A toothpick saw a hedgehog.

“Oh wow, a bus.” It says.

Did you hear that they're not going to be making toothpicks any longer?

Turns out they're long enough as they are.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Arsenal and a toothpick?

A toothpick has 2 points.

Did you know that the toothpick was invented in Arkansas?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a “teethpick.”

Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest,

... when all of a sudden they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, "Hm, I didn't even know they had public transportation here."

[my gf's fav joke, literal translation from German]

So a toothpick walks down the street

Meets hedgehog and says: is this bus going downtown?

What do you call a woman with a toothpick stuck up her ass?

Olive

A family is at dinner, after they finish, they pick up some toothpicks.

A family is at dinner, after they finish, they pick up some toothpicks. The son notices the father has taken two toothpicks, while the rest of the family have only taken one.

The Dad places one toothpick in his pocket, noticing his son’s confused face, he tells him, “It’s for Ron”.

“Wh...

Two toothpicks are walking through the forest,

a hedgehog walks past them. The one toothpick says to the other one: "i didn't knew that there is a busstop over here"

Why did the cannibal stab the chef with a toothpick?

To see if he was done cooking.

I quit smoking once for six years after buying a forty two cent box of toothpicks...

...after six years they were pretty gross so I started smoking again.

What did the toothpick say to the booger?

What are you doing here?

Straws and Toothpicks

A bartender is clearing up for the night when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it he finds a homeless man standing there who asks

"Excuse me but could I bother you for a toothpick?"

The bartender doesn't see why not and so gives the man a tooth pick.
Later on th...

Don't throw your toothpicks in the urinals...

The crabs have learned to pole vault.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a toothpick.

The bartender gives him one, and the guy leaves. "Odd, but okay," the bartender thinks.

A minute later, another guy walks into the bar, and asks for a toothpick. Again, the bartender gives him one, and he leaves. "Strange..." the bartender thinks.

A minute later, yet another guy walks ...

Paying forward

A signboard outside a restaurant read
"Eat as much as you can, your grand children will pay the Bill".
A man entered the restaurant and ate as he could, got a toothpick and was relaxing. The waiter gave him the bill. He laughed and pointed to the signboard, don't you see, "only my grandch...

All the good stuff is gone

A bartender was closing the bar down for the night when he hears a knock on the back door. He opens the door to a homeless man and asks "How can I help you?" The homeless man asks the bartender if he can have a toothpick. The bartender looks perplexed and says sure. So he gives him a toothpick. The...

My parents always told me to put borrowed things back to its place.

So whenever I eat at a restaurant, I always put my used toothpick to where I got it.

The hedgehog

2 toothpicks are standing near a country lane, chatting with each other.
After a few minutes a hedgehog crosses the street.
Both toothpicks were very suprised: « Wow, I am amazed that there are still busses driving here! »

How do you keep a silkworm in line?

Beat it with a toothpick

School Projects are fun

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog.

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog. They decided to settle the issue by getting all the dogs together and seeing whose could perform the most impressive feat.
"Okay, Rover," ordered the architect, and Rover trotted to a table and in four minutes cons...

A hobo walks into a bar...

A hobo walks into a bar. The barman shouts at him 'Get out! We don't serve your type in here!' The hobo says 'OK OK I'll leave. But all I want is a toothpick'. The barman, suspicious, hands him a toothpick and the hobo leaves. 5mins later another hobo comes in and the barman says 'get out! We don't...

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe.

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror he noticed that a small object followed by a trail of dust was closing fast. His curiosity piqued he slowed a bit to get a better look. As the object came into ...

How do chinese babies eat?

by using toothpicks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A few I picked up...

JOKES!

A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "five drinks please"

What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.

Coconut

What do dentists call their X-rays?

Toothpicks

Dir...

"It's a-Comin" Muslims...

Subject: It's a comin'

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in
Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a
cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a
fun...

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