I think it’s a good idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

What’s an executioner’s favourite deodorant?

Axe.

Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company this morning

Just putting my two scents in

What do you call a person who sprays deodorant at people and chokes them?

An axe murderer

I got a new stick deodorant today.

The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.

A Russian went to buy deodorant

"Ball, or aerosol?" the shop assistant asked him.

"No, just for under armpit."

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorant.

Roll on 2019

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we...

Why won’t the mother deodorant let her daughter carry a bag?

Because she is an anti-purse-parent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

My douchebag nephew puts on loads of deodorant and I have a hard time understanding him.

He has too strong of an axe scent.

I caught my girlfriend using my deodorant again

Whatever, it can be our secret.

What's the opposite of deodorant?

Deodoruncle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm going to a deodorant party this weekend...

Roll on Saturday!

I happily dad joked my fiancé

While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.

To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!"

*Air horn sound*

*Second airhorn sound*

Me: "Well this clearly isn't deodorant."

A friend of mine came up to me earlier and asked if I wore deodorant

I told him it was a *Secret*

I don't know why people use odorless deodorant

It makes no scents!

What kind of deodorant do dwarves use?

They don't like to choose but when they do they pickaxe

I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year

Roll on 2017

In my opinion guys should only us two fragrances of Old Spice deodorant...

Fuji or Timber...

but that's just my two scents.

My deodorant is called "state's evidence"...

Part of the Wetness Protection program.

Have you heard of the new deodorant called umpire?

It's for foul balls!

What do you call a febreeze spraying ant?

Deodorant

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.The man replied..."Well your Honor, it was like this: When the l...

A woman takes her dog to the vet because it's having trouble hearing

A woman takes her dog to the vet because it's having trouble hearing. The vet says, "Your dog has really thick hair in her ears and it's impacting her hearing. I'll trim it today, but to prevent this from happening in the future, go to the pharmacy and get some Nair."

So the woman goes to the...

Warning labels are stupid.

I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, "Avoid contact with eyes" TOO LATE, I'd already seen it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde goes to her chemist..

A blonde goes to her chemist. She's quite embarrassed, so goes to quite a length to get the chemist by themselves. She whispers to the pharmacist, 'I need some more anal deodorant.'

The pharmacist, quite confused, says, 'I'm sorry ma'am, what was that?'

"I need some anal deodorant!" lo...

My wife found out that our dog could hardly hear...

My wife Andrea found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The German Plumber.

Yesterday as I was taking my morning shower at 7:00am, it stopped half way through when I was putting my shampoo in my hair, great, so I wiped it out with a towel. I called a man after I came back from work around 5pm. The man, at first, sounded French but with almost an American accent, probably si...

A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop.....

... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow...

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow. When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks
"can you shave my dog's paws so that snow doesn't get stuck in his fur?" The vet responds
"Shaving isn...

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