What do you call a metric cookie?

A gram cracker.

Nearly every country in the world uses metric, except for America...

because America has a foot fetish.

Why don’t podiatrist use the metric system?

Because they get paid by the foot.

We Americans know how to embrace the metric system

I'm an American. When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "The metric system is gonna be big. Support it and use it - the whole nine yards - every inch of the way."

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

Why do Americans still use imperial measurement system where almost the entire world has transitioned to metric?

Not necessarily, they've been using 9mm at schools.

What is the metric system's favorite Halloween costume?

A skeleton

.

.

(Scale of ten)

Imagine the US switched to the metric system.

Everyone would be kilogramming your mom.

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble

In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

What would happen if the U.S switched to metric overnight?

There would be mass confusion.

How do American school kids learn the metric system?

9 millimeters at a time

True reason why Europe has less COVID-19 cases than America: metric system.

Those extra 18cm of social distance help a lot!

Why are people who use the metric system so good at computer science?

Because they are pro-grammers.

America hasn’t fully adopted the metric system yet…

… but believe me, we’re slowly inching towards it.

I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system!

It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.

I'm 5'8.5" and I'm not sure if it would be better to round it up or down on my dating profile

I can round down to 4'20" or round up to 69"

^^^post ^^^unavailable ^^^in ^^^metric

If American football switched to metric

They'd have to convert 4th and inches

Before you judge somebody who doesn't use the metric system...

You should walk 1.609344 kilometers in their shoes.

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

America's almost finished switching to the metric system.

But they still have miles to go.

There are two types of countries in this world.....

Those that use the metric system, and those that have set foot on the moon.

I know of someone who uses the metric system

I really want to metre

Metric system isn't popular in the United States?

Nonsense, just look how popular are two-liter bottles and nine-millimeter bullets

As an American and a runner, I love the metric system.

I can quit at 3.11 miles without feeling guilty

America could never switch to the metric system.

Kilometers Davis, how does that sound?

America is converting to metric units...

inch by inch.

It always makes me smile when people suggest switching to the metric system.

Or should it rather make me skilometer?

Why is Metric Better?

Imperial is lit, but Metric is Liter

An American lost a lot of weight

When he switched to metric system

What’s type of boat does the metric system hate?

Galleons

Useful Metric Equivalents

* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
* 52 = 1 decacards
* 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 10 m...

All of my European friends tell me I have a foot fetish.

I tell them, I’ll never understand the metric system.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was at the bar the other day...

...and suddenly, I feel a large slap on my ass.

Turning around, I spt the ugliest woman imaginable; she was large, heavily tattooed, and caked with metric tonnes of makeup.

She said to me, ‟Hey there, guy. I saw you over there and thought you should call me.”

I loked her over on...

Why does North Korea use the metric system?

How else will they have a Supreme Liter?

I heard the United States is slowly moving towards the metric system...

They're getting closer inch by inch

It’s amazing how popular Instagram is in America.

Didn’t think they liked the metric system.

Whats the single most important metric in brothel reviews?

Most bang for your buck

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hmmm Metric or Imperial?

"In metric, one milliliter of water occupies one cubic centimeter, weighs one gram, and requires one calorie of energy to heat up by one degree centigrade—which is 1 percent of the difference between its freezing point and its boiling point. An amount of hydrogen weighing the same amount has exactly...

Are you a metric unit of velocity?

Because you make me want to km/s

Why don't anarchists accept the metric system?

They refuse to have liters.

Study finds Washington state residents consumed 175 metric tons of pot in 2013 (real news)

As a result, the state is changing it's slogan to "Whoa Dude."

It's depressing to hear that a child can drown in just 2 inches of water.

I mean it's 2019. Why aren't we using metric yet?

I love the metric system.

It's the best by an absolute 1.6km

What do you call a metrically inclined elderly assassin?

A Killograndma.

My brother keeps saying that my friend Rick is 2 meters tall, but I KNOW he's closer to 6 feet.

He doesn't think I've metric.

Alligators can grow up to 15 metres...

The joke doesn’t work with the metric system...

I lost 80 pounds last week

I simply switched from imperial to metric

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call 1000 couples having an orgy?

A metric fuck ton.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.