The 81+ Best Gang Jokes

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A sweet, little old lady walks into a bar frequented by the baddest biker gang around.

She walks up to the leader, a real mountain of a man, and say she wants to join. He can barely contain his laughter, and decides to have some fun with her before he tells her off.

"Do you even own a bike?" he asks.

"I do. It's parked right outside."

"Do you swear?"

"More ...

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

What’s the difference between a gang bang and a joke?

Will Smith won’t let his wife be in a joke.

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A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

a sheriff was abducted by a gang of outlaws

They tightened him up in a tent and let his horse free

Later that evening the horse entered the tent when no one was watching, the sheriff whispered something in its ear

Later that night the horse came back with a young lady on its back, she spent the night with the sheriff and left b...

Iron deficiency gang, rise up!

But not too fast.

Yesterday I saw some kid getting ganged up behind the school by 4 other kids.

As a senior, I have experienced bullying myself so I immediately jump in.

That kid got no chance against 5 of us.

Why are white prison gangs the scariest?

Because they had a fair trial and still ended up in prison

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Did you hear Peter Dinklage joined a gang

It was the 3’6” Mafia

Yes, I know I’m going to hell.

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Yo mama so fat, when she has sex with multiple men its not called a gang bang,

Its called a team-effort

There's a gang going through town, systematically shoplifting clothes in order of size.

Police say they are still at large.

I Was Kidnapped By A Gang Of Mimes, Once

They did unspeakable things.

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An 80 year old grandma wants to join an outlaw biker gang

The gang leader says "Well, do you have a bike?"

"Sure! I just bought a new Harley!"

"Are you ok with drugs?"

"I should hope so, I take 20 pills a day!"

"Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

"No, but I got swung around by the tits once!"

I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

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What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs?

The bikings.

Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides.

Finally, some self awareness.

A man was arrested for killing gang members, then cutting off their feet and taking them

When apprehended, the man said he had heard it was profitable to sell Crip toes.

Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?

Atmospheric Pressure.

A gang of bikers are riding down the road.

A gang of bikers are riding down the road when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge. They decide to pull over to see what is going on.

The biker boss gets off his bike and asks the girl what she is doing.

"I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this bridge." She Replies.
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An East End gang boss had always been very careful with whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up...

He thought he'd been really clever in hiring a crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't
much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it quickly dawned on the boss that
someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it<...

The Peanuts Gang had a crossover with the WWE

Linus: "I'm up against John Cena."

Lucy: "I'm gonna slug the Undertaker."

Schroeder: "I'm fighting Roman Reigns."

Charlie Brown: "I got the Rock."

what is the one rule that a gang of vegan bros live by?

Leaf before beef

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

**Every** Scooby-Doo **episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.**

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Today i saw a bunch of priests gang-banging

Holy Fuck!

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

gang recruitment

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "There's a gang in my area that recruits new members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments if they don't join," he tells the bartender. "But, enough about the church....."

What do you call a necrophelic gang-bang?

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don’t we ride our bikes at the same speed?

Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it “synchronizing our cycles.”

Police have arrested a gang of Corn Flakes that they alledge committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area. A Police spokesman described them as...

....cereal offenders.

In order to help win their gang war, the Bloods in LA have started accepting the severed feet of their enemies as a form of payment.

They’re calling it Crip Toe Currency.

I just joined a gang called square root 2

Because I'm irrational

I was out on the west coast, trying to sell some guns to a street gang.

The gang member handed me a bag of severed toes with tiny $'s and tiny blue bandanas tied to them. I said "What's this?! No cash?!" He said it was the latest trend "Crip Toe Currency".

After a few months I wanted to buy a stolen sports car, but had no cash. My friend worked at a morgue so he ...

We should get a gang of us and go to the shooting range.

And have a gang bang.

I got mugged yesterday by a gang of six dwarves.

Not Happy.

What do you call a disabled gang member?

A crip

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

A snail shop owner was attacked by a turtle gang. The police asked if he could describe the perpetrators, he said

I don't know, it happened so fast.

What is it called when a gang member kills his best friend?

Homiecide

I used to be a gang member with the Bloods, but then I had a baby and realized I had to make some real changes in my life...

So now I'm with the Crips, and me and my little guy can finally watch Blue's Clues together.

have you heard about the emu who was kicked out of the emu gang?

he was ostrich-sized.

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

A hauntourage ~

happy spooky season haha

2 Mexican gang members...

Carlos and Pepe; are lost in the desert after a drug deal gone wrong...

After days wandering aimlessly, Pepe finds a tree covered in pork. Bacon of all kinds and thicknesses, gammon, sausages and pulled pork hanging in place of leaves.

Not wanting to waste energy on what could potentia...

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Did you hear about the gang of furries who savagely beat a homeless person?

Fucking animals.

What are a gang member's favorite alternative medicine?

Homie-opathy

Did you hear about the boat full of gang members?

It was a blood vessel.

What did Pablo Escobar say to Scooby-Doo and the gang when they finally caught him?

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids.

What do you get if you cross a mob boss, a gang leader, and a drug dealer?

Killed

Just a week after joining the Bloods, a rival gang member tied me to his bumper and dragged me around town.

It was a Crip-pulling experience.

I'm working on a book about vampire gangs.

I'm titling it the Bloods and the Crypts.

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

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A lady is trying to join a biker gang...

Biker guy: "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her: "No, but I been swung around by the tits."

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A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?', St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and ...

How did little Timmy know what gang to join?

He went for a Blood test

What do you call a gang of racist chickens?

The cluck cluck clan.

The biker gang is visiting one of their members in the hospital after his accident.

"How did you even crash?!"

"Well, it was late at night, and I was a bit buzzed, and I saw a pair of idiots riding on either side of the road. Thought I would just slip past between them and be fine."

"And?"

"It was a car."

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My mate and I were walking along when we noticed a gang of bat carrying youths in our way. He said "Quick! Pretend we're the police."

I sang 'Every breath you take' But we still got the shit kicked out of us.

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails.

The snails take his wallet and leave. The sloth regains his composure and goes straight to the police station.

The police officer says, "can you describe the gang for us?"

The sloth says, "I don't know. ...

You know how some gangs beat up new members to initiate them?

I might be in like 12 gangs.

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What do they say, when you're accepted into the PISS gang?

Urine

Why do Mexican gang members usual flunk school?

Cause they don't turn in their essays.

The Peanuts gang goes to a WWE show, each one randomly picking a WWE legend from a hat to dress up as for the show. Linus: "I got John Cena!" Peppermint Patty: "I got Becky Lynch! Who'd you get, Chuck?"

Charlie Brown: "I got The Rock."

A gang decided to rob a bank...

...they opened every vault and found only cups of yogurt. So they ate it all…

Next day, in CNN news:

"BIGGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED!”

Might have to join a gang to survive this

I didn't realize staying at home in self isolation with my kids was going to be this tough.

I don't see how deaf people dont join gangs.

They'd be good at the gang signs

I heard the gangs fighting again yelling, “THE RAVIOLI IS OURS.” And, “NO ITS NOT.” I questioned why they always fought

Then I remembered it’s because I’m in the spaghetto

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I got jumped by a gang the other day. The saying, "There's strength in numbers" is true.

I beat the ever-living shit out of them with a 2x4 !

Did you hear about the deaf man who escaped a murderous gang of mute mime artists?

Yeah, he saw them coming.

I wish I was in a gang...

So I would know what to do with my hands in pictures!

My grandad said there’s gangs at his retirement village

The blood clots and the cripples

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An armed gang intercepted and drove away a truckload of viagra pills.

Police are on the hunt for hardened criminals..

Wheelchair gang rise up.

Oh wait...

What’s the difference between the police and a gang?

Only one can kill you legally

How much did it cost the Australian cowboy to purchase his gang of marsupials?

A buck a 'roo.

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

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A woman decided to join a biker gang to see what it was like...

After talking with the club president, a burly tough-looking guy, she was told that she was going to be asked some questions that would be used to decide if she qualified. She had never done anything illegal and had no idea what they expected, so she decided to put on her best bad girl act to impres...

They are not throwing gang signs.............

They are just Hand Contorsionists.

What's the tastiest drug gang?

MSG-13

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Why don't street gangs listen to country music??

Every time they hear "hoedown!!", they think a prostitute got shot in a drive-by.

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Four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. Their last assignment was to terrorize some Jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon.

They failed their final assignment because the rabbi saw them when they first arrived. He had the four skins immediately removed before they caused any trouble.

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The Mystery Gang have a quiz night.

Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby decide to have a quiz, and split into two teams. Fred is the quizmaster.

Velma and Daphne are in one team, Shaggy and Scooby in the other.

Fred: Okay, Daph and Velma, Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals?

Scooby: Rhino!

Fr...

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A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a gang of mime artists last night...

They did unspeakable things to him.

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