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Tenor Jokes

How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.

I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors.

I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.

After hearing me sing, my music teacher said that I should be tenor.

Ten or twelve feet away from all musical instruments at all times.

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar...

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. Later, a D comes ...

What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?

Bisaxual

I have a friend who plays the Alto Sax and the Tenor Sax.

He is bi-saxual.

*I will show myself the door*

You know, everyone is always talking about army bases...?

why no love for army altos or army tenors?

A guy walks up to a musician...

"You ok?" He asks?
"Yeah." The musician responds, "Just thirsty."
"There's a vending machine with some water over there if you need it."
"Yeah I tried it... It only accepts ones."
The musician opens a suitcase next to him, revealing a saxophone.

"I only got a tenor on me."

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My wife's voice always gets deeper after sex

She looks at herself in the mirror and thinks she's an eight but really she's a tenor.

Crossword help please:

9 Across: Pavarotti gets Angry. (5,5)


Sorry my mistake, that's Tenor Cross.

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So a duck walks into a bar

DUCK hey

BARTENDER Holy shit, you can speak?

DUCK Yeah, I can sing tenor opera too goddammit, you wanna pick your jaw of the goddam bar and get me a cold beer an a cheese sam'ich?

BARTENDER Sure thing, sorry, comin' right up. So, ah, you new around here?

DUCK Yeah I'm jus...

Only in America

A European Count who had a fascination with the American West, arranged for a trip to a Texas town named Outlaw. Outlaw was small but didn't know it and the town fathers were determined to impress the Count with their worldliness. They arranged to have the local orchestra perform Beethoven's Ninth...

A percussionist tells his fellow percussionists some puns

His group laughs at every pun he makes. He asks a friend:

Hey, are my puns a tenor what?

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Talented Pets

A tramp goes into a bar and says to the barman 'Gimme a shot of your finest whiskey and I'll show you something amazing.'

The barman agrees and the tramp pulls out a hamster from his pocket and puts it on the piano stool. The hamster then begins to play the most incredible music that anyone i...

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An XM station was looking for a sportscaster...

An XM sports station was looking for a new sportscaster for play-by-play commentary for football games. The producer had two possible candidates lined up, and he brought them to meet the station manager.

The station manager was impressed by the first young man. He was bright, well-spoken, dre...

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