A dying man wants to prevent his family from inheriting his wealth. So he entrusts the money to his three closest friends: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer.
He gives each friend an envelope with $1,000,000 in cash, and makes them all swear to bury the money with him when he dies. They all shake hands and solemnly agree.
A few months later the man dies, and the three friends place their envelopes in the casket.
Later, privately, the doctor...
When I die I'm going to entrust my money to a Nigerian prince
...on the condition that he can find a valid US bank account to transfer it to.
Drinking an entire bottle of wine in under an hour is a lot like entrusting a secret to a unreliable person;
It's bound to come up sooner or later!
Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.
Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"
"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."
A man wanted to literally die with his $$$, so he trusted a third of his money to a Priest, a third to a Doctor, and a third to his Lawyer to bury him with it when he died.
After his death, at the man’s funeral the priest whispered to his dead body and placed a bag in his coffin. The doctor then proceeded to whisper to the body and placed a bag in there as well. Then the lawyer went and dropped off a bag and moved on.
As they were carpooling back from the funer...
An arrogant, wealthy man passed away one day
In his will, he entrusted $50,000 in cash to each of his closest advisers: his accountant, his doctor, and his lawyer. In his will, he instructed that each of them was to put all of the money into an envelope and place it into his coffin at his funeral, so he could have his money even after death....
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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...
Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.
They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...
A king was going on a conquest on a faraway land
He was going to be leaving his young wife in their castle for who knows how long. He thought to himself: "I don't know how long i will be away but i need to make sure no one will have intercourse with my wife while i am away".
So he put a chastity belt on his wife & kept the key. He begg...
A time traveler comes back from the year 2045
I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...
Life Rules For My Son
1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially i...
A man hears a knock at his door, and is surprised to see
a polar bear standing before him.
"Hi," says the white bear, "I'm the bear of good news. A distant relative of yours passed away a while ago, but it turns out he entrusted a large fortune to you in his will."
"Great," says the man. "Thanks for the good news."
Later, the man hear...
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It’s parade day in Russia and 3 military thieves are locked in a jail cell awaiting their punishment.
All the other males in the army are either partaking in the parade or out celebrating their national pride and getting drunk on vodka so they have cleverly entrusted their female counterparts to continue running things whilst they are gone.
A female Lieutenant asks her superior, “How are we t...
So there’s this old, old zookeeper who is nearing retirement.
In fact, she’s so old that she has been employed at the zoo since it first opened. Since she’s been there so long, the zoo has entrusted her with taking care of the two most valuable exhibits in the zoo.
First, she is responsible for feeding an ancient lion. This lion is actually so old that...
I have a good friend who I call Mitch.
I entrusted him with taking care of my bunny while I was on vacation.
However when I got back, he posted on Facebook that he was at a party.
So I drove there as fast as I could, meanwhile I was thinking to myself, 'Mitch better have my bunny.'
A muscular man walks into the bar with a tiny ragged doll
"What can I get you?" the bartender asks. “A whiskey, neat, keep it coming” the muscular man orders. Drink after drink, the bartender finally gathered the courage to ask; "Why did you carry that tiny ragged doll around? No offence sir, but one would normally assume it’s not your...
The Queen and the Chastity Belt
One day, King Arthur had to leave the kingdom for an extended period. He took his most trusted knight, Lancelot, aside for a moment. "Lancelot, I fear Guinevere is not entirely faithful to me. Therefore, I have placed a chastity belt upon her. Now I entrust you alone with the key", and wi...
A millionaire is on his deathbed...
A millionaire is on his deathbed, about to lose his battle with cancer. In his final moments, he asks that his Priest, his doctor, and his lawyer come to see him. The three enter his room and walk up to his bed.
The dying man looks at the three and says "I have brought you all here for one ...