Why do Americans wear sleeveless t-shirts?

Because they have the right to bare arms

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without actually participating in the races.

It’s our running joke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been giving my friends t shirts with photos of them printed on it for their birthdays.

Half of them think it's hilarious, and half of them tell me how the fuck did I get this picture of them sleeping.

I'm turning 40 soon, and my wife told me she is getting me four T-shirts for my birthday.

I asked her "why?"

She said, "because you're going to be in your 4 T's."

Two Irish priests decided to go on a vacation to Barcelona.

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach...

The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt

One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.

After several very angry calls from the royal f...

Why does the military only allow dress shirts at its ceremonies?

Because civilian casual tees are unacceptable.

What should you do when even Large shirts start feeling too snug?

X your size

What did Lieutenant Worf say when he made rainbow T-shirts with his son?

“Today *is* a good day to dye!”

Two drunk men were walking down the road when they see a nice house..

Carl goes 'Eh, I bet we can push that'
John goes 'Yeaah but let's take our shirts off so we don't get paint on them'

They take their shirts off and hang them off a tree branch and start pushing.... the building.

A thief comes and steals their shirts...

*3 minutes later*
...

You know you're a hipster when...

You iron your non-iron shirts just to be ironic.

My wife always thinks really hard about ironing vs. putting her shirts in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles.

I asked her to not be so clothes-minded.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Over the last few months I became a victim of a clever scam while shopping at Home Depot.

Simply going out to get supplies


has turned out to be very traumatic for me. Don't be


naïve enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your


friends. Here's how the scam works:


Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over

...

Say what you want about the people wearing 6MWE shirts

At least they weren't Holocaust Deniers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife phoned me.

"There are two men standing outside," she whispered in a panic. "I think they are going to break in to our house."

I said, "If they force their way in, don't let them have anything good. Ok?"

"Ok, ok. I'll try my best!" she cried.

I said, "No television, no Xbo...

Did you hear what happened at the laundromat last night?

Three clothespins held up two shirts.

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the sale...

You know the clothing company Puma? They make Puma shirts, Puma socks...

I wonder why they don't make pants

Shirts

So like, you know how there's Extra Large and Extra Small sized clothing? Why can't I get something Extra Medium, like its the most generic sized shirt possible.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friend: That’s a nice-ass shirt you’re wearing.

Me: Thanks. They are called pants, not ass shirts.

My Wife wore a "Vaccines cause autism" shirt

She was insulted, punched and spit on

Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!

I’m allergic to crocodiles on t-shirts

I’m lacoste intolerant

Two Irishmen walk past a shop window with a sign in it that says, ‘Suits £2 Shirts £1.50!!!’

One Irishman nudges the other with excitement and says, “We are going to make our fortune here today”, and they enter the shop excitedly.

They walk up to the counter and one of the Irishmen says “Can we get 50 suits and 50 shirts please?”

The lady behind the counter looks at them with...

A judge was trying a man on the charge of shoplifting shirts and pants by wearing them out of the store.

The judge saw the evidence and declared, "Guilty! Case Clothed!"

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