What do you call a disabled gang member?

A crip.

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A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

Low iron deficiency gang STAND UP!

But not too fast.

I was kidnapped by a gang of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

My grandad said there’s gangs at his retirement village

The blood clots and the cripples

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An East End gang boss had always been very careful with whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up...

He thought he'd been really clever in hiring a crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't
much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it quickly dawned on the boss that
someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it<...

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Shaggy and the gang are out there trying to discredit demons all while hanging out with a talking dog.

My dudes— that IS a demon!

How did little Timmy know what gang to join?

He went for a Blood test

What do you call a gang of racist chickens?

The cluck cluck clan.

There's a gang going through town, systematically shoplifting clothes in order of size.

Police say they are still at large.

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted murder

The Peanuts gang goes to a WWE show, each one randomly picking a WWE legend from a hat to dress up as for the show. Linus: "I got John Cena!" Peppermint Patty: "I got Becky Lynch! Who'd you get, Chuck?"

Charlie Brown: "I got The Rock."

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A sweet, little old lady walks into a bar frequented by the baddest biker gang around.

She walks up to the leader, a real mountain of a man, and say she wants to join. He can barely contain his laughter, and decides to have some fun with her before he tells her off.

"Do you even own a bike?" he asks.

"I do. It's parked right outside."

"Do you swear?"

"More ...

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My mate and I were walking along when we noticed a gang of bat carrying youths in our way. He said "Quick! Pretend we're the police."

I sang 'Every breath you take' But we still got the shit kicked out of us.

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails.

The snails take his wallet and leave. The sloth regains his composure and goes straight to the police station.

The police officer says, "can you describe the gang for us?"

The sloth says, "I don't know. ...

You know how some gangs beat up new members to initiate them?

I might be in like 12 gangs.

What is it called when a gang member kills his best friend?

Homiecide

I used to be a gang member with the Bloods, but then I had a baby and realized I had to make some real changes in my life...

So now I'm with the Crips, and me and my little guy can finally watch Blue's Clues together.

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A woman decided to join a biker gang to see what it was like...

After talking with the club president, a burly tough-looking guy, she was told that she was going to be asked some questions that would be used to decide if she qualified. She had never done anything illegal and had no idea what they expected, so she decided to put on her best bad girl act to impres...

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.

As they are marveling abo...

What should you do if you ever encounter a gang of murderous clowns?

Go for the juggler.

A gang decided to rob a bank...

...they opened every vault and found only cups of yogurt. So they ate it all…

Next day, in CNN news:

"BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!”

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Once upon a time...

A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made hi...

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An armed gang intercepted and drove away a truckload of viagra pills.

Police are on the hunt for hardened criminals..

There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of horrible punishments if they don't join.

But enough about the church.

COVID Joke

Ten years from now you’ll put on a jacket and find a mask in the pocket. “Oh man, what a weird year that was.” Then you pick up your machete and continue across the wasteland, keeping to the shadows to avoid the roving gangs of cannibal raiders.

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A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.
“On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t li...

I don't see how deaf people dont join gangs.

They'd be good at the gang signs

Where does an Italian gang live?

In the "Spaghetto"

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What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs?

Bikings

How do you announce that a psychic little person has escaped from prison?

"A small medium is at large."

Bonus:
A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”

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A lady is trying to join a biker gang...

Biker guy: "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her: "No, but I been swung around by the tits."

I heard the gangs fighting again yelling, “THE RAVIOLI IS OURS.” And, “NO ITS NOT.” I questioned why they always fought

Then I remembered it’s because I’m in the spaghetto

What's the tastiest drug gang?

MSG-13

A guy dies and is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter...

... and St. Peter tells him, “Hang on a sec… getting into Heaven isn’t a big deal… I just need to find a good deed you've done in your life… and you’re in.”

And with that, St. Peter starts leafing through this guy’s Book of Life. It’s a thick book, but he’s not finding anything. He gets to th...

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Did you hear about the gang of furries who savagely beat a homeless person?

Fucking animals.

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What do they say, when you're accepted into the PISS gang?

Urine

Yesterday I saw some kid getting ganged up behind the school by 4 other kids.

As a senior, I have experienced bullying myself so I immediately jump in.

That kid got no chance against 5 of us.

Why do blind people hate skydiving?

Because it scares the hell out of their dogs!

Credit: Paddy's gang

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Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

What’s the difference between the police and a gang?

Only one can kill you legally

Why do Mexican gang members usual flunk school?

Cause they don't turn in their essays.

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Why don't street gangs listen to country music??

Every time they hear "hoedown!!", they think a prostitute got shot in a drive-by.

Just a week after joining the Bloods, a rival gang member tied me to his bumper and dragged me around town.

It was a Crip-pulling experience.

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

What do you get if you cross a mob boss, a gang leader, and a drug dealer?

Killed

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I got jumped by a gang the other day. The saying, "There's strength in numbers" is true.

I beat the ever-living shit out of them with a 2x4 !

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries ...

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lio...

A PSA

I need to give everyone a warning. I was at the local Home Depot getting back into my truck where three hot young women came up to me and started rubbing their bodies all over me. Things got hot and heavy and a good time was had by all. I was heading home and I found that my wallet was missing! <...

Sureño gang members are probably the most literate of criminal gangs in the USA

They're always talking about essays

I've been transferred to Baltimore...

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are te...

What do you call a necrophelic gang-bang?

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Did you hear about the deaf man who escaped a murderous gang of mute mime artists?

Yeah, he saw them coming.

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don’t we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it “synchronizing our cycles.”

Urgent message to all older men...

There has been a terrible spate of robberies by a gang of young women. Their MO is to pull you over on the road and hitch a ride. They always wear skimpy bikinis, then start to rub themselves on you while you're driving in order to distract you. One of them then sneakily steals your wallet. I have a...

A Hippo wants to join the local hippo gang

While speaking with the gang leader he's told in order to join the gang he must have respect for his brothers and impeccable manners.
He nods his head and let's the leader know he was raised in a noble, high class family. These things came easy to him.

The hippo struts out of the leaders r...

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Four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. Their last assignment was to terrorize some Jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon.

They failed their final assignment because the rabbi saw them when they first arrived. He had the four skins immediately removed before they caused any trouble.

A Mexican gang member stole a train for some crazy reason...

Police still don't know anything besides the fact that he has a loco motive.

A biker gang comes into a transport cafe

and start picking on a little middle-aged man just sitting down to an all-day breakfast. They steal most of it, spit in his tea, and pull away his chair from under him, until eventually he gives up and walks out silently.

They laugh loudly and say to the waitress "He wasn't much of a man, was...

What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca?

"Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."

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Retired nurse wants to join biker gang

This retired nurse wanted to join a biker gang. It was in the 70’s and times were different. They had to interview her first, to see if she was tough enough. They said that they had to ask her 3 questions. The biker asked her if she drank. She replied “Hell yes I drink! I was at the bar last night...

I wish I was in a gang...

So I would know what to do with my hands in pictures!

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

What did Pablo Escobar say to Scooby-Doo and the gang when they finally caught him?

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids.

A gang made up of domesticated wheat, barley and hops plants are reported to have been looting and rioting all over the country

Police say they are farmed and dangerous.

You know the good thing about gangs?

They carpool

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Why do gang bangers have so many babymamas?

Cause all they do is pull up, they don't pull out

How much did it cost the Australian cowboy to purchase his gang of marsupials?

A buck a 'roo.

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A gang of stray dogs is hanging out together in the local dog park...

A rottweiler, a great dane, a labrador and of course a tiny chihuahua just glad to be accepted by such high company. They're discussing the sorts of things male dogs discuss when a babelicious poodle struts herself on up. A real high breed, classy bitch.
"Hello boys," She greets, "I tell you w...

What was the Scooby-Gang considered after the Olympics?

Gold-Medllists

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the gang that smuggles viagra in their stomachs?

The cops are on the look out for a group of hardened criminals.

My girlfriend said she would break up with me if I said another Scooby-Doo quote.

My last words to her were “Alright, let’s split up gang.”

I'm thinking about joining a gang...

that way I always know what to do with my hands in pictures.

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

Gang bangs always get a bad rap on the news...

People fail to realize that 9/10 people enjoy them. The numbers don’t lie.

There was once a thug who was in the scariest gang...

His original name was Con Dria, but soon he went by a different name in his gang. They called him Mighto, and he was the thug that did most of the crimes. From dealing drugs to robbing to Kidnapping. He did whatever was necessary to help out his gang.

However, after he accidentally ran over ...

One day St. Peter saw a street gang walking up to the Pearly Gates

St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some low-life, thieving street gang members at the Gates. What do I do?"  

God relied, "Just do what you normally do with that type; redirect them."

St. Peter went back to carry out the order, and all of a sudden he went running back yelli...

Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it.

Jesus took the wheel.

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A team of thugs broke in to the Pfizer plant and stole all the viagra

Police say to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a gang of mime artists last night...

They did unspeakable things to him.

I heard about the gangster with a weak stomach

He was throwing up gang signs

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