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Conceiving Jokes

A man and his wife are having trouble conceiving.

They asked a priest who was going to live in Rome to light a candle for them.

A number of years later the priest came back stateside and went to visit the family. The husband was not at home, but the woman was surrounded by children. The priest enquired about the husband, and the wife told hi...

Husband and wife have trouble conceiving.

So they go to the doctor. By the end of the visit, the doctor determines it’s their stress causing the problem and their constant planning is a major contributor.

He tells them not to worry and as soon as they are in the mood, don’t hesitate and make love.

A month later they come bac...

My wife Lana and I are having trouble conceiving

because when I turn her around, all I get is anal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a virgin conceiving is called an immaculate conception...

Is a virgin catching venereal disease called an immaculate infection???

A King and Queen are having trouble conceiving a child...

So the king starts holding his breath. When the Queen asks him why he says, "How can I breathe when there's no heir?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Catholic girl's prayer...

“O Virgin Mother, thou who did conceive without sinning, teach me to sin without conceiving.”

(Long) There once was a duck who hated her baby brother...

This duck hated her baby brother so much that she decided to build a time machine to prevent their parents from conceiving him. The time machine worked, but without a baby brother, the duck had no incentive to build a time machine so her baby brother would still exist. With a baby brother, she'd be ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] An old couple in their 80’s want to have a baby

So they go to the doctor, and due to their age the doctor recommends that they get physicals done. So he runs some tests and comes in and says that due to their old age he can’t really recommend conceiving a child, however he can’t say no because they are healthy enough for it.

He says that t...

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