I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.

I think it’s a good idea to use different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharma...

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

My douchebag nephew puts on loads of deodorant and I have a hard time understanding him.

He has too strong of an axe scent.

Why won’t the mother deodorant let her daughter carry a bag?

Because she is an anti-purse-parent.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'm going to a deodorant party this weekend...

Roll on Saturday!

What's the opposite of deodorant?

Deodoruncle.

I caught my girlfriend using my deodorant again

Whatever, it can be our secret.

My New Year's resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants

Roll on 2018

A friend of mine came up to me earlier and asked if I wore deodorant

I told him it was a *Secret*

I happily dad joked my fiancé

While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.

To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!"

*Air horn sound*

*Second airhorn sound*

Me: "Well this clearly isn't deodorant."

What kind of deodorant do dwarves use?

They don't like to choose but when they do they pickaxe

I don't know why people use odorless deodorant

It makes no scents!

My deodorant is called "state's evidence"...

Part of the Wetness Protection program.

In my opinion guys should only us two fragrances of Old Spice deodorant...

Fuji or Timber...

but that's just my two scents.

Have you heard of the new deodorant called umpire?

It's for foul balls!

Someone's deodorant is not working...

And I know it's not me because I'm not wearing any.

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.The man replied..."Well your Honor, it was like this: When the l...

Warning labels are stupid.

I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, "Avoid contact with eyes" TOO LATE, I'd already seen it

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A blonde goes to her chemist..

A blonde goes to her chemist. She's quite embarrassed, so goes to quite a length to get the chemist by themselves. She whispers to the pharmacist, 'I need some more anal deodorant.'

The pharmacist, quite confused, says, 'I'm sorry ma'am, what was that?'

"I need some anal deodorant!" lo...

My wife found out that our dog could hardly hear...

My wife Andrea found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from re...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The German Plumber.

Yesterday as I was taking my morning shower at 7:00am, it stopped half way through when I was putting my shampoo in my hair, great, so I wiped it out with a towel. I called a man after I came back from work around 5pm. The man, at first, sounded French but with almost an American accent, probably si...

A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop.....

... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow...

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow. When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks
"can you shave my dog's paws so that snow doesn't get stuck in his fur?" The vet responds
"Shaving isn...