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Units Jokes

Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)

Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.

Student: *raises hand*

Professor: Yes?

Student: 1 Earth

America is converting to metric units...

inch by inch.

TIL: Units of measurement like feet and inches were originally based on the current monarch's sizes

That's why they were called rulers.

What units is regicide measured in?

Kiloliters

My dad thought OnlyFans was a webstore that just sold air conditioning units.

I suppose you can still find something on there to spin around and blow you.

Units.

A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.

What is the unit of volume?

Liters.


What is the unit of mass?

Kilograms.


What is the unit of distance?

Meters.


What is the unit of power?

Yes.

(I know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why weren't the Nazi canine units executed for war crimes?

They were just following odors.

I mixed up the temperature units when doing my Physics test

As a result, I got an absolute zero.

What do you call a man who steals ac units?

An aircon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Converting Units:

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = ...

In a world of change, the police force needs K-9 units...

...to pick up cents.

we should stop making fun of the Americans for using inches, foot, miles, etc as units of measurements.

it's not like they crashed a rocket into Mars because of this or something... oh wait...

I heard that scientists are meeting to redefine units of measure.

I'm kind of afraid that if we give them an inch they'll take a mile.

I was going to consider brief units of time

but now I'm having second thoughts.

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