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My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with wearing a different t shirt every hour.

I said, “Wait, I can change.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been giving my friends t shirts with photos of them printed on it for their birthdays.

Half of them think it's hilarious, and half of them tell me how the fuck did I get this picture of them sleeping.

So my wife thinks it's kinky to answer the door wearing just my t shirt

But when i did the same wearing her dress, i now need to have a 'talk' with a psychologist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rude customer

Fellow walks into a bank.

He hasn’t had a haircut for some time. He is wearing a T shirt with food stains on it, a pair of jeans with holes and two unmatched sandals. He has a can of beer in one hand and a piece of paper in the other.

He gives a loud belch and yells « Service! »<...

A guy walks into a bar .........

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there mulling over his day he hears a high pitched voice say, “That shirt looks great on you!” The guy looks around, doesn’t see anything, and returns to his drink thinking no more of it. The voice, however, returns sayin...

Did you hear about the solitary T shirt printer?

He's going to dye alone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Morning Sex

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T shirt she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lift up as I thought, "I'm ...

A friend tried to get me to wear jeans, a white t shirt, and a motorcycle jacket - but I said no.

It sounded like a Fonzie scheme.

A Psychic buying clothes.

Employee: How about this one?


Psychic: That shirt is too small.


Employee: You didn’t even try it on.


Psychic: I’m a medium.

How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?

10

One to change the bulb and nine to make t shirts for the event.

I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,

Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"

I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."

She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."

I said "Actu...

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