Toothpick Jokes

Turns out they're long enough as they are.

“Oh wow, a bus.” It says.

they come across a hedgehog. Says one to the other "Look, a bus!"

Meets hedgehog and says: is this bus going downtown?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a “teethpick.”

A family is at dinner, after they finish, they pick up some toothpicks. The son notices the father has taken two toothpicks, while the rest of the family have only taken one.

The Dad places one toothpick in his pocket, noticing his son’s confused face, he tells him, “It’s for Ron”.

“Wh... read more

The crabs have learned to pole vault.

To see if he was done cooking.

A bartender is clearing up for the night when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it he finds a homeless man standing there who asks

"Excuse me but could I bother you for a toothpick?"

The bartender doesn't see why not and so gives the man a tooth pick.
Later on th... read more

What are you doing here?

"No free booze!" says the bartender.

"No, all I want is one toothpick." says the homeless man.

The bartender gives him the toothpick and away he goes.

No sooner has the homeless man left, another one shows up.

"What do YOU want?" asks the bartender mopping the floor. ... read more

Olive

The bartender gives him one, and the guy leaves. "Odd, but okay," the bartender thinks.

A minute later, another guy walks into the bar, and asks for a toothpick. Again, the bartender gives him one, and he leaves. "Strange..." the bartender thinks.

A minute later, yet another guy walks ... read more

and the barman says “no thank you, we don’t serve your type in here”
The tramp replies “it’s ok, I don’t want a drink, I just want a toothpick.”
Confused, the barman gives the tramp a toothpick and he leaves without causing any trouble.
The barman goes back about his business and tried to... read more

...after six years they were pretty gross so I started smoking again.

A bartender was closing the bar down for the night when he hears a knock on the back door. He opens the door to a homeless man and asks "How can I help you?" The homeless man asks the bartender if he can have a toothpick. The bartender looks perplexed and says sure. So he gives him a toothpick. The... read more

So whenever I eat at a restaurant, I always put my used toothpick to where I got it.

2 toothpicks are standing near a country lane, chatting with each other.
After a few minutes a hedgehog crosses the street.
Both toothpicks were very suprised: « Wow, I am amazed that there are still busses driving here! »

Beat it with a toothpick

After he picks his teeth, he offers you the clean end of his toothpick.

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ... read more

by using toothpicks.

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog. They decided to settle the issue by getting all the dogs together and seeing whose could perform the most impressive feat.
"Okay, Rover," ordered the architect, and Rover trotted to a table and in four minutes cons... read more

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror he noticed that a small object followed by a trail of dust was closing fast. His curiosity piqued he slowed a bit to get a better look. As the object came into ... read more

Subject: It's a comin'

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in
Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a
cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a
fun... read more