UPJOKE
trackroadfootpathbridlewayhikingbywaytowpathpathdragspoorpedestrianwalkwaysidewalkroutemountain biking

Trailed Jokes

A woman walks into the Social Worker's office, trailed by 15 kids

WOW, the social worker exclaims, Are they ALL yours?

Yeah they're all mine, the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, Sit down Terry. All the children rush to find seats.

Well, says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young university student is failing her history class

So she decides to see if she can, shall we say, convince her professor to give her a passing grade. She does her hair and makeup, puts on a skimpy dress and heels, and goes to his office.

"Professor," she says, "I'm afraid that I might fail your class."

"That's true," he says, barely ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear walks in to a bar....

A bear, seeking advice, walks in to a bar and sits down. When approached by the bartender, he asks for a honey blonde ale and a minute of his time.

"Sure, go ahead," said the bartender.

The bear continued. "You see, before I came here, I was really hungry. I saw a friend of mine with...

Age Of innocence

“Mommy, my turtle’s dead,” Andrew sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her.

His mother kissed him on the head and said, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, and then have a nice burial ceremony in the backyard. After that, we’ll go out ...

An Iraq War Veteran Walks into a Bar

He quietly takes a seat and asks for a bourbon, double. The bartender obliges, and notices the man's dog-tags while he pours the drink. "First one's on the house – for your service." The veteran nods in approval and reaches towards his glass, but drops it just as he picks it up, spilling the whiskey...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lich walks into a tavern

The whole place fell silent. The customers have heard tales of their existence, but most have never seen a lich before. The lich plops himself down at the bar counter, a few seats away from a human warrior and his busty mage companion. They exchanged looks.

"Whoa," the mage whispered. "It's a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently, I've managed to get really into crosswords.

Like those really cryptic ones you get in the weekend papers, with clues like 'fish worn on head, (5, 7,)', and stuff like that. I get really intense about them, though, and can't stand starting a new one until I've finished the last one. I refuse to use dictionaries and things on principle, and I'l...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.