UPJOKE
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Twins Timmy and Tommy wake up Christmas morning and discover they each have three presents.

Timmy opens his first present, its a brand new PS4 with games.

Tommy opens his first present, and its an old, worn out sweater.

Timmy opens his second present, and its a brand new Flat Screen TV.

Tommy opens his second present and its an old, broken down tube TV.

Timm...

Professor gives a final to all 800 of his students in Psych 101

As time draws near, all the students are clearly stressed out, desperately trying to answer all the questions except one.

The professor counts down the last 10 seconds on his watch and calls out to the hall, "Time is up, pencils down, pass your exams up to the front." All the students put do...

Three ropes are lost in the desert.

The group of ropes find a town, and find the bar. They run in and ask for water.
Ropes: can we have some water!?
Bar keep: didn't ya see the sign, no ropes! Get out!
And the bar keep kicks them out. The first rope has an idea: what if two of us stack up so that we look like a pers...

The Amaretto Joke

(Mentioned this in the comments of another joke and seems like no-one knew it by reference so here goes.)

Three best girlfriends meet for lunch after not seeing each other for a while and the topic turns to the latest news in their lives and as it turns out all three of them have started seei...

Little Billy

Little Billy wakes up full of excitement on Christmas day. He rushes downstairs as fast as his little legs will carry him. Being from a poor family his parents can't afford much but he's grateful for what he receives. A small pile of inexpensive gifts are quickly opened by the young boy.

A li...

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