Votes Jokes

It's the Tally Ban.

One night, a man is making his way home from the local. He's had a fair bit to drink, when he hears this thumping noise behind him. Not wanting to get involved in whatever it is, he puts his head down and keeps walking. Minutes later he hears the noise again, behind him and getting louder.
‘Thump... read more

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.

...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

I really do.

Edit: Thanks for the silver!

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

Edit: Thanks for the platinum!

The Captain is with him, showing him the functions and rooms of the submarine. Near the end of the tour when they’re in the operations room, the admiral notices a monitor with “Up 0, Down 0” displayed on it. Perplexed, he asks the captain “What is this monitor’s function?”

“Oh, that’s the tal... read more

Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

Mr. President.

Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.

His advisers are rushin...

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post ... read more

and she says, "Well, the first time, remember when Dr. Smith said he we couldn't afford the operation, and then he changed his mind and did it for free?" He says yes, and forgives her. "And the second time, do you remember when our boy got a DUI, and the judge let him off with probation?" He says ye... read more

They hired pole workers instead of poll workers

Electile dysfunction

Let me see all the eyes... now the nose...

See Marijuana brings people together!!!!

Would be a shame if someone deleted them...

Not even Bernie himself could do it.

Donald J Trump is believed to be the first orange President to be elected in the history of the United States.

They - for one - at least do not lie

Its not going to grow much larger though. It's hard for them to get much work done. They never meet.