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Gang Jokes

What’s the difference between a gang bang and a joke?

Will Smith won’t let his wife be in a joke.

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A sweet, little old lady walks into a bar frequented by the baddest biker gang around.

She walks up to the leader, a real mountain of a man, and say she wants to join. He can barely contain his laughter, and decides to have some fun with her before he tells her off.

"Do you even own a bike?" he asks.

"I do. It's parked right outside."

"Do you swear?"

"More ...

Iron deficiency gang, rise up!

But not too fast.

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A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

I Was Kidnapped By A Gang Of Mimes, Once

They did unspeakable things.

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

A gang of bikers are riding down the road.

A gang of bikers are riding down the road when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge. They decide to pull over to see what is going on.

The biker boss gets off his bike and asks the girl what she is doing.

"I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this bridge." She Replies.
<...

Yesterday I saw some kid getting ganged up behind the school by 4 other kids.

As a senior, I have experienced bullying myself so I immediately jump in.

That kid got no chance against 5 of us.

a sheriff was abducted by a gang of outlaws

They tightened him up in a tent and let his horse free

Later that evening the horse entered the tent when no one was watching, the sheriff whispered something in its ear

Later that night the horse came back with a young lady on its back, she spent the night with the sheriff and left b...

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An 80 year old grandma wants to join an outlaw biker gang

The gang leader says "Well, do you have a bike?"

"Sure! I just bought a new Harley!"

"Are you ok with drugs?"

"I should hope so, I take 20 pills a day!"

"Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

"No, but I got swung around by the tits once!"

What do you call a necrophelic gang-bang?

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

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Did you hear Peter Dinklage joined a gang

It was the 3’6” Mafia

Yes, I know I’m going to hell.

The Peanuts Gang had a crossover with the WWE

Linus: "I'm up against John Cena."

Lucy: "I'm gonna slug the Undertaker."

Schroeder: "I'm fighting Roman Reigns."

Charlie Brown: "I got the Rock."

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Yo mama so fat, when she has sex with multiple men its not called a gang bang,

Its called a team-effort

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

There's a gang going through town, systematically shoplifting clothes in order of size.

Police say they are still at large.

I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

gang recruitment

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "There's a gang in my area that recruits new members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments if they don't join," he tells the bartender. "But, enough about the church....."

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What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

2 Mexican gang members...

Carlos and Pepe; are lost in the desert after a drug deal gone wrong...

After days wandering aimlessly, Pepe finds a tree covered in pork. Bacon of all kinds and thicknesses, gammon, sausages and pulled pork hanging in place of leaves.

Not wanting to waste energy on what could potentia...

what is the one rule that a gang of vegan bros live by?

Leaf before beef

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

What do you call a disabled gang member?

A crip

I got mugged yesterday by a gang of six dwarves.

Not Happy.

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A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?', St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and ...

Why are white prison gangs the scariest?

Because they had a fair trial and still ended up in prison

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Today i saw a bunch of priests gang-banging

Holy Fuck!

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

A hauntourage ~

happy spooky season haha

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An East End gang boss had always been very careful with whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up...

He thought he'd been really clever in hiring a crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't
much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it quickly dawned on the boss that
someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it<...

I'm working on a book about vampire gangs.

I'm titling it the Bloods and the Crypts.

Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides.

Finally, some self awareness.

What are a gang member's favorite alternative medicine?

Homie-opathy

A man was arrested for killing gang members, then cutting off their feet and taking them

When apprehended, the man said he had heard it was profitable to sell Crip toes.

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A lady is trying to join a biker gang...

Biker guy: "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her: "No, but I been swung around by the tits."

We should get a gang of us and go to the shooting range.

And have a gang bang.

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

Sureño gang members are probably the most literate of criminal gangs in the USA

They're always talking about essays

A gang decided to rob a bank...

...they opened every vault and found only cups of yogurt. So they ate it all…

Next day, in CNN news:

"BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!”

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?

It was a blood vessel.

I wish I was in a gang...

So I would know what to do with my hands in pictures!

What is it called when a gang member kills his best friend?

Homiecide

I don't see how deaf people dont join gangs.

They'd be good at the gang signs

A Hippo wants to join the local hippo gang

While speaking with the gang leader he's told in order to join the gang he must have respect for his brothers and impeccable manners.
He nods his head and let's the leader know he was raised in a noble, high class family. These things came easy to him.

The hippo struts out of the leaders r...

Wheelchair gang rise up.

Oh wait...

What's the tastiest drug gang?

MSG-13

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

I was out on the west coast, trying to sell some guns to a street gang.

The gang member handed me a bag of severed toes with tiny $'s and tiny blue bandanas tied to them. I said "What's this?! No cash?!" He said it was the latest trend "Crip Toe Currency".

After a few months I wanted to buy a stolen sports car, but had no cash. My friend worked at a morgue so he ...

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Gang of three hijack truckload of Viagra.

Police are looking for three hardened criminals.

How did little Timmy know what gang to join?

He went for a Blood test

What do you call a gang of racist chickens?

The cluck cluck clan.

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Did you hear about the gang of furries who savagely beat a homeless person?

Fucking animals.

Might have to join a gang to survive this

I didn't realize staying at home in self isolation with my kids was going to be this tough.

Why do Mexican gang members usual flunk school?

Cause they don't turn in their essays.

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What do they say, when you're accepted into the PISS gang?

Urine

You know how some gangs beat up new members to initiate them?

I might be in like 12 gangs.

My grandad said there’s gangs at his retirement village

The blood clots and the cripples

Metlife dropped the Peanuts gang because Peppermint Patty was going behind their back to negotiate with Charles Schwab.

Can't blame her though...she really likes to Talk To Chuck.

I tried to win an autographed picture of the Mystery Gang on eBay.

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling bids.

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

**Every** Scooby-Doo **episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.**

Why did Ponyboy Curtis and his gang refuse to visit the 2014 Winter Olympics?

Because they were in “Soc”-hi.

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

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Why do gang bangers have so many babymamas?

Cause all they do is pull up, they don't pull out

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What do you call a male chicken in a gang?

A hard cock.

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The Mystery Gang have a quiz night.

Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby decide to have a quiz, and split into two teams. Fred is the quizmaster.

Velma and Daphne are in one team, Shaggy and Scooby in the other.

Fred: Okay, Daph and Velma, Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals?

Scooby: Rhino!

Fr...

What did Pablo Escobar say to Scooby-Doo and the gang when they finally caught him?

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids.

What was the Scooby-Gang considered after the Olympics?

Gold-Medllists

What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca?

"Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."

A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store

He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub

The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub wh...

A snail shop owner was attacked by a turtle gang. The police asked if he could describe the perpetrators, he said

I don't know, it happened so fast.

A biker gang comes into a transport cafe

and start picking on a little middle-aged man just sitting down to an all-day breakfast. They steal most of it, spit in his tea, and pull away his chair from under him, until eventually he gives up and walks out silently.

They laugh loudly and say to the waitress "He wasn't much of a man, was...

In order to help win their gang war, the Bloods in LA have started accepting the severed feet of their enemies as a form of payment.

They’re calling it Crip Toe Currency.

What do you call a depressed gang member?

An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son

Police have arrested a gang of Corn Flakes that they alledge committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area. A Police spokesman described them as...

....cereal offenders.

I was attacked by a gang of flying nuns...

It was a real Cloister Flock!

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An old lady wants to join a biker gang.

An old lady wants to join a biker gang so she goes down to the local biker bar and talks to the leader.

Biker: Lady I don't think you're cut out for this. We drink around the clock over here.

Old lady: That's not a problem. It may not look like it but I drink a fifth of Jack at night.<...

There was once a thug who was in the scariest gang...

His original name was Con Dria, but soon he went by a different name in his gang. They called him Mighto, and he was the thug that did most of the crimes. From dealing drugs to robbing to Kidnapping. He did whatever was necessary to help out his gang.

However, after he accidentally ran over ...

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A woman decided to join a biker gang to see what it was like...

After talking with the club president, a burly tough-looking guy, she was told that she was going to be asked some questions that would be used to decide if she qualified. She had never done anything illegal and had no idea what they expected, so she decided to put on her best bad girl act to impres...

How does a ghost gang bang end?

With boo-kakke.

Gang bangs always get a bad rap on the news...

People fail to realize that 9/10 people enjoy them. The numbers don’t lie.

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