What did the step bro say to the step sis?

NoChromo

My step sis asked me to bring her something hard to write on...

Idk why she's so mad, it's really hard to write on scrambled eggs.

A little convo between my sis and mum

My little sister was telling our mother something with full excitement but mum wouldn't listen.
Sister said, "Mom you never listen to me!"



Mother didn't listen to that either.

Sis. Boom. Bah.

What is the sound of an exploding sheep?

It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

What do you call it when your female sibling goes crazy?

Psycho-sis

15 year old sis of mine tried to show off her photoshop skills

I said it's just a minor editing

I'm 23 and I haven't had my periods yet. My little sis js 17 and had her periods since 13. I feel ashamed to talk to my friends because I don’t know if I have a problem...

Or does it take longer when you're a boy?

Snow isn't a problem in Muslim countries, but

ISIS

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

OUCH! MY-TOE-SIS!

A little boy says to his sister: "Guess what sis, I have two Blow Pops!"

Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight."

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The teacher asks all students of her class to learn 4 clauses before the next class next day.

Amit goes to his busy dad and says

Amit : Daddy Daddy. Can you please tell me a clause?

Dad : Shut up

Amit : Thank you Daddy

Next, Amit goes to his mom who is busy cleaning trash.

Amit : Mommy Mommy, Can you please tell me a clause?

Mom : Trash

Am...

Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's

Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"

My 5yr old sis is smarter than me

What do you say to your sister when shes crying?

Are you having a crisis?

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The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

(This might be a repost, but my friend told me it and I thought it was funny.)

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

"Daddy, what does ass mean?"

"It means... beard."

Downstairs, the b...

My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree.

I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”

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What sis Selenium say to Xenon?

U SeXe.

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.”

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

I once mind-controlled my sister and got her killed

Now they call me hip no sis

Two sisters are talking & one of them starts complaining about being on her period and starts venting about boy problems...

Her sister condescendingly replies “You just have problems with men sis”

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Little Johnny and his family are preparing for Christmas dinner.

Johnny goes upstairs to his brothers room while he’s playing video games. His brother gets a kill and yells “Yeah, eat that bitch!”
Little Johnny asks, “Hey bro, what does that word mean?”
His brother looks around hurriedly and replies “It means uh...a lovely lady.”

Little Johnny goe...

A woman plans to pay her sister a visit. They haven't seen one another for years, since her sister moved to New York.

"So, Rebecca- what's the best way I should find your apartment?"

"Well, Miriam it's real easy. When you leave the subway you'll see the great big tower-block, the one with the revolving glass-door to your immediate right. Give it a shove with your foot and scuttle inside while it's turning. S...

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Two girls walk into a pub.

After a little while, the barman notices that the older one is actually transexual.

The transexual walks up to the bar and says in a deepish voice, "One chardonnay and a large guimess for my sis please."

She takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them up. A few rounds late...

My sister came in my room and said this

Ok, so say ketchup and liquor after each sentence ok?


What did you eat for breakfast?

ketchup and liquor


What did you eat for dinner?

ketchup and liquor


What do you do when a girl runs

...
Nice

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Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.



"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister...

There once was a man from Alabama . . .

He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .

Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?

One day, very tragically, Catf...

My little brother (5) told me a joke that I kind of had to share.

¨Hey, sis?¨

¨Yeah?¨

¨Can I tell you this new joke I learned?¨

¨Sure, go for it!¨

¨Knock, knock!¨

¨Who is there?¨

¨Knock knock..!¨

¨Who is there?¨

And that continued for about 2 more times. Until he asked me to come closer and whispered in my ea...

What does a microorganism say when they give birth to their sister?

OW! My toe sis.

My sister made me some coffee today

Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis

Her: It was good?

Me: I just said it was average.

I got arrested at the airport yesterday.

All I said was hi Jack, hi sis and bro
wassup.

Just waiting for my sister at Heathrow Airport,

as I saw her emerge in arrivals I shouted, "Hi sis, " Never seen as many armed police appear as quickly in my life!

My sisters so rude...

Yesterday I was just minding my own business and she asks me
"Hey can you tell me what a lake in a desert is?"

Startled, I ignored her question and quickly said
"Oh hey sis!"

And then she just said thanks and left. I can't believe some girls.

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

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Angela Merkel invites to dinnerparty after G20 summit.

So, true story that has been leaked here in Germany, after the last G20 summit in Hamburg, Merkel invited all the leaders to a dinner party:

Sitting at the table Trump and Putin took a seat next to her, left and right. She notices the federal republic did not spare expenses and served dishes ...

What do muslims say when their sister pokes them in the eye?

Eye-sis

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A group of nuns got hit by a bus and died.

On heavens gate, st. Peter stopped them and told them to get in line and said: "Sisters, wash your sins away in this bowl of holy water, and you can step into heaven!"

First nun:"st.Peter, i've sinned. I once saw a penis."

St.Peter:"Then wash your eyes, and go in, sister!"

Secon...

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A teenage boy can't find a date for prom NSFW

He's new to the school, and has had a tough time making friends. After several weeks of moping about because he's too embarrassed to go alone, his older sister finally gives in, and tells him she'll pretend to be his date because no one at the school knows her anyway.

Unfortunately, when the ...

A little boy heard about Jesus Christ on tv...

he wanted to know more about who was jesus so he went to this dad "hey dad who's jesus christ?" dad answered "not now son im busy with work, ask ur mom" so the boy went to his mom and asked "mom who's jesus christ?" ,mom answered "baby im washing the dishes right now, ask ur sister" so the boy went ...

A brother and a sister are hanging out...

and the brother is barefoot. He notices his sister has been staring at his feet for awhile, so he asks,

Bro: “What’s up, why are you staring at my feet?”

Sis: “Well, i was just curious...”

Bro: “About?”

She points to his big toe

Sis: “Is that the process which moth...

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

My sister was diagnosed with a terminal disease affecting the lungs...

The doctor said she only had 5 more years to live. Her last wish before she died was to go to Berkeley University. I thought it over for a while and said “To Berk You Go Sis!”

"Dad, what do you think about abortion?"

--Ask your sister

--But I don't have a sis...

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An oldie but a goodie, middle school legend. Its worded in a way as if its a conversation, bear with me.

So there's this kid, kinda stupid, going to kindergarten. He's set to learn his alphabet. His teacher tells him to go.home, and memorize the first 3 letters of the alphabet.

He goes home, and goes to his mom, who's talking on the phone with her ex-boyfriend. She's talking away, things are ge...

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What does a redneck say after sex?

Thanks, sis.

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A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade.[My Fav]

The boy said 'M'am, I should be in 4th grade,I'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade'. The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy to the Principal's office. She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th ...

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