mean?”
His brother looks around hurriedly and replies “It means uh...a lovely lady.”

Little Johnny goe...

A little boy heard about Jesus Christ on tv...

he wanted to know more about who was jesus so he went to this dad "hey dad who's jesus christ?" dad answered "not now son im busy with work, ask ur mom" so the boy went to his mom and asked "mom who's jesus christ?" ,mom answered "baby im washing the dishes right now, ask ur sister" so the boy went ...

After years and years of hard work a farmer and his wife finally decide to go abroad on a well deserved vacation.

After four days the farmer decides to check how things are going in his farm. His son answers the phone...

Son: Did anything happen dad?

Dad: No, I just wanted to know if everything was ok, over there.

Son: Well our goldfish died.

Dad: What, how on earth did that happen!<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three home builders

There were three home builders, an Asian, a german and an American working on finishing a home, when they realize they need more wood to finish up the back deck.

The Forman says he will go get it, and assigns jobs to each of them. He tells the American he is in charge of cleaning up the insi...

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A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade.[My Fav]

The boy said 'M'am, I should be in 4th grade,I'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade'. The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy to the Principal's office. She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th ...

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[Long] An ex-CIA operative named Arti had a younger sister always getting into mischief...

Arti's sister was beautiful, you see. She would use her looks to get things she wanted, but when she got in over her head, she'd always fall back on big brother Arti's special set of skills to help her out. And since he retired early (after becoming partially disabled saving the President's life fro...

What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama?

You’re like a sister to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have got a serious problem.

My girlfriend and my sister have a same name, that made my life into a living hell. Whenever we are making love in bed and she's about to orgasm, she wants me to yell her name; but it make me uneasy quiet a lot. Because doing it reminds me of my girlfriend. What should I do?

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