UPJOKE
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I’ve always dreamed of swimming in a body of water filled with soda.

Sadly it’s just a Fanta-sea.

What's the most sarcastic body of water on earth?

The Crimea River.

What is the smallest body of water in the South?

The gene pool.

Have you heard Justin Timberlake's hit song about his favorite Ukrainian body of water?

The Crimea River

What do you call a body of water that won’t follow its own rules?

The Hypocri Sea

Which large body of water is the most envious?

The Jealousy

What do you call a body of water made up of politicians?

Bay of Pigs.

Also works with “What do you call a body of water made up of cops?”

What’s another name for a noisy body of water?

A creek

Which body of water always gives the exact details?

The Specific Ocean.

What do you call it when people try to make you to build a a platform supported on pillars or girders leading out from the shore into a body of water, used as a landing stage for boats even though you don’t want to?

Pier pressure

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What did one body of water say to another?

Nothing, they can't fucking speak.

I’m in Britain and I have a friend in America. He keeps telling me he identifies as a large body of water.

He’s transatlantic.

"What is the largest body of water in the world?" Quiz contestant: "The ocean?"

Asker: "I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more Pacific."

What body of water is full of testicular mites?

The Baltic Sea.

What body of water is used for writing?

The Apostrosea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In what body of water did Hitler keep his string?

The Knot seas

Bring on the downvotes!

What's a stoner's favorite body of water?

The T.H. sea

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?

River Derci. Sorry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

Misunderstood JT

In the early 2000s Justin Timberlake did a tour in Eastern Europe and had a stop in southern Ukraine.

After playing a show in Sevastopol he had some down time so he travelled the countryside, and was amazed by the stunning beauty of the peninsula's nature and wildlife. He backpacked through ...

Two Irishman were fishing on a lake...

...when one of them caught a mysterious, ancient-looking bottle. Upon taking the bottle off the line, a genie popped out of it and said, "I really don't have time for this three wishes nonsense. You get one wish between the two of you, so make it good."

The fisherman who caught the bottle imm...

A man goes hiking

He brings with him a backpack with a water pouch for easy hydration and, as a back-up, a metal straw that had a filter so he could drink from any body of water he wanted.


After a couple of hours he realizes that he is already out of water. Being the conservative drinker he was, he figured...

An Englishman, an American and a Dutchman found a genie in an ancient tomb.

"BEHOLD MORTALS!" the genie bellowed. "I SHALL GRANT YOU IMMORTAL LIFE!"

Immediately, all three men are excited.

"But, dear chap, there must be a catch!" the Englishman yelled.

"Of course! You must beat me in a contest. You may throw anything, no matter how large or how small i...

A well-dressed city slicker breaks down on a country road...

His cellphone is dead, but a kindly farmer tells him he can use the landline in his farmhouse, a few hundred yards back from the road.

The traveller strides hurriedly across the farmer's field in advance of the farmer, but hesitates as he draws near a broad body of water, and turns back to lo...

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