UPJOKE
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So my Chinese Zodiac is a rat, and I was conceived and born out of wedlock

I'm very much a Rat Bastard.

My best friend is a Hare for her Chinese Zodiac, and she was planned. — She's clearly a hare-brained scheme.

Best lock in the world.

Wedlock.

A 90 year old man walks into confession...

He says, "Forgive me Father, I've sinned. I slept with two beautiful, 20 year old women last night outside of wedlock."
The Father says, "Oh my Lord, when was the last time you made confession?"
He says, "I've never made confession before Father, I'm Jewish."
The Father says, "You're Jewish...

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A hippie was travelling in through the Middle East when his passport and wallet are stolen, leaving him stranded with only the shirt on his back and his trusty guitar.

After a couple of days roughing it on the streets, he decides to play his guitar and busk for money.

He starts strumming out a tune and a small crowd gathers round. As he continues, one of the men from the crowd starts dancing and jiving infront of him.

The hippie finishes his song and...

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A newly anointed priest is given his first posting.

Father Ben a newly anointed priest is given his first posting of his career. He’s fairly young and very nervous, but seeing his distress, Father Todd the elderly priest he’s replacing was very thoughtful and had prepared some cheat sheets so everything would transition smoothly. Hidden behind the al...

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