What do you get when you cross J.K. Rowling with outer space?

AstroTERF.

What’s the difference between outer space and a Palestinian child?

Less rockets were launched into space.

What type of currency do astronauts use while in outer space?

Starbucks

What does a woman do in outer space?

Vacuum cleaning

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happens if you masturbate in outer space?

Your orgasm would be out of this world.

How did the first woman get into outer space?

Chuck Norris came.

Why is everyone in outer space a basic white girl?

Because the universal currency is Starbucks

Two aliens are observing Earth from their spaceship in outer space...

"This is interesting," says the first, "the biped species on this planet has developed satellite based nuclear weapons."

"Are they an emerging intelligence?" Asks the second alien, who looks exactly like the first.

"I don't know, they have them all pointed at themselves."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is so difficult to have sex in outer space?

No atmosphere

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night, two aliens descend from outer space...

...and land their little spaceship next to an old gas station in a small town. They get out and walk up to one of the old gas pumps.
The little alien says
"Take me to your leader."
The gas pump doesn't say or do anything. Slightly annoyed, the little alien repeats
"Take me to your lea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black guy in outer space?

An astronaut you racist bastard.

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet.

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space?

Because he was scared of vacuums!

Why is outer space so cold?

All the space heaters are on earth!

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

"Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim?"

"Nope, all outer space."

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poop walks into a bar.

He jumps up onto a bar stool and sits there for a moment, waiting to be served.

The barman spots the poop on the stool, looks around the bar and shouts, "HEY! How did this get here?!"

"Well, it's a long story... " says the poop, "basically, I woke up in the sewer last year and sudden...

Two Aliens

2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien

"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other

"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was an older couple who lived alone on a farm.

One day, the couple is visited by aliens from outer space.

Aliens: “For many years, we have studied and learned all there is to know about Humans. Everything, except what goes on in the bedroom. Would you be willing to sleep with us, for science?”


The husband and wife talked it ov...

I had this phone conversation the other day.

Me: “Consider this: like, right now, as we speak, there are human beings, like you and me, living in outer space. How crazy it is that we, as the human race, have collectively gathered the resources and technology required to haul dozens of tons of materials, entire habitats, up 350 thousand kilomet...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.