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Trusted Jokes

A man wanted to literally die with his $$$, so he trusted a third of his money to a Priest, a third to a Doctor, and a third to his Lawyer to bury him with it when he died.

After his death, at the man’s funeral the priest whispered to his dead body and placed a bag in his coffin. The doctor then proceeded to whisper to the body and placed a bag in there as well. Then the lawyer went and dropped off a bag and moved on.

As they were carpooling back from the funer...

Why can’t jazz musicians be trusted?

Because they always play sus chords.

The King was leaving his castle to fight in the Crusades. He left the key to his wife's chastity belt with his most trusted knight.

"God commands that I fight, but not even he can promise that I will return. If I die fighting in these holy wars, I leave it to you to release my wife to marry again." The king mounted his horse and rode off the horizon.

As he nearly rode out of sight, he turned back and looked at his kingdom...

I've never trusted lizards...

right from the gecko.

I've never fully trusted stairs

They're always up to something

Graphing calculators cannot be trusted.

Theyre plotting something, I can feel it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that your ass can’t be trusted?

It’s always talking shit behind your back.

I hate hostage negotiations, where you have to prove you're a trusted identity, and you have to meet up at some out-of-the-way location.

Sorry, I meant postage negotiations.

What was the least trusted company in 2020?

Goodyear

I've never trusted an amateur masseuse.

They just rub me the wrong way.

0.81818181818 is not to be trusted.

he's got something to do with 9/11.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know, I never really trusted my toilet.

He is just so frequently full of shit.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping trip

After a hearty meal and a good bottle of wine, they lay down to sleep.
Suddenly, in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes his trusted companion and asks "Watson, what do you see?" Rubbing his sleepy eyes, Watson answers: "I see millions and millions of stars."
"Correct, Watson, and what do...

I’ve never trusted tectonic plates

They’re too shifty

Clydesdales are the least trusted of all horses.

So says the most recent Gallop Poll.

Why was the 89 degree angle not trusted

He's never right

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