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Dentist: “When was the last time you flossed?”

Shaking my head. “Dude, you were there!”

A blonde was flossing her teeth

when her gums started bleeding.


“Thank God, safe for another month!”

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed

I said “you should know that, you were there”.

I floss religiously.

Every Easter and Christmas.

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Flossing is the opposite of masturbating

Everyone says they floss but no one actually does it.

This dude goes to his dental appointment

The dentist is flossing his teeth.

Dentist: "So, when's the last time you flossed your teeth?"

Dude: "Bro!!! You don't remember?!"

"You were there!"

My dentist told me I don't floss enough

So I started taking dance classes

My friends said if you floss you'll be amazed at how much food is stuck between your teeth.

I don't remember eating this much blood

The Dentist says, "When was the last time you flossed?"

The Patient replies, "You should know, you were there!"


Heard this at the dentist this morning

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When I was ten I swallowed some dental floss. When it came out it was all tied up.

I shit you knot.

4 out of 5 dentists recommend flossing...

The fifth is out killing lions.

The United Nations are putting on an event with carousels, candy floss and a ferris wheel a couple of towns away.

I wish they'd come to my town. It's UNfair.

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

I knitted a scarf after 4 days of blood sweat and tears out of floss only to find out it is just falling apart.

Sorry, wrong thread.

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A man wanted to try 69 with his girlfriend

Right in the middle the man realizes he has a dentist appointment. So he pops up and heads to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth 3 times. He uses mouth wash twice and flosses once for good measure.

He gets to the dentist office just in time and his dentist calls him in. Dentist says open wid...

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Flossing used to be a pain in my ass.

But now that i do it properly it's just a pain in my mouth.

My dentist asked me if I floss between meals

"No, usually between teeth" I replied.

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Why is there a string at the end of a tampon?

To floss with when you are done eating

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Broken

A young blonde girl was telling her friend about her sex life, and says, "Oh, my god, it was really great with Todd, but I was so nervous after his condom broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week." "What happened?" asks her girlfriend.

"I didn't know what I was going to do," says ...

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I finally got to go to the dentist for the first time since the pandemic started…

The doctor was shocked at how clean my teeth were but said my breath smelled like shit and he couldn’t figure out why.

He asked if I’d been brushing regularly and I said yes.

He asked if I flossed regularly and I said as much as I normally do.

He asked if I changed my diet an...

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month.

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Yo mama so gap-toothed...

She can floss with a dick!

Ever since quarantine, my pubes have gotten really long,

But think about all the money I've saved on dental floss.

Blood donor

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. When I drew his blood, there was a little squirt of blood and it surprised him. I looked him deeply in the eyes and told him, “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

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Quick 69 and Then Off To The Dentist

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times Gargled ½ a liter of Listerine and used dental floss as well
As he arrived at the dentist ...

What did the dentist say when he had to pull a tooth?

"I'm sorry for your floss."

I got thrown out of the dentist's surgery for dancing.

I mean, he's the one who asked me to floss...

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Kids think us elders are so out of touch.

Kids think us elders are so out of touch.

My daughter walked in on me flossing.

"Dad. What are you doing? That's not cool"

"This is the easiest way for me to dry the bit between balls and my asshole,"

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Why do tampons have strings?

Because crabs like to bungee jump too.


Told this to my friend's dad.His answer:So you can floss when you're done eating.

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A man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral

Feeling quite sad, a man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral. As he walked between the tombstones he came across an open grave. He walked right up to the edge to see that there was still a coffin inside. What an odd sight he thought to himself - suddenly he heard a thump, follow...

I really didn't enjoy my Hollywood Internship...

They made me follow Leonardo DiCaprio around for 6 hours carrying his water bottle which was exhausting.

They made me floss between Tom Cruise's toes which was humiliating.

But when they made me spank Dwayne Johnson...

That's when I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

(edit: no lon...

Why does the dentist play fortnite?

He likes to floss twice a day

A citizen was cited for a tax investigation in the IRS.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.


-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'


Confused, t...

I went to the bathroom, and couldn't remember why I went

So I'm standing there in the bathroom, and I think, hmm, maybe I needed to use the toilet.

I use the toilet, but, no, that wasn't why I went to the bathroom.

So then I see my toothbrush, and I think, well, I'm here, I might as well brush my teeth. I brush and floss my teeth, and no, th...

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Pilot: the plane is going down!

**Me:** *[texting my dentist]* I've never really flossed

**Pilot:** false alarm everyone.

**Me:** *[rushing to cock pit]* no no no this thing needs to go down!

Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?

All the kids are flossing all the time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A Trip to the Dentist

A man takes his girlfriend to his house to have some alone time. A few minutes into the Netflix and chill, things start to heat up. The man and his girlfriend start off with a little foreplay but it quickly escalates to a lot of 69.
After they finish their business the man tells his girlfriend t...

Why do all Fortnite players have healthy gums?

Because they floss regularly.

In the future there will be kids shouting jokes like...

Yo mama’s so old that when the Dentist told her to floss she started to dance.

What's bloody and painful and happens once a month?

Flossing

The mental hospital is having the yearly inspection.

The general manager walks with the inspector on the courtyard while telling him about how the new garden creates a quiet and safe space for the patients.
On the distance they see an disheveled old man dragging a toothbrush over the grass, tied with a piece of dental floss.
"What's ailing t...

A man goes to the dentist for his six-month exam.

The man tells the dentist, “My teeth are great. I never use mouthwash, rarely brush my teeth, never floss, never use a breath mint, and eat onions and garlic with just about every meal. I also never have bad breath.” The dentist agrees his teeth are decent, but he will need an operation.


...

My wife who was a dentist passed away

I’ve loved and I’ve flossed.

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Every time I go to the dentist...

Every time I go to the dentist, they always ask if I've been flossing. Not to be a liar, I tell them no.

"I could tell," the dentist will always say. "Your gums are red and inflamed."

Then he'll give a little lecture about how I need to be flossing every single day. Well, after my la...

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Dentist gets a visit by his patient

*Patient walks into the room and approaches dentist*

Dentist: “looks like I need you to...”
Patient: “I know, I need to floss more right?”
Dentist: “No I need you to get the fuck out of my house, it’s 2:30 am”
*patient mumbles through ski mask* “but doc, it tooth fucking hurty am”

Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking

It's as hard as it is to start flossing

- Mitch Hedberg

I miss this man every day :(

Whelp! It’s that time of the month again. There is BLOOD everywhere...

Ugggh...I hate flossing.

As a man, I bleed once a month too.

When I floss.

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Old man goes to the dentist.......

Old man goes to the dentist for his annual checkup. Not even a minute into it, the dentist suddenly stops and asks him.
-Sorry, but I have to ask you this. Did you do a 69 last night?
The old man is amazed!!
-Doc, how did you know? The old lady was kind randy, but I flossed, brushed my teet...

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