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Oregon Jokes

A young woman was pulled over for speeding.

An Oregon state trooper walked over to her car window while flipping open his ticket book.

The young woman said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball."

He replied, "Oregon StateTroopers don't have balls."

There was a moment of silence.

And t...

My dog would have been great to bring in the Oregon Trail.

Her tail is a wagon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. “Terry?!” you say laughing, “Terry’s a girls name!” Without any hesitation, Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead.

You have died of dissin’ Terry :(

The house just voted to decriminalize marijuana and Oregon recently decriminalized hard drugs.

It looks like drugs is winning the war on drugs.

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Kiss

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip pri...

Over the next day, Oregon is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 118°F (47.78°C)

NOT cool.

How to retire when business is poor

Two elderly men met in a town in Florida, and began to talk to each other. It turned out both of them were from Oregon, and had owned small factories, and had now retired and moved to Florida.

"I had a factory that produced high-end furniture," said the first man. "Was successful for many yea...

Actually true: a guy in Oregon called the police today because he thought he was being robbed. Turned out the noise was his just Roomba getting trapped.

Seriously, look up the story if you don't believe me.

Anyway, it was all fine in the end. The alleged burglar made a clean getaway.

The year is 1835...

The year is 1835, you’re traversing the Oregon Trail. You and your horse come upon a man, you introduce yourself, and he tells you his name is Terry. You laugh at him, and tell him Terry is a woman’s name. He shoots you point blank.

You’ve died of Dissin’ Terry

I just saw Oregon has a drive-thru strip club. Today, we salute these frontline workers who are taking care of the Beaver State’s residents in response to COVID-19...

Heroes Twerk Here

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Timber Land

A young woman from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land, so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her....

I was playing an updated version of Oregon Trail voiced by Terry Crews.

I made the comment that he wasn’t a good voice actor, and the game abruptly ended. Apparently, I died of dissin’ Terry.

What did settlers eat when they headed west?

Oregon Trail Mix.

I hope this joke doesn't die of dysentery.

Adam and Terry woke up on the Oregon Trail with supplies for a month.

On the last week of the month, Adam fell ill. Terry on the other hand, was fine.

On the last day, Adam started to uncontrollably pester Terry because he thought Terry had poisoned him.

Terry was patient at first, but soon his patience wore thin. It didnt help that they had run out of...

The state of Oregon is legalizing Psilocybin

And they say marijuana isn’t a gateway drug...

I played Oregon trail and made fun of a guy named Terry. He stabbed me...

I died of Dissin'-Terry

[NSFW] Oregon has legalized cocaine for a small amount.

They called it "The Oregon Trail".

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression.

What a sad state of affairs.

After Oregon decriminalized the use of hard drugs, I wanted to do a playword on the matter...

But then I thought it was maybe too soon to crack jokes.

Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip?

Oregon

Why did all the ducks move to Oregon?

They heard that quack was legalized.

Oregon fires trapped cattle on a pot farm...

...the farm made up the majority of the surrounding town’s economy so an unprecedented rescue effort ensued.

Unfortunately, It all burned to the ground and the steaks couldn’t have been higher...

A caravan of settlers were on the Oregon Trail

Their Indian guide repeatedly amazed them with his ability to find game and avoid hostile tribes. One day, he reigned in his horse and jumped down and put his head to the ground.
“Buffalo come,” was all he said.
“How can you know that?” Asked one of the amazed settlers.
He looked up and rep...

I have the heart of a lion

And a lifetime ban from the Oregon Zoo

You’re traveling along the Oregon trail and you meet a man named Terry.

One of your party members says, “I thought Terry was a woman’s name.”

That party member immediately dies.

What did they die from?



Dysentery

They tried to warn us, it's finally happening, minorities herding white people into camps.

Here in Oregon we call them "music festivals"

How come the Ghostbusters never made it very far in Oregon Trail?

They refused to cross streams.

The Chinese Workman

An Australian man comes to Oregon during the great gold rush knowing of a location where tons of gold has yet to be discovered. Keeping it as secretive as possible, he comes alone and needs to hire help as he arrives. He heads to the local bar where many of the miners spend their evenings. He has ma...

Oregon have legalised marijuana and are creating a new strand

It's called Oregon-o... ^^^I'm^^^Sorry.

What’s Shakespeare’s phone number?

What’s Shakespeare’s phone number?

Fie fie fie, et tu et tu.

I made that joke up when I was 14 at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

I never try to make fun of a guy named Terry.

Because just like the people on Oregon trail I don't want to die of disen Terry.

It was the mid-1820’s when Phillip and his brother Terrance decided that they wanted to better their lives.

So the two brothers packed a wagon with everything they owned and started out from their small home in Missouri. The trail to Oregon was very tough and the relationship between the brothers was already stressed at best.

Phillip, being the older brother, was constantly very critical of his you...

After hearing about how her son was involved in a tragic accident, the mother rushes to the hospital

There she sees her son lying in a coma in bed with a doctor watching over him.

Completely disheartened, she asks the doctor:

"What state is my son in?"

To which the doctor replies:

"Err, Oregon?"

How much does a baker on the Oregon Trail pay for piercings?

A pie an ear.

What was the UK when they signed the Oregon Treaty?

An Oregon donor

Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines?

Apparently cats can.

Some guy on the Oregon Trail makes a joke at the expense of Terence, a known outlaw.

He died of dissin' Terry.

Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, "My heart is in Oregon."

She replied, "I know what a heart is!"

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What's the difference between Japanese sake bars and doctors in Oregon?

One of them serves adults in Asia...

Did you know the original programmer of Oregon Trail was beaten to death by mentally ill Discworld fan?

He died of dissin' Terry.

Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like?

It was very unOregonized.

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Funny little story

A cowboy named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in eastern Oregon when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "...

A Small Man Goes to Oregon to become a Lumberjack

The Small Man walks up to the Foreman and says, "I want a Job as a Lumberjack"

The Foreman says, "How big are you?"

Small Man "Five Foot-Four Inches and 90 pounds"

Foreman "No chance; you are far too small to be a Lumberjack on my Crew"

Small man replies "But I'm the best...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Californian, an Oregonian and a Washingtonian all head out on a fishing trip...

It's a beautiful day in the Cascades of Oregon and all three men are enjoying themselves - although a fervent discussion about which state is the superior state has sprung up, initiated by the Californian who won't shut up about, well, everything that California is better at. At noon, they stop by...

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