My grandma had dementia in her later years and would tell me this joke every time I saw her: When your appendix is removed it’s called an appendectomy. When your uterus is removed it’s called a hysterectomy. What’s it called when you have a growth removed from your head?

A haircut. (And she’d laugh every time! I miss her terribly.)

Sperm cell ask another how much longer to the uterus?

Uterus? We are still esophagus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After sex the dude rolls off the condom, ties a knot on it and throws it into the bin.

The girl goes "I wonder if any of the sperms in there made it to my uterus, what would they have become later in life" The guy responds "If any of them make it out of the rubber, climb out of the bin and get you pregnant, they'd be David Copperfield"

What do you get when you cross a uterus and a vacuum?

A Woomba

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So the vagina's talking to the uterus...

...and the vagina says "Hey, did you order something from the piano store?"

The uterus, very confused, says "No. Why would I order something from the piano store?"

The vagina replied "I don't know, but there's a couple of nuts down here trying to push in an organ."

What did one sperm say to the other sperm?

How far to the uterus?

Uterus hell, we have to get past the esophagus first!

What instrument does the uterus play?

The fallopian tuba.

Two sperms are swimming along

Two sperms are swimming along when one sperm asked the other how much further until the uterus? The other sperm says we are still in the esophagus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young boy goes up to his Dad and asks "Where did I come from?"

His father sighs and says "I was hoping your mother would get this question but OK I will explain".

"So when a man and woman are in love and want to have a baby they get naked and get into bed and then they touch each other and kiss and the man touches the woman's breasts and vagina and the w...

The one place you can come outside but never go back in.

Your Mom's uterus.

So it's that time of the month,

And my wife says to me: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but cramping is your uterus shedding its lining, right?"

Laying on the couch in pain, I reply: "Yes, it's the muscles literally cramping to break up the lining and pass it... It's a weird flex but it's okay."

She's not happy with me rig...

Two sperm were swimming trying to find an egg.

The first sperm says, “why is this taking so long, are we almost in the uterus?”

The second sperm says “We still have a way to go, we are only half way down the esophagus!

[Dirty] Two sperm are swimming around inside a woman.

The first one, exhausted and out of breath asks, "how much longer till we reach the uterus?"
The second sperm breaks into laughter and replies, "the uterus?! We haven't even left the esophagus yet!"

An older woman was having female problems...

...So she had to have surgery to have her uterus removed. The doctor had just finished the surgery, and the nurse was cleaning up and said, "Um...Doc, we are missing a scalpel. We're gonna have to go back in her and remov--"

The doctor stopped her right there. He said, "No. Don't even wo...

My friend and I were talking on the phone the other day and she was complaining about her period

Her: MY UTERUS HURTS

Me: WTF Why?

Her: CAUSE OF MY PERIOD

Me: oh

Her: I WANT ICE CREAM

Me: so go get some

Her: I'M IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO GET UP

Me: man, what a vicious cycle

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