Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

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Flossing is the opposite of masturbating

Everyone says they floss but no one actually does it.

Whenever I floss my teeth...

...I'm simply amazed at all the blood that gets stuck between them.

My dentist told me I don't floss enough

So I started taking dance classes

My dentist tells me to floss my teeth daily.

I wish he'd leave me alone.

My dentist asked me if I floss between meals

"No, usually between teeth" I replied.

What did the dentist say when he had to pull a tooth?

"I'm sorry for your floss."

The United Nations are putting on an event with carousels, candy floss and a ferris wheel a couple of towns away.

I wish they'd come to my town. It's UNfair.

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When I was ten I swallowed some dental floss. When it came out it was all tied up.

I shit you knot.

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Why do tampons have strings?

So you can floss when you finish eating.

I knitted a scarf after 4 days of blood sweat and tears out of floss only to find out it is just falling apart.

Sorry, wrong thread.

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Flossing used to be a pain in my ass.

But now that i do it properly it's just a pain in my mouth.

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

4 out of 5 dentists recommend flossing...

The fifth is out killing lions.

I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign.

So now I never floss.

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Kids think us elders are so out of touch.

Kids think us elders are so out of touch.

My daughter walked in on me flossing.

"Dad. What are you doing? That's not cool"

"This is the easiest way for me to dry the bit between balls and my asshole,"

I floss religiously.

I do it on Christmas and Easter.

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Why do tampons have that piece of string attached to the end of them?

So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

Flossed for the first time in a long time.

.... I don't remember eating all that blood, but a lot got stuck in there.

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Why do tampons have strings?

Because crabs like to bungee jump too.

Told this to my friend's dad.His answer:So you can floss when you're done eating.

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Pilot: the plane is going down!

**Me:** *[texting my dentist]* I've never really flossed

**Pilot:** false alarm everyone.

**Me:** *[rushing to cock pit]* no no no this thing needs to go down!

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month.

A citizen was cited for a tax investigation in the IRS.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.

-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'

Confused, t...

Did you hear about the dentist who beat a murder trial?

He used the floss in the system

A dentist shoots a kid doing a fortnite dance.

"You're bleeding because you were flossing"

Why does the dentist play fortnite?

He likes to floss twice a day

A man goes to the dentist for his six-month exam.

The man tells the dentist, “My teeth are great. I never use mouthwash, rarely brush my teeth, never floss, never use a breath mint, and eat onions and garlic with just about every meal. I also never have bad breath.” The dentist agrees his teeth are decent, but he will need an operation.


I really didn't enjoy my Hollywood Internship...

They made me follow Leonardo DiCaprio around for 6 hours carrying his water bottle which was exhausting.

They made me floss between Tom Cruise's toes which was humiliating.

But when they made me spank Dwayne Johnson...

That's when I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

(edit: no lon...

A dentist is watching The News

The news: flosing was the #1 activity of last year

*detnists searches up flossing on the web*

Dentist: SON OF A B**** 😡

Why has a dentist’s job gotten so much easier?

All the kids are flossing all the time.

A mother asks her doctor if she should vaccinate her kids...

The Doctor replied,

"There's an old joke:

A dentist tells his patient 'You need to start flossing every day.'

The patient asks 'Do I need to floss all of my teeth?'

The dentist replies 'No, of course not; you only need to floss the teeth you want to keep.'


My wife who was a dentist passed away

I’ve loved and I’ve flossed.

Why do all Fortnite players have healthy gums?

Because they floss regularly.

In the future there will be kids shouting jokes like...

Yo mama’s so old that when the Dentist told her to floss she started to dance.

The mental hospital is having the yearly inspection.

The general manager walks with the inspector on the courtyard while telling him about how the new garden creates a quiet and safe space for the patients.
On the distance they see an disheveled old man dragging a toothbrush over the grass, tied with a piece of dental floss.
"What's ailing t...

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NSFW A Trip to the Dentist

A man takes his girlfriend to his house to have some alone time. A few minutes into the Netflix and chill, things start to heat up. The man and his girlfriend start off with a little foreplay but it quickly escalates to a lot of 69.
After they finish their business the man tells his girlfriend t...

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A man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral

Feeling quite sad, a man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral. As he walked between the tombstones he came across an open grave. He walked right up to the edge to see that there was still a coffin inside. What an odd sight he thought to himself - suddenly he heard a thump, follow...

I went to the bathroom, and couldn't remember why I went

So I'm standing there in the bathroom, and I think, hmm, maybe I needed to use the toilet.

I use the toilet, but, no, that wasn't why I went to the bathroom.

So then I see my toothbrush, and I think, well, I'm here, I might as well brush my teeth. I brush and floss my teeth, and no, th...

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jerry has a 69

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times
Gargled ½ a litre of Listerine used dental floss as well

As he arrived at the dent...

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Dentist gets a visit by his patient

*Patient walks into the room and approaches dentist*

Dentist: “looks like I need you to...”
Patient: “I know, I need to floss more right?”
Dentist: “No I need you to get the fuck out of my house, it’s 2:30 am”
*patient mumbles through ski mask* “but doc, it tooth fucking hurty am”

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A man and his wife are doing 69.

In the middle of it, he remembers that he has a dentist appointment. He tells his wife that he has to go, and immediately starts brushing, flossing, and using listerine. At the dentist's office, the man sits in the chair as the dentist begins his work. A few minutes in, the dentist sniffs the air an...

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Every time I go to the dentist...

Every time I go to the dentist, they always ask if I've been flossing. Not to be a liar, I tell them no.

"I could tell," the dentist will always say. "Your gums are red and inflamed."

Then he'll give a little lecture about how I need to be flossing every single day. Well, after my la...

Whelp! It’s that time of the month again. There is BLOOD everywhere...

Ugggh...I hate flossing.

What's bloody and painful and happens once a month?


Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking

It's as hard as it is to start flossing

- Mitch Hedberg

I miss this man every day :(

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Old man goes to the dentist.......

Old man goes to the dentist for his annual checkup. Not even a minute into it, the dentist suddenly stops and asks him.
-Sorry, but I have to ask you this. Did you do a 69 last night?
The old man is amazed!!
-Doc, how did you know? The old lady was kind randy, but I flossed, brushed my teet...

As a man, I bleed once a month too.

When I floss.

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