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Voters Jokes

Trump voters

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Trump voters. Not really knowing what a Trump voter is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little John...

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids.

He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people. At the end of the talk, there is some time for questions.

Little Sasha puts her hand up and says

"I have two questions: Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to Uk...

Biden has a higher approval rating among female voters than Trump

However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.

How many Trump voters does it take to screw in a lightbulb

One.
Trump voters screw themselves.

Why are drunk drivers the best voters?

Because they always hit the poles.

How many American voters does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don’t know, trump won’t let me count them all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Will Mayor Pete’s campaign office be phoning voters

By making Butti calls?

What do you call half of Hillary's voters?

Deportable

Why don't Leave voters go to the cinema?

Because they're unable to see the big picture.

A reporter asked President Trump if he was concerned that one recent poll had 54% of likely voters casting their ballots for Joe Biden.

The president confidently responded that the other 56% were voting for him.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?

They can use Flint and Tinder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there are two things Trump voters hate...

The first is being called, "racist."
And the second is black people.

Where does Hillary Clinton eat at to appeal to Asian voters?

Pander Express.

As chosen by voters, Germany's Berlin Zoo named their two newborn pandas "Hong" and "Kong".

Upon hearing the news, China reacted fiercely and decided to withdraw all pandas from every country back to mainland China. It was a logistical nightmare⁠ to bring all the pandas back—it was pandemonium.

Saw a headline that started with "45% of Alabama GOP voters think" ...

... and I stopped reading because that part was surprising enough.

I wanna ask Roy Moore voters how they feel about losing such a close race.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

I think I'll vote the NSA for president...

...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.

Donald Trump has a new slogan that he hopes will help his numbers with African American voters.

"Orange Is The New Black."

Donald Trump's advisers worry he could lose support from his base, so they suggested he change his hairstyle to better connect with white, rural voters...

...he's going to mullet over.

The politician, 1913

He was a young man - a candidate for an agricultural constituency - and he was sketching in glowing color to the audience of rural voters the happy life the laborers would lead under an administration for the propagation of sweetness and light.

"We have not yet three acres and a cow, but it w...

Why did so many Republicans vote for Joe Biden this year? (TW: Political, bad taste)

If you’re red, and you fail to take care of your voters during a respiratory virus pandemic...they turn blue.

Did you hear about joe?

He’s pretty popular among voters.

A Britisher asks an Indian.

A Britisher asked and Indian

Why no politician in India has tested postive for corona?
while lot of politicians around the world even some of the prime minister's tested postive for corona?

Indian: The Politicians in India meet voters only once in 5 years and strictly follow "Social...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tories,

The Tories, with ageing voters and falling membership are worried about being "left behind". Why?

They're already right arses.

If they get left behind as well they can be complete arses.

Clinton didn't lose the election because of misogyny...

Most of Trump's voters love a strong heroin.

what's black, white, orange and terrifying?

My voters pamphlet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Internet recipe competition

There was a new competition for people to post their favorite recipes and the prize for the winner was to be featured on the front page of the local newspaper and the town website.

In an effort to save time and effort, the participants were told to submit these recipes online.

People ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a wasp.

Now, this wasp was no ordinary wasp. No, no, this was an extremely intelligent wasp. He was so smart, in fact, that one day he decided to leave the nest to go to high school. Obviously, this was a big deal for his family, but they supported him in following his dreams, so they packed up his few belo...

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