When I was a young, I loved basketball and was a huge Michael Jordan fan. But I wasn't sure if I had enough talent to become a pro player. Until one day I saw this huge poster. In the poster Jordan points at me and the caption reads "JUST DO IT". I got tears in my eyes and decided "I will do IT! ".

That's how I became a web developer.

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What do you call closed captioning for a porno?

Subtitties

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Today i got a memo from the HR for sexual harassment..

All that happened was a female co-worker came wearing a t-shirt with the caption "GUESS"

So i said " might be 32C " ..

In my girlfriend's copy of 50 Shades of Grey I found a photo of me with the word "scumbag" written as a caption.

I guess I'm not in her good books.

Experts have decided on a caption for the famous photo of Trump and Putin's first handshake

They settled on "Grabbing America By the Pus*y"

So i was watching an anime last night and all the captions were in spanish

oops wrong sub

What’s the easiest way to limit overpopulation.

Change the the caption from “please do not try this at home” to “please try this at home”

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I started dating this danish woman and this is what happened...

I started dating this danish woman and posted a picture of us on Instagram. (I captioned it chillin with my new bae). Shortly after she saw this, she broke up with me. Turns out bae means poop in danish?!

Putting captions in the wrong place

You know what I hate the most...?

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There was a wealthy Jew who owned a nail company. His only son had just graduated from college and the father wanted to get him involved in the company.

He initially farmed the young man out to each of the departments; first research & development, then manufacturing, then sales, and in each the son was a dismal failure. Determined to find a place for his offspring, the father decided that his son needed his own project.

So the father pla...

A Latino was standing in line for a long time

While waiting for a Super-Deluxe Juicinator 9000TM, A Latin man was casually strumming a small ukulele to pass the time for the sale.

After a couple of hours, the man is at the counter with 3 other people nearby; one has AirPods, the second is uncomfortably close to the counter, while the th...

The hare and the tortoise

The hare and the tortoise were having a rematch. This time, they decided to race through Europe, starting with London. The plan was to race to Dover, get the ferry across, and go along the French coast, across Belgium, Germany, and head north through Denmark.

The hare figured that his fur wo...

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I just saw Donald Trump on pornhub

the caption was "rich man fucks entire country at once"

My dad once asked me what a meme was

* Me: Picture with a caption, usually funny.
* Dad: Who would ever spend this much time making such things?
* Me:me

Goldberg opens a hardware store.

To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: “They used Goldberg’s nails.”

His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, “You can’t use that! It will cause antisemitism!"

So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus’s bod...

Jewish ad campaign

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sund...

Nail advert

There was once a family run nail manufacturing company. One day, the father asked his son to create a poster advert for their company in an effort to attract new business.

A week later, the son shows his father the poster, which depicted Jesus on the cross with a caption that read "Guarantee...

The Glorious Leader visits a pig farm

Kim Jong-Un visits a pig farm and has the obligatory propaganda photo taken.

Later, three editors for the Pyongyang Times are facing the task of finding an appropriate caption.
#1: "How about 'The Glorious Leader among pigs'?"
#2: "Are you mad? That could cost us our heads!"
#3: "How...

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