To keep their foreskin from flopping over their head.
My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.
He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.
For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...
Why don't neckties have many uses?
They just do knot.
What did the hat say to the necktie?
"You hang tight, I'll go on a head."
I'm thinking of opening a store that only sells neckties...
Think i'll name it... Thailand.
Let’s hear your best lawyer joke. I’ll go first.
Why do lawyers wear neckties?
To hold the foreskin back.
What do sperm and politicians have in common?
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.
Bonus Joke;
### Why do politicians wear neckties?
To keep their foreskin from flopping over their head.
If you are wearing formal wear, try this: Roll up the big tongue and small tongue of your necktie and let them go at the same time, guess which tongue would roll out completely first?
It's a tie.
Sahara Desert.
A somewhat predictable oldie but amusing nevertheless.
A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties la...
Dress Code
A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his t...
A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan.
A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan, eager for just a single drink of water. As he's roaming through the country's rugged terrain, he spots in the distance what appears to be a vendor running a small stand. Figuring that there is no one else in the vicinity, he decides to go to...
A sailor brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat lunch.
The dock hand says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you dine here today. This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.”
“Of course I don’t have a tie on,” replied the sailor, “I’m on a boat!”
“Well, go down below and put one on,” said the dock hand.
“I d...
A man is travelling through the desert...
when he runs out of water. He is worried since the next town is not for 10 miles, so he is beginning to worry. Just then, however, he sees a man on a camel in the distance. When he gets nearer to the man, he sees that he is carrying bags full of neckties. r>"Please, sir, can you spare any wate...
A Jewish man is turning 40 years old...
So his mother decides to send him 2 neckties. On his birthday, she calls him.
"Happy Birthday, son!" "Thanks, mom." Replies the man.
"Did you get the ties I sent you?" Asks his mother. "Yes," says the man, "in fact I'm wearing one right now." "So what's wrong with the other one?"
Three are guys sitting around in heaven..
Three guys are in heaven, each sharing the story of their death. The first guy, propped up on his cloud recalls his ultimate demise. "Well, I had been sent home from work early one afternoon, and when I got home my wife was half naked and obviously surprised to see me. I found a pair of men's pants ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A class of high school art students are broken into groups...
...and tasked with making silly and creative paintings combining culture with food.
One group decides to paint an Indy race car made out of roti. Another group decides to paint a business suit necktie being grated into cheese. Another group paints Donkey Kong serving up a creepy bowl of banan...
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