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Trails Jokes

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Guys are now sending dirty pics against a background of the night sky with star trails.

They're calling it schlong exposure photography

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

If mental asylums invested in walking trails for their patients,

They could really get away with calling them psycho paths.

What do you call walking trails behind a mental facility?

Psycho-paths

A blonde and brunette rob a bank

A blonde and brunette decide to rob a bank. "So you remember the plan?" the brunette asks. The blonde smiles and nods. "I'll keep the car ready.. Good luck!"

The blonde runs in, mask on, and pistol in one hand. 5 minutes pass and nothing. The brunette glances at her watch nervously. 10...

You're lost in the middle of the woods at night, alone. The sky is cloudy, there are no trails, no map, no cell phone and no GPS. No sign of a city in any direction. How do you get back to civilization?

You tell an old joke out loud, wait a couple of minutes and follow any of the angry redditors shouting "repost!" back to civilization.

I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh.

It's a running joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of th...

One thing I wonder about chemtrails is...

...what happens when they fall off the edge of the world?

Three blondes are walking when they come across tracks. The first blondes says “I know these, they’re deer tracks!” The second says “No! They’re bear tracks” Finally the third speaks up and says “Your both wrong! They’re obviously fox trails!”

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

I Went To a Cemetery Today

With my grandparents. I have been before, and there are such beautiful flowers planted and some pretty hiking trails that go behind the cemetery. I was telling my grandparents about it, and my grandmother said in the most excited tone “I’m just dying to get in there!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Siberian joke about a bear

A tourist comes to Siberia for a hike, but wishes to be safe from bears. A local man proposes him to buy a whistle

Tourist: But how do I use it?

Local man: Whistle, the bear will flee, and keep away from bear trails.

Tourist: How do I know where are the trails?

Local ...

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Patrick brings home his new fiancé to meet his parents.

Patrick brings home his new fiancé, Stacy, and introduces her to his parents, who are staunchly Irish Catholic and very old fashioned.

His parents and Stacy get along very well and they have a nice dinner together. After dinner, they are in the living room exchanging stories, laughs, and bee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar....

.....and sees a sign behind the bar, "free drinks for life if you can pass the three trails". Curious by this the man asks the bartender what the trails are.

"First you have to chug a fifth of fire water. Then we have an alligator with a sore tooth in the back and you have to remove the tooth...

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