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Reynolds Jokes

If Burt Reynolds gets cremated

He will be Burnt Reynolds

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you blue-ball Ryan Reynolds?

Call him green lantern right before he cums.

Ryan Reynolds would have been great as Jay Gatsby.

After all, he’s both Green Lantern and Deadpool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is Debbie Reynolds like my penis?

They both had a stroke when they saw Carrie Fishers body.

I work with a guy who looks like Burt Reynolds.

He's from Ghana so we call him Burnt Reynolds.

Ryan Reynolds, Randall Park, Birdy, Daisy Ridley, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Evans, Margot Robbie, Mark Ruffalo, Taylor Swift, and Donald Trump are playing Among Us.

They start by picking a color.

Trump declares he is Orange: “ I will be Orange because that’s my skin color!”

Daisy then adds, “If you wanna ridicule yourself then fine, I’ll pick blue.

Taylor Swift: “Cyan for the sky.”

Mark Ruffalo: “Hulk green, Hulk pick GREEEEEEN!”
...

Just saw a post about Stan Lee, Avicii, Stephen Hawking and Burt Reynolds.

It was a rip-post.

A girl wanted to get some tattoos….

She wanted a tattoo of Ryan Reynolds on the inside of her left upper thigh, and Brad Pitt on her inside upper right thigh. When the tattoo artist was finished, she was not happy with the results. She went out on the street, lifted up her skirt to the first person she saw and demanded to know “who do...

What does Deadpool call his condoms?

Reynolds Wrap

I had a brilliant plan to cover my neighbor's farm in plastic to destroy his business, but when I returned from the store with the cellophane, he had already enveloped my farm entirely with Reynolds wrap.

It seems my plot was foiled.

A man and his wife are bored watching TV when the wife gets an idea.

"I have a crazy idea." She says.

The husband bored out of his mind looks over to her and raises an eyebrow. "What that?"

The wife glances at the tv and bites her lip before turning back to him. "Well what if we both came up with a list of 3 people outside that, if we ever got the chan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul goes to school...

Paul goes to school...

Teacher announces, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable word. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Clara says " Att-ract-ive"

Miss Reynolds " Clara, that's great! well done!"

Barry "Dan-ger-ous"

Again Miss Reynolds ...

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike?

“Easy, Dad,” the boy replied. “I earned it hiking.” “Come on,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.” “That is the truth,” the boy replied.

“Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom.
He’d give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!”

What's the best way to wrap up 2016?

Debbie Reynolds Wrap.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

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