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Floss Jokes

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Since thongs are also known as butt floss

Does that mean they prevent anal cavities?

Dentist always dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”

Like bro you were there wtf

My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed

I said “you should know that, you were there”.

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month.

I floss religiously.

Every Easter and Christmas.

A blonde was flossing her teeth

when her gums started bleeding.


“Thank God, safe for another month!”

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Flossing is the opposite of masturbating

Everyone says they floss but no one actually does it.

The Dentist says, "When was the last time you flossed?"

The Patient replies, "You should know, you were there!"


Heard this at the dentist this morning

My dentist told me I don't floss enough

So I started taking dance classes

4 out of 5 dentists recommend flossing...

The fifth is out killing lions.

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A man wanted to try 69 with his girlfriend

Right in the middle the man realizes he has a dentist appointment. So he pops up and heads to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth 3 times. He uses mouth wash twice and flosses once for good measure.

He gets to the dentist office just in time and his dentist calls him in. Dentist says open wid...

Whenever I floss my teeth...

...I'm simply amazed at all the blood that gets stuck between them.

My friends said if you floss you'll be amazed at how much food is stuck between your teeth.

I don't remember eating this much blood

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Flossing used to be a pain in my ass.

But now that i do it properly it's just a pain in my mouth.

What did the dentist say when his patient told him that he's never brushed in his life?

"I'm at a floss for words."

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When I was ten I swallowed some dental floss. When it came out it was all tied up.

I shit you knot.

My dentist asked me if I floss between meals

"No, usually between teeth" I replied.

The United Nations are putting on an event with carousels, candy floss and a ferris wheel a couple of towns away.

I wish they'd come to my town. It's UNfair.

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

This dude goes to his dental appointment

The dentist is flossing his teeth.

Dentist: "So, when's the last time you flossed your teeth?"

Dude: "Bro!!! You don't remember?!"

"You were there!"

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jerry has a 69

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times
Gargled ½ a litre of Listerine used dental floss as well

As he arrived at the dent...

I knitted a scarf after 4 days of blood sweat and tears out of floss only to find out it is just falling apart.

Sorry, wrong thread.

My Wife's cooking is so bad

If you left Dental Floss in the kitchen



The Roaches would hang themselves!

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Why is there a string at the end of a tampon?

To floss with when you are done eating

An IT guy goes to see their dentist..

Dentist: Have you been flossing regularly?
IT Guy: Have you been changing your passwords and using unique passwords for different logins regularly?

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Yo mama so gap-toothed...

She can floss with a dick!

I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign.

So now I never floss.

Ever since quarantine, my pubes have gotten really long,

But think about all the money I've saved on dental floss.

I got thrown out of the dentist's surgery for dancing.

I mean, he's the one who asked me to floss...

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Every time I go to the dentist...

Every time I go to the dentist, they always ask if I've been flossing. Not to be a liar, I tell them no.

"I could tell," the dentist will always say. "Your gums are red and inflamed."

Then he'll give a little lecture about how I need to be flossing every single day. Well, after my la...

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Why do tampons have strings?

Because crabs like to bungee jump too.


Told this to my friend's dad.His answer:So you can floss when you're done eating.

Did you hear about the dentist who beat a murder trial?

He used the floss in the system

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I finally got to go to the dentist for the first time since the pandemic started…

The doctor was shocked at how clean my teeth were but said my breath smelled like shit and he couldn’t figure out why.

He asked if I’d been brushing regularly and I said yes.

He asked if I flossed regularly and I said as much as I normally do.

He asked if I changed my diet an...

Why do all Fortnite players have healthy gums?

Because they floss regularly.

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NSFW A Trip to the Dentist

A man takes his girlfriend to his house to have some alone time. A few minutes into the Netflix and chill, things start to heat up. The man and his girlfriend start off with a little foreplay but it quickly escalates to a lot of 69.
After they finish their business the man tells his girlfriend t...

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Old man goes to the dentist.......

Old man goes to the dentist for his annual checkup. Not even a minute into it, the dentist suddenly stops and asks him.
-Sorry, but I have to ask you this. Did you do a 69 last night?
The old man is amazed!!
-Doc, how did you know? The old lady was kind randy, but I flossed, brushed my teet...

The mental hospital is having the yearly inspection.

The general manager walks with the inspector on the courtyard while telling him about how the new garden creates a quiet and safe space for the patients.
On the distance they see an disheveled old man dragging a toothbrush over the grass, tied with a piece of dental floss.
"What's ailing t...

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A man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral

Feeling quite sad, a man goes for a walk in a cemetery after his friend's funeral. As he walked between the tombstones he came across an open grave. He walked right up to the edge to see that there was still a coffin inside. What an odd sight he thought to himself - suddenly he heard a thump, follow...

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