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Ana Jokes

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Good Italian Girls

A young Italian-American girl was going on a date.....

Her Nonna said: "Sita here ana letame tella you about those-a younga boys.

He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat ... but don't let him do that.

He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea d...

Ana is no longer allowed to the fruit market.

Banana.

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Machigatta ana

Larry, a business man, makes a trip to japan to meet Mr. Tanaka, the boss of a big japanese company.

He arrives at night and is bored so he goes to a brothel. There he asks for the hottest girl they have and goes on to have sex with her. He takes her from behind and the girl is moaning like h...

I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...

Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

The teacher asked little Johnny if he could write a song using the words “analyze” and “anatomy”

This was Johnny’s response:

My analyze over the ocean
My analyze over the sea
My analyze over the ocean
Oh bring back my anatomy!

Knock knock

Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ana.
Ana who?
Another mosquito.

My dad died last year. These were the only two jokes he knew.

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So an American businessman goes to Japan.

The hosts lay it on thick for him as there is a lot of money involved. An attractive woman he has met accompanies him to his hotel room. One thing leads to another and soon the woman is writhing on the bed saying "chiagu ana chigau ana" He finishes off and she lets out a deep deep sigh. Job well d...

I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician

And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.

What do you call an acid with Ana attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid

[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby...

At least she let him finish.

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An American businessman goes to Japan for the meeting of his career.

He arrives a day early to prepare for the meeting, he tries some sushi and sake at a local restaurant. Feeling tempted to try more "local cuisine" he hires an escort for the evening. Night falls and he takes his escort up to his hotel room for some fun, he gives her all he's got and he knows she's l...

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[NSFW] An American business man travels to Japan for work

On his first night there, he decides to get a prostitute. They're going at it pretty good when she starts exclaiming "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"

He doesn't understand the language but assuming it must mean "great job!"

Fast forward to the next day, when he's golfing with his Japa...

what's it called when a mafia boss named Ana Conda sends his snobbish criminal henchman to go on a mission that includes said henchman going down multiple flights of stairs?

Conda sending condecending con decending

How does a drummer call his twin daughters?

Ana one, Ana two...

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Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food?

They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!

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Tiger Woods goes to Japan

Tiger Woods goes to Japan for a golf tournament. The night before, he hires a prostitute. As they are having sex, the prostitute is shouting, "!Machigatta ana" Tiger doesn't know any Japanese, but he figures she is saying she is satisfied.

The next day at the tournament, on the 18th hole, Tig...

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An Artist in Japan

An English Manga artist is offered a job in Japan - by Studio Ghibli. He arrives in Tokyo 7 hours early, so decides to visit the red light district. Here he bangs a geisha for 5 hours solid - with her screaming "Machigatta ana Machigatta ana" at the top of her voice. Which puts a big smile on his fa...

Two men are walking through the forest

And they stumble across a deep hole in the ground. They think wow that's a really deep hole. One of them says "I wonder how deep that hole is" . The other guy says "I took AP physics in high school I know what we can do. Let's find something heavy and drop it into the hole. Then, we listen to see ho...

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Biz trip

American businessman lands in Tokyo, goes to his very fancy hotel to prepare for his meeting with the CEO of the countries largest corporation to be held at japans finest golf course the next day. As he checks in the hotels concierge asks him if he desires company for the evening stating that it’s o...

Who's the celebrity with the most weapons?

Ana de Armas.

Fred's honeymoon

Frederico's Honeymoon - Fred for the intimate!

At the age of 82, Frederico married Ana, 27, who, in consideration of her elderly husband, decides that they should sleep in separate rooms.

After the wedding party is over, everyone goes to their room.

Ana prepares to go to bed, wh...

What is the dairy farmer’s favorite Disney movie?

Moo-ana

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A sales man once went to Japan for business

A sales man once wemt to japan for business. He decided to visit a bordello because he got word of the japanese special capabilities in the love making area. So he went into a room with a lady and they got into the stuff, and in the heat of the moment the lady kept shouting
Machigatta ana,
M...

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An American man travels to Japan on business...

...and on his first night he visits a bar in Tokyo to experience the local nightlife. He meets an enchanting woman, and after several rounds of drinks and flirting, she accompanies him back to his hotel. They commence copulation, and in the throws of passion, the woman screams out "Machigatta ana! M...

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Trump goes to Japan...

One day Donald Trump goes to Japan for a diplomatic meeting. On the night of his arrival, he decides to hire a young Japanese prostitute and take her back to his hotel. The girl does not speak any English, but that doesn't stop things from getting hot 'n heavy in the Presidential Suite. Their pas...

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An American went on a business trip to Japan.

An American went on a business trip to Japan. He arrives with a few free days to spare and so decides to go out for a few drinks. While out he meets a local and although they do not speak the same language they both feel an instant connection and head home to spend the night together. As soon as ...

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A man goes to Japan for a business trip

The night before he meets a very important executive he's extremely nervous. So he hires a prostitute to help him relieve some stress. As they're having sex in his room, she moving around a lot and keeps yelling "machigata ana!" The man doesn't know what this means, but he figures that she's enjoyin...

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A businessman arrives in Japan and decides to get an escort for the night.

He turns off the light and proceeds to caress her. When he finally penetrates her she says 'machigatta ana'. He thinks nothing of it and starts banging her harder. She then starts screaming 'machigatta ana, machigatta ana'. He thinks to himself 'boy, she must really like it'. When he finishes she is...

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[NSFW] A American businessman takes a trip to Japan

An American businessman travels to Japan for a very important business meeting that will make or break his career. He realizes that sealing the deal for their business will not happen in the board room and so he agrees to join them afterwards for a night out on the town.

After a night of dri...

How do you pronounce "banana split"?

Ban-ana

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A business man goes to Japan...

To meet some potential clients and play a round of golf with them. The night before his meeting the man decides to pick up a Japanese hooker. He brings her back to his hotel and they start going at it. While they were doing their thing the hooker, being able to speak only Japanese, starts moaning, "...

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A man is on a business trip in Japan

On his first night, he decides he wants to hire a prostitute, so he goes out and finds the best he can, with his limited Japanese.

He brings her back to his hotel room, and the entire time the two of them are going at it, she is screaming "Ana ga chigau! Ana ga chigau!" He, of course, couldn'...

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Some Japanese business men take out an American exec out on the town...

to show him a great time. They hit a bunch of restaurants and eventually settle at a local bar and drink heavily. As the night is coming to an end, the Japanese men think it would be hilarious if they send the American man home with a Japanese hooker. In a drunk state, he agrees and is sent to his h...

Christian Horse

A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' to make him go and 'Amen!' to make him stop."

Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" Sure enough, the horse ...

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Man goes on a work trip to Japan.

A man travels to Japan for work. After a few weeks he gets lonely and hires a prostitute. They get down to business, but right away she starts yelling "machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"

Not speaking a word of Japanese he thinks she must be really enjoying it. He finishes up and she collects h...

If lysis means to destroy , then..

Analysis is .....

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Businessman in Japan

So an American businessman had a trip to Japan where he was to have a meeting with Japanese company CEO.

So when he arrived to Tokyo, he decided to hire a local prostitute to blow some steam off the night before the meeting. As they were doing it, he noticed she constantly screamed ''Machigat...

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I am annoyed that my wife came up with a girls name for my penis

I don't even know who Ana Conda is!

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An American businessman is entertaining some overseas business guests on the golf course.

The first guest, who is from Italy, tees off and hits a good shot 200 yards down the fairway. As the American businessman knows a small amount of Italian he says: “Buon tiro”, which means “Good shot”. The Italian businessman replies: “Grazie”.
The second guest, who is from France, tees off and hi...

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A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

Short chemistry joke

A chemist bumped into an old friend while out for a walk with her baby.


Chemist: wow, it's been so long! This is my daughter benzene-a.



Friend: Benzene-a?



Chemist: Well we were considering calling her cyclohex-ana, but we thought benzene-a had a nicer ring to...

A time machine goes to the hospital.

The doctor enters and goes to 2017. He finds a caveman inside and returns to the present day.

The doctor says, "Sorry sir, but you have an ana-chronic disease."

What’s a skeletons favorite fruit?

A bone-ana

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A man on his death bed:

"Honey, are you here?"
"Yes darling"
"Ana, are you here?"
"I'm here daddy"
"John, are you here too?"
"Of course daddy"
"Then who's in the fucking shop??"

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So, a man goes on a business trip..

To Japan, he gets there during the night and is pretty nervous about the business meeting so he decides to order up a prostitute, a fine lady walks into his room and they make love for hours, the entire time she is going wild, taking it from behind and screaming "Machigatta ana" after he finishes he...

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

A filipino joke i found and translated it.

John: Dad, there's a girl i like. She's beautiful. I want to go out with her.

Dad: Who?

John: The girl across our street, Nina.

Dad: Oh no, you can't. Don't tell Mom but she's your sister.



John was furious, but a week has passed and he fell in love again.

...

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In his first trip to Japan, the businessman...

...is very nervous about meeting his wealthiest client, Mr. Nakagawa, whom he will be playing golf with the day after he arrives in the country. He takes a cab from the airport to his hotel and heads to the bar to drink his nerves away. Over the course of countless cups of sake, he meets a lovely yo...

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