When Kathy Griffin was 10 years old, she stood up at the dinner table and announced to her family that she was going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian. They all laughed in her face.

No one is laughing now.

Bad Children's Books Titles

Here are some bad children's books titles I found in my jokes archive. Can you think of others?

1. "You Were an Accident"
2. "Strangers Have the Best Candy"
3. "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
4. "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
5. "The Attention Deficit Disorder Assoc...

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco.

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the pl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four mothers and their young children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He t...

I went to Home Depot and a guy walked up and asked,

"Can I help you with anything?" I said, "I'm looking to buy a table saw." He said "Do you have a particular model in mind?" and I said, "Well yeah, Kathy Ireland, but for now let's talk about a table saw."

Newlyweds

Jimmy and Kathy are newlyweds in the honeymoon suite on their wedding night, and Kathy's in the bathrom. As Jimmy's getting undressed he says to himself, "How am I going to tell her? How am I going to tell my new wife that I have the world's smelliest feet?" Then he throws his socks under the bed. K...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whoever coined the phrase: 'nothing lasts forever', ?

0bviously never tried having a wank over Kathy Griffin

Morality stories

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penis enlarger

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She’s 21, and her name’s Kathy.

Problem 67

Bob and Kathy, two construction workers on the roof of a building, are about to raise a keg of nails from the ground by means of a light rope passing over a light frictionless pulley 10.0 m above the ground. Bob weighs 900 N, Kathy 600 N, the keg 300 N, and the nails 600 N. Both workers slip off t...

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