UPJOKE
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What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

Miscarriage.

This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

So, wanna hear a miscarriage joke?

Never mind, I lost it...

My wife and I had two miscarriages last year, and I believe there should be more jokes about miscarriages so we talk about it more...

The only problem is most of the jokes die before you finish delivering them.

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*The title of the post is true and humor is how I deal with my pain*

I made a miscarriage joke at a party last night but noone laughed.

I probably didn't deliver it correctly

[nsfw] I knew a girl who had a miscarriage while taking a shower

It was the worst baby shower ever

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
...

what do you call a wagon full of young ladies?

a miscarriage

My wife had a miscarriage..

It really brought out the child in her.

What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage?

"You should work on your delivery".

Money makes every thing...

A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom
took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which
it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who
is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked
up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a
young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the
...

My wife had a surprise miscarriage.

Wait. That came out wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year-old Italian girl tells her mother she missed her period for two months...

Very worried, the mother goes to the farmacia (drugstore) and buys a pregnancy test. She brings it to her daughter who takes the test. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing,
crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The...

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Unless we're talking about my wife's miscarriage.

Jokes about miscarriages...

Sometimes you just gotta get em out of your system.

Joe's cat.

One day joe walks into his living room and sees that his cat has gone into labor, he quickly scoops her up and takes her to the vet. After waiting for around an hour the vet comes out and says "I'm sorry sir but your cat had a miscarriage" Shocked, Joe stands up and says "are you joking!?" to witch ...

My girlfriend was crying after she had a miscarriage...

I said, "don't worry hunny, at least it was still born..."

Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:

Flush.

I called my son a bloody disappointment and my girlfriend burst out into tears

Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A time traveler goes back in time to force Hitler’s mom to have an abortion.

It was a miscarriage of justice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza?

They're both cold upon delivery.

Offensive crayon ideas!

Presidential Orange

Miscarriage Maroon

Privilege White

Travel Ban Brown

Lives Matter Black

"I should have known better than to talk to him like that, these bruises are my fault" Blue

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich man impregnates his girlfriend

A rich man impregnates his girlfriend, and this angers her father. To set everything right, the father invites her boyfriend over. The man arrives in a Lamborghini and steps out in a Stuart Hughes suit, and then walks into the house.

"Is this the pig that got my daughter pregnant?" The fathe...

My sister and her husband live next to a bunch of cell phone towers, and they're concerned it’s going to affect the health of their children.

*If* they can stop having miscarriages.

I was absolutely distraught when my girlfriend told me she'd had a miscarriage.

I had to leave the pub and go to the hospital.

When the teenage daughter has been knocked up.

A teenage girl goes to her mother and tells her that she is pregnant. The mother is outraged by this news.

"Who is this scumbag who has done this to you? I demand to know who it is!"

The girl calls the father-to-be. 30 minutes later, a fancy limousine parks next to the house and a dis...

Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

What do you call a dead baby ,who fights crime?

Miscarriage of Justice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a group of troubled teenagers bored in a small town.

There was a group of troubled teenagers who were bored in a small town. They egged their neighbor's house, TPed the one down the road, and just generally caused mischief but they were running out of original ideas to keep it fresh.

One of them decided to go down to the expressway overpass and...

An unborn child was charged with a crime it didn't commit and sentenced to death

Both sides argued it was a miscarriage of justice.

I once lived on a street named Prescott avenue...

And my neighboirs had a miscarriage with their already named baby Scott. So they painted over the pre in Prescott and wrote Postscott. Everyone thought they murdered him so there was a police investigation, and they got off Scott free...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At a Sunday family lunch, a daughter, good student aged 20, announces that she is pregnant.

Father drops the fork and knife in shock. Mother looks at her in total disbelief. None of them are able to say a word for couple of seconds, before yelling starts... What was she thinking about? Of course she does not plan to keep it? They invested so much in her education, how could she do this? Wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 15 year old girl got pregnant.

After few days she told her mother about it.

Mother: "WHO IS THE FATHER? CALL THAT SON OF A BITCH NOW".

30 minutes later, a Rolls Royce Phantom stops in front of their house.

A matured grey haired man in a very expensive suit steps out.

Man: "I am sorry for the situation....

A woman has an affair..

A few weeks go by and the woman realizes she is late on her period. So she calls the man over to her house to discuss the issue.

"How could you let this happen?? If I have a child from you, you're going to provide for it!" The woman says.

"Of course, of course," the man replied. "If ...

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