You know that mouth-watering sensation you get when you're grilling a fat, juicy steak?

I wonder if vegans get that when they mow the lawn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From an old cowboy who frequents my watering hole (hopefully not too country for y'all)

A woman from New York dreams of one day exploring the wild west. After a year of saving and pinching pennies she finally has enough money to make her dreams come true.

After an exciting three weeks she returns home and meets with her girlfriend for drinks.

Her girlfriend asks "How wa...

why did the deranged man fill in the watering hole?

Because he was mentally unwell.

Last week, I called someone a watering hole

But I meant well

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time?

You have been germinated.

What do you call an empty watering can?

A watering can't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man scores a hot date

Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his penis enlarged. The doctor says, "we happen to have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick." To which the man accepts.

Later on, the man and his dat...

Three guys are driving through the desert in an old Jeep when it breaks down 50 miles from the nearest watering hole.

Guy 1 claims “it’s only 50 miles to water, grab what we need to protect us from the heat and let’s walk” he gathers up a water container and car seat blanket and sets off.

Guy 2 thinks for a while and then decides to follow, so he grabs an old umbrella from the trunk and follows guy 1, please...

What do you call someone who grows plants by watering them with blood?

A phlebotanist

A sailor enters a sketchy watering hole. In the entrance a sign reads: Sausage roll 10$

And underneath it continues: Hand job 13$

A curvy barmaid is at the bar. He approaches her.

- Are you the one giving the hand jobs?
- Yes my sweet, are you feeling lonely? Do you want one?

He says

- No I will need you to sanitize your hands though...

(taking ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

there were two sheep herders at the bottom of a mountain watering their sheep

as they sat there tending the sheep they heard "YEEHAA YOO YEEHAA!" coming down from the mountain they looked up there to see a big cloud of dust coming down the mountain in front of it there is a cowboy riding a big mountain lion whipping it with two rattle snakes when he gets to the sheep herders ...

Too many people are drinking from my watering place.

It's a well known problem.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.