Loyalty is very important for my wife…

My girlfriend doesn’t care. … …

Funny how different sisters can be.

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Loyalty

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new...

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Three angels are given gifts from god based on their loyalty and appreciation towards their spouses.

The first angel confesses that he often cheats on his wife and believes she would be better off....to be the equivalent of dead in heaven.

The second angel admits that his wife can be a bitch sometimes but still is willing to stick with her for eternity. Provided she stays in shape of course....

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A sailor is recruited onto a Pirate ship...

After swearing loyalty to the Captain and crew, and receiving his daily list of duties, the new recruit is brought up onto the poop deck to briefly meet the Captain. The Captain, a rugged-looking pirate with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye-patch, is an intimidating-looking man indeed.
<...

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A guy gets on a crowded bus.

The seats are full, except one empty seat next to a very attractive nun, so he decides to sit next to her. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and storms off the bus

The bus driver approaches the man and says, "There is a way you can screw that nun....

Loyalty Test...

Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby..🔻

Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people

Total silence...

"Have you ever cheated on me?"

An old married couple was sitting on a bench in a park. They have seen plenty of struggles and success in their long life together, and now were enjoying retirement.

"I have been faithful to you all these years, darling", the man continued, "I have sometimes wondered about your loyalty, but I...

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a Cat have died

All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

The German Shepherd Says: "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my master."

"Good," says God, "then sit down on my right side."

"Doberman, what do you believe in?" Asks God.

The Doberman Ans...

The Pope and Kim Jong Un were having a meeting in a 20 story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, the Pope called his guard Dave into the room, opened the window and said, "Dave, jump down."

Dave replied in tears, "Your Holiness, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

The Pope...

Boudreaux, Tibideaux, and Pierre want to work for the FBI...

But being 3 Cajuns from the south proved a challenge, since they weren't the brightest bunch, but they tried their hardest. After taking courses for 2 years the three had a good chance of passing.

It all came to a final test, a loyalty test. The instructor said to the Cajuns, "The final test ...

3 Secret Service agents are on their final day of training

They’re led into a darkened room. The commanding officer has them facing the opposite way of him. He walks up to the first potential agent from behind and speaks to his ear; loudly enough so all 3 can hear, but in a smooth, calculated tone, almost whispering:

“You’ve passed every test up to ...

Ben Shapiro was loyal to Steam

All his friends, family, and co-workers knew that Ben would defend Steam in any argument, claiming it to be the superior game launcher, and the only one people should use. His loyalty was unmoving, and even gained him some branding deals with Valve.

&#x200B;

One day while Ben was o...

I was at my girlfriends house, waiting for her to come home.

Her really hot sister came up to me and started flirting with me. She started stripping and told me she wouldn’t tell my girlfriend. I did the right thing and left the house without a word. My girlfriend was outside congratulating me on passing her test of loyalty

I learned a valuable lesson ...

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The King and the Fucker on the bridge

Once upon a time there lived a king who wanted to test the loyalty of his subjects. He raised heavy taxes on his people and demanded high rent for the land.

There were no complaints. None.

The king summoned one of his officers and instructed him to collect one gold coin from everyone p...

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For all those who don't get the bus driver comments on every post here

First off, I know this is an old joke. It's like the oldest joke. But on every other joke that's posted on this sub, it gets referenced, and there's always at least one reply who doesn't get it. I've explained the reference to like 4 people today and this seems like a better solution. So here it i...

How To Ask for A Raise

EMPLOYEE: Excuse me, sir, may I talk with you?

BOSS: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

EMPLOYEE: Well, sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over 10 years.

BOSS: Yes...

EMPLOYEE: I won’t beat around the bush, sir. I would lik...

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3 men are in training for a position with the CIA...

All 3 of them have passed every written assessment, cleared all of the physical trials, and only have to face one final test.

The first of the three walks into the room and faces the panel of examiners. They hand him a gun and tell him all he has to do now is prove his loyalty by entering the...

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Three men are joining the secret service.

They've completed every test and overcome every obstacle. Only one remains. The instructor takes the first man, brings him to a door and hands him a gun.

"Behind this door is your wife. You must prove your loyalty, your dedication to the service and your ability to follow orders, no matter wh...

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A CEO gathers his staff..

10 Male employees are present in the convention room. The CEO clears his throat and starts the meeting: *"Good afternoon gentlemen. As you know, I am leaving for my business meeting tomorrow and will be absent for 10 days."*

The employees are all nodding in agreement.

The CEO pauses ...

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Buddy is down to the final interview of finally realizing his lifelong dream of becoming an FBI Agent...

It’s down to him and 2 other candidates. The three candidates sit in a room together waiting to be called in for the final interview. The first candidate goes in only to reappear minutes later upset and storms out muttering something about “taking things too far”. The second candidate goes in, again...

TIFU when my mom caught me drinking her Vodka...she made me drink the entire bottle to teach me a lesson

about brand loyalty

King Arthur must depart to the battlefield.

He requests that the Knights of the Round Table remained within the castle walls in order to protect its citizens should an attack arise. Skeptical of his Queen's loyalty, and the men's self-control, the King asks Merlin to cast a spell on her.

*Should anyone lie with this woman in bed,
th...

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This morning I had a job interview

It was for an upper management job, so they started directly with the tough trick questions:

"For your CFO post, you have to choose between three assistants. We asked them what would they do if they caught you committing embezzlement and fraud, and these were their answers:

1 - "My loy...

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An English man, An Irish man and a Scotish man.

An English man, An Irish man, and a Scotish man are sick to death for working on the same building site for years now.
The English man Says "Here look at this" pointing at a newspaper ad "Join the Secret service today."
"not very Secret then," says the Irish man.
"no ya goon it's like a Sec...

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The nun and the bus driver

So one day a man gets on a bus and runs into the most beautiful nun he’s ever met. He asked the nun to come back to his house, the nun replies with no and gets off the bus. The man goes up to the bus driver and asks him “how can I get with the nun?” The bus driver replies, “every day at 8pm the nun ...

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Three women are near completing their CIA Academy training...

A white girl, a black girl, and a native American girl. The three must each pass a final test. Each is told that their husband is a foreign secret agent, and that they must kill their respective spouses to prove their loyalty. The white woman first is handed a pistol and enters the room wher...

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FBI interview

The FBI was hiring and after many applicants, narrowed their choices down to 3 men. Each told to appear for a face to face interview and for them to bring their girlfriend/fiancé/wife.


The first man is a 25 year old, just married, still fresh from college. Him and his wife are sitting cl...

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A head of state is suspicious about his wife

A head of state is suspicious about his wife cheating with a member of his cabinet.

So one night he inserts a razor blade inside her and after a week has passed ordered all the members to remove their pants. To his surprise everyone had his dick cut except the Minister of Defense. He then tha...

My parents once made me smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting.

To teach me about brand loyalty.

Three men arrive at a checkpoint near the gates of heaven

The first man walks up to god, who is reading the summary of his deeds before deciding which vehicle he is to use to drive to heavens gates with.

"I see you were quite unfaithful with your wife, cheating on her a total of three times." The man looks down in shame. "You are to drive up to heav...

[NSFW] The best joke ever told to me by a priest.

On the day of the Crucifixion, Jesus was on the Cross, surrounded by a ring of legionaires, while his follows stood just outside the range of their spears. Among them is Simon Peter, Rock of the Church. Faintly on the wind, Simon Peter hears his Master's voice. "Peter, Peter..." heedless of the dang...

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The CIA test

(My uncle told me this joke a long time ago so forgive me for messing it up if I do)

There were 3 men who were in training for the CIA, he was at the final stage of his training to become an agent.

They give the first man a gun and send him into a room. In the room he sees his wife tie...

Things we should be learning from dogs:

1) Love
2) Trust
3) Loyalty

What we learnt: POSITION

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Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting

They had a delightful conversation, until Putin wanted to show off the loyalty of his men. Putin ordered one of his bodyguards to jump off the window. The bodyguard seemed hesitant, and horrified, he begged for mercy.

"Please sir! I got a wife and kids!"

Putin seemed unsatisfied, but ...

Stalin and Roosevelt

Stalin and Roosevelt are chatting at a meeting on the top floor of a building.

In a heated argument they decided to test their bodyguard's loyalty.

Roosevelt goes first and tells his bodyguard "Jump out the window" to which the bodyguard responds "No I cant... What about my fam...

The Job Interview

Three men were sitting in the waiting room waiting to be interviewed. The first man was called in.
"Mr. Azarov, this is a job opening doing wetwork for the KGB. We need to test your loyalty and your determination. In the next room is your wife. Kill her."
The interviewer pushes a pistol ac...

A husband and wife are watching a movie

The film is about a widower struggling to raise children alone.

The wife turns to here husband and says, "If I die, I want you to remarry, so the kids will have a mother."

He says, "Yeah, I guess that would be best."

She gets mad at his lack of loyalty. "Just like that, huh? You...

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Three men want to work for the CIA...

Three friends decide they want to leave their jobs and go work for the CIA. Somehow they all manage to wrangle an interview, and the first guy is in a room with the chief of the CIA (this is all made possible.. because it's a joke). Chief says, "So, you want to be in the CIA, do you?" And the man re...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

My parenrs were very principled people...

When I was young, they caught me smoking one Newport. They proceeded to force me to smoke the whole pack, just to teach me a valuable lesson..


..about brand loyalty.


_ credits to Anthony Jeselnik

Three men die and go to heaven.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that he will ask each of them a question and that their answer will determine how they will get around in heaven.

He asks the first man, “Have you ever cheated on your wife?” The man answers, “No, never!” St. Peter says, “Good man, I will give you a F...

Infinity loop

a woman walks into her hypnotherapists office and says " Doctor, I have been loyal to my husband for 12 years but, last night I broke that loyalty and had an affair. I just want you to make me forget it happened". The Doctor said " Not again"

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It's the last day of CIA special ops training...

From an original pool of 20 prospective spies only 3 are left. For the final test, they approach each of the final candidates separately.
The first candidate is given a gun. They tell him "Congratulations on making it to the final stage of testing. In that room over there we have your wife wai...

CIA Test gone horribly wrong

Three CIA agents, two male and one female, were called in for a briefing. An agent was needed to go on a top secret mission and that agent could have nothing but absolute loyalty to the goal.

"To test that absolute loyalty," said the director, "we have put your spouses in the other room. Take...

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Wendy

A man proposes to his longtime girlfriend, Wendy. He says: Wendy, I love you so much will you please be my wife? Which she replies: No, I will not be your wife until you prove your undying loyalty to me. You have to prove that you will never cheat on me or leave me.

He thinks about it for a c...

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There was an engaged couple...

talking to a priest about the possibility of getting married in his church.

"You two look like fine young lovers, and I would be happy to marry you, but first you must prove your loyalty to one another by abstaining from sex for a month."

The couple agreed and they all planned to meet ...