What do call a haunted ballot box?

A poll-tergeist

A reporter asked President Trump if he was concerned that one recent poll had 54% of likely voters casting their ballots for Joe Biden.

The president confidently responded that the other 56% were voting for him.

Why are Trump supporters usually first to the ballot box?

Because they’re always Russian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler, Stalin, and COVID were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

COVID says "NONSENSE! I've kept everyone in quarantine for 6 months, ruined global economy, and killed hundreds of thousands of people. I am the most hate...

The vote for better slides in school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.

Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.

A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show.

Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony.

Robert Mugabe, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson are in a crashing aircraft.

The problem is, there's only one parachute. So Boris says, "Look here chaps, we're all democracies. Why don't we just vote on who gets the parachute?" Donald and Boris agree, and, even though they have limited time, they decide on a ballot system.

They all cast their votes, then Robert opens ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I often wonder how so many Americans voted for Trump... And then I figured...

They probably all drew a massive cock on their ballot paper.

Baby, you must be a rigged election

because I want to stuff your ballot box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump, Logan Paul and Hitler are having a discussion.

Hitler: “Which one of us do you guys think is the most hated?”

Logan: “I’ve ruined vine and YouTube and made an ass out of not only myself but my fans as well!”

Trump: “I’ve trolled an entire nation to get to this place and now only half of America loves me!”

Hitler: “Alright wh...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sleazy stripper runs for governor

After a controversial ballot, the stripper wins despite never having a lead the whole race. Many people suspect they rigged the erection.

TIL of an odd political problem in Colorado.

Cattle has long been the number one agricultural product of Colorado, but the recent legalization of marijuana is causing significant and unforeseen problems.

Apparently, cows love marijuana as much as people, and cattle ranches and nearby marijuana farms are on the brink of open warfare. Co...

I asked my blonde friend who she voted for.

She said, "I voted for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton."

I said, "Why on earth would you do that?"

"On the ballot," she replied, "it said 'Vote Both Sides'"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

voting

Voting is compulsory in Australia. But sometimes politicians complain when people mess up their ballot papers.

Last time I wrote "you fuckers ruined the country" on mine.

Not sure which party will honestly try to claim that vote.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Election was tied....

The US Presidential election of 2016 had been over for weeks. Every single ballot had been counted and tabulated, the Electoral College had cast their votes, and after every avenue had been exhausted, it was unequivocally a dead heat. Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton turned to the Supreme Court...

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