Eureka! I have it. Santa's wave function is entangled with the wave functions of all non-naughty kids and all presents. Observation on Christmas morning collapses the wave function, so presents appear instantaneously under the trees of all good kids. No violation of relativity in Santa's travel. ...
Word has it Matt Damon will reprise his role as a CIA assassin, but this time he'll pretend to be a physicist specializing in scattering theory.
Title: "The Bourne Approximation"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Billy the Tree
Billy the tree aces his SATs at Forest High and ends up with a full college scholarship. The day arrives for him to move halfway across the state. The older trees wish him luck, and they make him promise to write. They wave and cheer as he packs his trunk and leaves.
He arrives at his college...
How to tell time in a forest
Here's how to tell time in a forest.
Try and face north, or make your best approximation as to which way is north. Stand straight and tall. Extend both arms so that they are parallel with the ground. Lower your left arm back down to your side. Bend your right arm so that your hand is against...
Why doesn't Kylo Ren's lightsaber look like a normal lightsaber?
Because it's a First Order approximation.
A new missionary arrives in Africa . . .
A missionary had just arrived at his new station in Africa, and was being briefed by the man he was about to replace.
"Brother," said the old missionary, "We have truly done the Lord's work here. We have taught nearly all the wild animals in this part of the continent to understand and speak ...
They say physicists like to work with harmonic oscillation because it's the only problem they can solve.
That's not exactly true, but it is a good approximation.