Voter Jokes

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Trump voters. Not really knowing what a Trump voter is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John... read more

He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people. At the end of the talk, there is some time for questions.

Little Sasha puts her hand up and says

"I have two questions: Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to Uk... read more

Strong.

Because they always hit the poles.

One is a childish fantasy about getting what you want. The other has flying reindeer.

... and sees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton huddled together at the end of the bar, whispering to one another. Intrigued, the voter approaches the pair and asks them what they are doing.

"We're planning the 2016 election," brags Trump.

"What's going to be different about it this yea... read more

One.
Trump voters screw themselves.

High.


Go vote

Correction: Chance the Total Landscaper

The president confidently responded that the other 56% were voting for him.

Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?

...and sits down right in front of the bartender. The bartender glances up at his hat and goes, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

"What, you have a drink named Dave?"

"No, you idiot, I was talking about a Moscow mule."

Gerrymandarin.

I don’t know, trump won’t let me count them all.

Pander Express.

Deportable

However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.

Upon hearing the news, China reacted fiercely and decided to withdraw all pandas from every country back to mainland China. It was a logistical nightmare⁠ to bring all the pandas back—it was pandemonium.

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles


(for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

...he's going to mullet over.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

... and I stopped reading because that part was surprising enough.

Because they're unable to see the big picture.

They don't like voter competition.

"Orange Is The New Black."

...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.

He was a young man - a candidate for an agricultural constituency - and he was sketching in glowing color to the audience of rural voters the happy life the laborers would lead under an administration for the propagation of sweetness and light.

"We have not yet three acres and a cow, but it w... read more

It’s impossible to know, that’s why they wear them.

I guess they had a high voter turnout.

Tell him you placed evidence of voter fraud in the corner of his office.

I'm a long-time fan of this sub-reddit and frequent up-voter, but I seldomly have anything funny to post, so here is the oldest joke in recorded history, dating back to 1900 BC (almost 4 thousand years ago from ancient Sumeria):

Q: What is something that has never before occurred since time i... read more

As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

If you’re red, and you fail to take care of your voters during a respiratory virus pandemic...they turn blue.

....is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid

A Britisher asked and Indian

Why no politician in India has tested postive for corona?
while lot of politicians around the world even some of the prime minister's tested postive for corona?

Indian: The Politicians in India meet voters only once in 5 years and strictly follow "Social... read more

Most of Trump's voters love a strong heroin.

My voters pamphlet.