Polls Jokes

Their manager explains to them how to drive the poles into the ground, and leaves them to their work while he goes off to attend to other business. At the end of the day, he comes back to see what progress has been made. First, he sees that the Norwegian team has put up 15 poles.

"For a job w... read more

A tonic wine party was tried in Scotland, but people thought it was a con, with the organisers just trying to make a Buckfast

and she says, "Well, the first time, remember when Dr. Smith said he we couldn't afford the operation, and then he changed his mind and did it for free?" He says yes, and forgives her. "And the second time, do you remember when our boy got a DUI, and the judge let him off with probation?" He says ye... read more

...and then, they asked him to count to ten. The man counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten."

Then they put the right half back and removed the left half, and again asked the man to count to ten. The man counted, "one, three, five, seven, nine."

The scientists then removed both halves of... read more

....it reminds me of the night he won the Presidency.

0 out of 0 statisticians agree.

Dementia.

He didn't know he had to vote bi den.

It looks like june is the end of May

She replied, "don't forget to wipe it down before you start your set."

Jared said,"be positive, spread your positivity, and after all is said and done, try to come across as a patient person"

ID'd her real good.

Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries"
Me - "But you need to have a guardian permission to sign up into Social Media if you are less than 13 years old"

Because he wants to send them back to Poland

it really polls the room together

Because of Germans rushing to the polls!

4. One to change it, and the rest to say the method is wrong (heard this on r/polls)

In Egypt, the election system used to be that people would vote yes or no to the current president to determine wether elections were going to happen or not. The day before the polls everyone would hang signs saying yes to the president. But one man decides to vote no.


Later that night,... read more

Because that's when the polls close.

They keep dancing around all the polls.

When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.

Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.

...but according to the latest polls, he's winning 100% of the Naive American vote

The last American president was black, polls suggest that the next president will be Donald trump.....

Huh. I guess orange is the new black

...There lived 3 very important politicians. Brutus was a schemer, and a very ambitious man. No one trusted him, but everyone worked with him. Julius Caesar was unpopular with the politicians of Rome, but the people loved him. Julius was a consul of Rome. Marc Antony was the third politician in ques... read more