A man walks in to a bar and hangs his hat and coat on a peg

There's a dog sat in the corner which leaps up grabs the hat and rips it to pieces.

The man turns to the owner of the dog and says: “Your dog's just ruined my hat”

Dog owner: So what, I couldn't care less.

Man: I don't like your attitude!

Dog owner: It's not my attitude,...

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An anti fur activist got into an elevator and there was a woman wearing a mink coat.

The woman says "Do you know how many animals died for you to get that coat?" The other woman says "Do yo know how many animals I fucked to get this coat?"

A man in the locker room of an upscale gym in NYC answers a cell phone and puts it on speaker while he dresses

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.

Woman : I also stopped b...

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The virgin bride

A nice Italian girl got married. The had their honeymoon in the brides parents house. When the time came for bed, they went upstairs to her room. The groom proceeded to take off his coat and shirt. He was extremely hairy.

The bride rushed from the room and down to her mother.

"Ma...

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"Right, I'm off out", said the wife, grabbing her coat. "It's my evening class tonight, down at the college."

"Is it a plumbing class?"

"No, don't be silly."

"Then pull your fucking jeans up!"

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an irish girl returned to her home after 5 years

"Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn'‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌"
‌‌
Th‌‌e girl‌‌, crying‌‌, replied‌‌, "Dad..‌‌. ‌‌I beca...

A person in a lab coat places a glass half-filled with a yellow liquid in front of 4 people.

Immediately, the first person pipes up, "Ah, I see the glass is half full!" This person is an optimist.

The second person states, "Naw man, why would he bring us a half-full glass? He obviously drank some. It's now half empty." This person is a pessimist.

The third person scoffs, "Why ...

How do you steal a coat from Walmart?

You Jacket.

I was spray painting a side table when I noticed my first coat was really patchy...

I thought to myself, "well this can is past its prime"

Luckily I had another can that was primer.

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.



Which, incidentally, is also why most Afghanistan jokes are falling flat.

But also because everyone knows the Dems are pro-choice, they didn't have to abort a whole country just to prove it.



I think I'm startin...

A traditional tunisian joke I was told by my grandmother and she heard from hers

The bey(King) was missing his mistress who was living far away. He decided to pay her a visit wearing his more expensive clothes, but out of precaution, he decided to first ask his wazir(minister) of weather whether there would be rain on that day.
The wazir paused for 5 minutes, assessing the cl...

Dave was getting robbed in the desert

He gave the robber his money and asked the robber to shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.

He then asked, "Shoot a few bullets in the coat while you're at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward".

After the robber ...

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The incredible trainer

It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open.
A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the doorframe, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with ...

When telling a fat man to lose weight you should not sugar coat it

Because he will eat that too

I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

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The Hamster and the Frog

A shabby-looking man walks into an upscale bar full of businessmen and orders a Scotch. The bartender looks him over and says, "Sir, I don't believe you can afford the drinks at this establishment. May I ask that you go somewhere else?"
The man shrugs his shoulders and says, "You're right. I do...

A Nigerian joke

Two students are waiting to give their oral aptitude test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner :- Suppose you are travelling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Alex:- I will open the window.

Examiner:- Great, now suppose that the area ...

Some laws that we didn't learn at school

01. *LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR*

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*

When u dial a wrong numbe...

Yoh mama so fat that when she buys a fur coat...

a whole specie of animal is gonna become extinct.

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Talk to the Ashes

\[NSFW\]

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the coffee table. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes.

She said, "You know that fur coat y...

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the Hwy coming home.

So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coat...

A nice old lady gives a bus driver some nuts…

A nice old lady on a bus offers the bus driver some peanuts, the driver happily eats them.
Every five minutes the old lady hands the driver a handful of nuts, eventually he asks:

“Why don’t you eat them yourself?”
To which the old lady replies

“I don’t have any teeth, look” ...

John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.

“Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks.

“Not really,” says Mary.

“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.

“No,” she responds.

“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.”
...

Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.

Surprised, the first lady had a stroke. The second lady also had a stroke. The third lady, though, declined to touch it.

A Hasidic man, with a long beard, payis, a kaftan (long black coat), and shtreiml (the traditional fur hat), walks into a bar with a multi-colored parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says: "Where'd you get that?"

The parrot replies: "Brooklyn. There's thousands of them."

3 little pigs

A wolf goes to the house of the first pig, which was made of straw. "Come out you pig, or I will huff and puff and blow your straw house down".

The pig stays put and the wolf starts huffing and puffing. Frightened now, the pig sneaks out the back door just as his straw house starts to blow ...

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The little red man joke.

The little white woman was busy baking a cake. Only as she reached around in her little white cupboards she realised she had no sugar for her little white cake. Not to be disheartened she decided to wander next door to her neighbour, the little green man, to see if he would be kind enough to lend he...

A survey just out today shows that the most popular coating for deep-fried food is golden breadcrumbs.

I can't believe it's not batter.

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A man buys a motorbike and is riding it home when it occurs to him that he's somewhat lacking control, as the wind is getting into his coat and buffeting him quite badly.

He pulls over, deciding to put his coat on back-to-front so the openings between the buttons are at the back.

Much improved he confidently accelerates away, but within five minutes of riding like this he reaches a sharp bend in the road, where he discovers his arms are rather too restricted ...

A Jewish man is walking down the sidewalk. As he goes to cross the street he is hit by a car and hurled through the air causing him to hit his head. A beautiful woman sees this and takes off her coat as she runs over to the man. She lifts his head and places the jacket under his head.

She tells the man not to move and that she is going to call for an ambulance.

But before she gets up to get her phone out and call she asks the man, “Are you comfortable?”

To which the man replies, “Eh, I make a living.”

I spent the morning by thoroughly coating the ladder that leads into my roof space with grease.

Its an anti-climb attic story.

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A man recently separated with his wife is at the local bar drowning his sorrows when a gorgeous young woman walks in.

She makes her way over to the bar.

"What'll it be, miss?" The bartender asks.
"Tequila." Says the woman.

As the bartender pours her drink she notices the guy sitting at the other end of the bar. 'Handsome' she thinks to herself as she turns to the bartender laying out t...

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A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar, both getting drunk...

The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down.

"My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she replied.

"What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man. "She told me that I was too kinky for her, too!"

The two talk a little while longer, and fin...

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What do a good lawyer and a good coat have in common?

They both cover your ass.

Two old guys are working at a sewage treatment plant

One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.

"What are you doing?!" he yells

"My coat fell in" his buddy yells back

"You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!"

"No, no. Gosh no, I'm not going to wear ...

Why do bears have a fur coat

Because they would look silly in a sweater (I got that from my grandpa)

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A Married Couple Terrified a Cab Driver.

They were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theater, having had a break-in in the past, they turned on a nightlight and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard.
When their cab arrived, they walked out from their front door and their rather tubby cat sc...

An angry customers walks back in a donut shop.

He says to the worker:


"Why isn't my donut glazed?!


The worker respond:


"Look sir, i'm not going to sugar coat it."

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?”

“Bernie,” she says. “I want a divorce”.

“My goodness,” he says. “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning…

and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!"

Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats."

Oh...

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A blind man was walking down the street

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.

The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the do...

Two Inuits are whale hunting

They have been out all day in their little boat. The wind starts to whip up and it's getting very cold. Their whale-skin coats aren't even cutting the chill. With each blast the cold eats at them. All of a sudden one of them jumps up and starts building a fire in the middle of the boat. He strips al...

A man went to jury duty. During a break in deliberations he and a female juror he had been flirting with snuck into the coat closet and she started giving him head. Someone knocked on the door, startling him, and he knocked himself out cold on the closet shelf.

When the jury filed back into the courtroom, the judge noticed one was missing. “What happened to my 12th juror?”
The jury foreman replied, “Head in-jury your honor, but I hear he just came to.”

What is the difference between a priest and a wire coat hanger?

According to the church only one of them harms children.

My wife and I were chatting the other day and she said to me, “Honey, I’ve thought a lot about it, and I’ve decided I’d like to be cremated.”

So I said to her, “Alright, go get your coat.”

I'm tired of people complaining...

$5 for parking, $3 for coat check, $10 for a martini. I'm not inviting them to my house anymore.

You're fat, and I'm not gonna sugar coat it...

Otherwise you might end up eating that too

A drunk was walking with a whisky bottle in the pocket of his coat

It was late and the streets were slippery from the rain. Suddenly, he lost his footing and fell face first in the curb.

Feeling his body, he noticed his chest was wet. He closed his eyes and prayed:

“Dear Lord, please let it be blood”

A mother gets dressed to go shopping and puts on her new fur coat.

Her little daughter notices the new fur coat and mutters "that poor creature must have suffered alot..."

*Mother*: "Don't talk about your father like that !"

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The teacher asks the class to use 'diction' in a sentance

Little Johnny stands up and says "oh, I know, I put polish down my pants and then my dick shone."

"That's inappropriate. Now, can anyone use 'fascinate' in a sentence?"

Little Johnny stands up again "my aunt Bertha has a coat with ten buttons but her tits are so big she can only faste...

Winter coat was asked if she’s going to a party.

“I’m down.”

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A guy pulls a tiny piano from his trench coat and places it on the bar...

A few people stop to watch what he's doing. He then reaches in and pulls out a tiny piano bench. By now a crowd of people has gathered to see what is going on. Finally the man pulls out a man that is about a foot tall. The little man sits down and plays the most amazing piano that anyone has ever he...

Two blondes are trying to unlock their car with a coat hanger.

One says, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top's down!"

There were once two flower shops across the street from each other, but one was more successful than the other.

The one that was more successful was owned by two friars, and they were always the center of attention. Everyone wanted to buy flowers from the cute friars with their funny brown coats. But the owner of the other shop was not making money. He was tired of it. He had asked them many times to close sh...

Wife comes home one day wearing a brand new diamond tennis bracelet.

Husband asked were she got it from. She tells him she won a raffle at work, than ask him to get a hot bath ready for her.
Not thinking to much about, the husband gets her bath ready.
A week later the wife comes home with a mink coat on. Again the husband asked were she got it from. She again...

Jerry Clower joke (Uncle Vercy`s Trial)

Since I couldn't find this joke in text form anywhere I took the time to type it out myself lol (No Spell Check)

Flew from Los Angeles California to Des Moines did a show there in the civic center. Then to Minneapolis Minnesota, Its 28 Degrees below 0 I slept between the mattresses. Then I l...

The captured English general and French general

a bash on the French, plus first post here: apologies, but anyway ...



During the Napoleonic wars, an English general (EG) is captured by the French. eventually the French general (FG) responsible for the capturing force faces upto the EG for the interrogation:

FG: i dont unders...

When I go golfing I like to bring two coats...

In case I get a hole in one.

There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car...

The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?"

The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in."

The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?"

The other one answered," No, p...

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a flasher walks up and opens his coat

Two women had strokes but the other one’s arms weren’t long enough

Lionel Messi walks into a bar. He goes up to the first girl he sees and says “Get your coat, you’ve pulled” “Oooh" says the girl

"You're a little forward aren't you?"

What do you call a French leather coat maker...?

Jim Lapel.

My Mum gave me a right earful and a lecture about having an imaginary friend, after that she said get your coat: I said why where are we going? She replied.

Church:

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Johnny is a sponge

One night a mother and father get into a heated argument.

"You bitch!" Screams the dad.
"You're a selfish prick" the mom replies.

Their little boy Johnny pipes up with "what do those words mean mommy and daddy?" Thinking quickly the dad says "I was just calling your mother a lady, ...

A blonde woman

A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next d...

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Genius Kid

An old man is sitting out on his deck one day when he sees a young boy walking down the road with a roll of duct tape under his arm.


"Where are you going?" asks the old man

"To catch some ducks" says the kid

"You can't catch ducks with duct tape" replies the old man.
...

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A nurse checks her coat pocket...

but instead of finding her pen, finds a rectal thermometer. "Fuck!" she exclaims. "That asshole has my pen!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Mrs. Ippi bought Virginia a new winter coat. What did Della wear?

Idaho. Alaska.

A woman was trying on her new fur coat.

Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.

"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"

The woman looked strictly at her daughter.

"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."

One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store...

He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves. He heads out and goes to get groceries, and buys milk, eggs, tuna fish, matches, and a single pumpkin. On his way home now, he sees a stray cat in the cold. Feeling charitable, he offers it some tuna fish,...

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The wife asked me if I thought she could be a model..

"There's no fucking chance you fat bastard." I laughed.

"Fuck off." She sobbed. "I'll have you know I've got a try-out for a modelling job this afternoon." She then grabbed her coat and stormed out.

A few hours later, she came home. "Well fuck you." She said proudly. "You're now lookin...

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Kinky Fun

A man meets a beautiful woman at a bar. They confess to each other that they are into kinky shit and decide to go back to her place.

When they get to her place, she says, “I’m gonna go slip into something else,” and goes to the bathroom.

She puts on her leather, knee high, stiletto bo...

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An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a small plane

The American gets up, goes to the window (it's not *that* small a plane) pulls a wad of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.

"In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away."

The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a bea...

A woman wants to know if her 3 future sons-in-law will be thrustworthy... ... So she decides to take them one by one on a walk and pretend to slip and fall into the water to see what they will do. And so it goes.

On the first walk, she pretends to slip and falls into the water. The first son-in-law takes of his shoes & coat and jumps in the water. The next day there is new family sedan parked in front of the house. There is a letter for the son-in-law which says:

_Thank you for saving me, here is ...

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The other day, I walked in on my wife masturbating with a coat hanger.

"Are you bored, honey?" I said.

"I'm a bit horny..." she replied.

"Why don't you use a dildo?"

"What do you think I'm looking for?"

I just bought a coat that's waaaay too long! :D

It suits me right down to the ground! :D

A man attacks a woman wearing a fur coat..

..and shouts at her angrily - "Do you have any idea how many minks had to die for you to wear that fur??"

"It is not mink, it's polyester!"

"Doesn't matter!! Do you know how many polyesters had to die!?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunken man who smelled like beer say down on the subway next to a priest...

The man’s tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of whiskey was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.He opened his newspaper and began reading.After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”The priest repli...

Why did the painter give the wall 2 coats?

Because it was winter

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

A guy gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is feeling down, his doctor tells him that type 2 is less serious than type 1 and that he should stay optimistic, the patient replies "doctor, please don't sugar-coat it for me"...

Doctor says: "sir, I'm being candyd"

what does Cruella De Vil wear when she wants to do research?

a lab coat.

Three nuns were walking down the street...

Three nuns were walking down the street each lost in introspective thought when a man wearing only a trench coat jumped out from behind a hedge and flashed the nuns. Well the first nun had a stroke! Then the second nun had a stroke as well. The third nun wouldn't touch it.

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A letter from an Irish mother

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 2...

Abraham wandered into Sam’s pawnshop and placed a leather coat on the counter.

“How much will you give me for this jacket?”

Sam checked it over. “$20, and that’s the best” he replied.

“But that jacket is worth $100" argued Abraham.

Sam was adamant. “$20 or nothing.”

“Are you sure that’s all it’s worth?” pressed Abe.

“Positive”

...

That old woman in a fake fur coat who had ink thrown on her really had it coming!

Does she even know how many innocent fauxes have been murdered to make that coat?

A man and his dog walk into a bar...

The man proceeds to sit on a stool and the dog quickly follows, jumping onto the next stool. The barkeep tells the man ‘Sir your dog can’t sit there!’

‘Well I reckon he can. You see, this is no ordinary dog. This dog here has the gift of speech, and that makes him my best friend. And I believ...

What do you call an alligator in a trench coat?

An investigator

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Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship again.

One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty, silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you?"


The silver-haired Marcie...

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There I stood wearing a coat of carrots and a hat made of cauliflower.

"What the fuck is this?" asked my wife.

I said, "You told me to put the vegetables on."

Hate it when you’re looking through your room and can’t find a coat hanger

You have to go all the way to the doctors to get an abortion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

(This might be a repost, but my friend told me it and I thought it was funny.)

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

"Daddy, what does ass mean?"

"It means... beard."

Downstairs, the b...

I was on my lunch break at the job site, and we were all complaining about how our boss still owed us for the last job. I overheard one of the old carpenters on his cell phone....

"$1000? Sure honey, if you like it so much, then buy the coat"

I thought, "how can this old guy afford a $1000 coat for his wife? We aren't even getting paid."

He continued, "The new BMW? Well, if you must have it, darling, make sure you get it fully loaded. $125,000? That's fine."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man in a trench coat walks into a bar on the top floor of a tall building...

He sits at the bar and he orders a double, followed by another, and then another...

Across the bar he notices two gentlemen arguing back and forth about which one of them is the "bravest"...

The man in the trench coat finishes his third drink and sloshes his way over to the two argui...

Wife: "Get me a coat hanger, I don't want the baby anymore."

Hubby: "Are you crazy? It's too late for that! May I remind you our child has already been *born*?"

Wife: "It's not too late to let it play with the wall socket."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy changing at the gym...

A guy changing at the gym answers the phone, as he’s getting dressed, naturally he just puts it on speaker, the female voice is heard
“Hey Honey, I’ve just found this beautiful designer coat and it’s on sale for £2,000 do you mind if I get it”
The guy says “well if you love it so much then yea...

Walnut daiquiris

Old Doc Brown had a peculiar routine for the end of his workday. He would always stop at the bar on his walk home and slowly sip a walnut daiquiri. Like clockwork, 5 days a week for 20 years, Doc Brown would stroll in at 6pm, sit at the end of the bar, and drink his daiquiri.

Jack tended the ...

Why should you sneak in a leather coat?

Because it’s made of hide

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I almost got robbed in the desert...

The robber shot my tires when I was driving and pulled me straight out of the car. He yelled "GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY RIGHT NOW!"

I responded "Wait wait wait, before you do, can you shoot my hat? I wanna prove to my family at home I was robbed."

The robber shrugged as I took off my hat ...

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How to Write a Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you conce...

Two guys wearing white coats are talking at a mental asylum

One guy says : "So, you're the patient who thinks he's a doctor ?"

The other guy responds : "Go back to your room !"

Two women in Florida were arrested this week after posing as old ladies in order to get a Covid vaccine

Two kids in a trench coat got away with with the same idea, but only one got vaccinated.

Basic math

A Jewish boy was failing math,

His mother had tried everything. Special classes, private tutors and even a summer at a math camp. Nothing worked. Desperate, she decided to send her son to a Catholic school one of her friends had recommended.

The boy came home the first day, slammed hi...

I need some help finding a playful hunting dog with a short white coat.

Any Pointers?

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A kid got in trouble for masturbating in the coat room

All he did was jacket

Bob was blind.

His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday.

When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day.

A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day. After aggravating his mother, he's sent outside to play. In the yard, he overhears his neighbors fighting: "You bitch!" "You bastard!" Astounded, he runs back inside and asks his mother, "Mommy mommy! What is a bitch and bastard?"
...

What do you do when you see a nice coat that you really want to steal?

You jack it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Neapolitan joke...

A young man is having a hard time selling his goods on the street... "Coats for $50, watches for $25" he shouts whenever someone walks by, but even the few people who stop don't purchase.

Eventually an old Neapolitan man approaches and tells him he's doing it all wrong. "Step back and watch h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 120 days, proving the country does not belong to China

Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

What's the worst thing about accidentally locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

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