UPJOKE
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What is a Soviet musical duet?

A Soviet musical quartet after a trip abroad.

A banjo asked a fiddle to marry him. "Don't frett," he said. "Just duet and we'll live in harmony until the end of time."

Ten months later, the fiddle started to tip the scales. Her belly was noticeably bowed and before you could say concerto, out popped a minor.

Daddy banjo went to the Hyundai dealer and traded in his old Accent for a brand new Sonata. After just a month, mama fiddle lost her key at the bar and...

Two great musicians hated each other

And after years of always being compared to one another, they finally decided to have a duet of guitars to see which was the better player. They carefully selected an audience of musical experts, and with that they played.

After a fifteen minutes duet, the vote was cast. Amazingly, the result...

My partner refuses to go to Karaoke with me.

Guess I have to duet alone.

What's Palpatine's favorite type of song?

Duet.

What did Han Solo’s last name change too after he married Leia?

Han Duet.

I was having trouble finding a singing partner,

so I bought myself a duet yourself kit.

What did the optimistic singer say in a failed attempt to save a suicidal man’s life?

Duet?

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend...

...just duet!

What is Shia Labeouf's favourite genre of music?

Jazz Duets.

It's quiet...too quiet...

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?

She had to buy a duet yourself kit...

*-drops mic-*

*-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*

A man is in court

(Long but worth it)

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."
Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the spot, you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A talent scout walks into a bar.

He orders a beer and starts talking to the patron next to him, and somehow they start talking about their jobs.

"I'm a talent scout," the scout says, "I'm always looking for the next big act!"

"Really?," says the patron, intrigued. "I've got a fantastic act, more brilliant than anythin...

A collection of Radio Yerevan jokes

Radio Yerevan jokes were basically a pre-internet meme here in the former Eastern Bloc, which follow a simple QnA format and were often political, and here's a few of my favorites:

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Radio Yerevan was asked: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union in the same w...

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